In Syracuse recently, my friend Lindsay and I were talking about our favorite Halloween costumes. It’s a fun question and it got me thinking about all the things I’ve dressed up as. Some of them were a bit boring, like a witch or a hula girl. Others were fun but inconvenient because I couldn’t sit down, like a Tootsie Roll. Others were straight-up fun, like Madonna.
What was your favorite Halloween costume?
When you’re dressed up, do you commit to the role? Did you take the opportunity to be someone completely different?
So often we want to be someone new, we want to transform ourselves, but we’re unwilling to shed what’s holding us back.
Fear, anxiety, and depression can keep us stuck, as can unresolved trauma, in which case we may need a therapist to help move us forward.
But often what keeps us stuck are bad habits. We want to lose weight, but we always stop for a caramel macchiato on the way to work. Relationships and jobs can be bad habits, as well. It can be easier to stay where we are than to risk being alone or to look for something we might like even less (but you won’t know unless you try).
Another thing that holds us back can be unchallenged rituals. We can have old rebellious responses that no longer apply, but we’ve never taken the time to examine them. It might be time to evict these past internalized enemies.
Another question to ask yourself is whether who and what you are now is your own dream or someone else’s? Did your parents want you to take over the family business or become a teacher or tell you that you weren’t smart enough for college?
You can be whoever you want to be in real life, not just at Halloween.
How are you longing to transform? What one step can you take toward that goal this week?
I’m the Toots on the right