This morning, I saw a link to a quiz on Instagram, Which Feminine Archetype Are You? I took the quiz and was then disappointed to learn they wanted money to reveal the answer. I kept my cash and scrolled on.
Have you ever taken a personality quiz? Read a self-help book? Looked at an astrology column? Haven’t we all?
Maybe not.
Christoph Heine, a psychologist and personality researcher at Witten/Herdecke University in Germany, and his colleagues investigated what they call the “self-insight motive” and found that some people have more of it than others. It’s a personality trait that varies between individuals just as introversion and extroversion do.
Maybe you’ve noticed this, too. Maybe, like me, you’ve had someone tell you that they’re not into self-reflection. And maybe, like me, you could hardly believe your ears.
Here’s what Heine found. The typical person with a strong desire for self-insight is relatively young, educated, open to new experiences, and concerned about maintaining close relationships. They are curious and constantly looking for ways to improve themselves.
This description reminds me of my friend Michelle, who is always seeking that kernel of personal truth. Or my friend Lindsay, who is always ready to delve into esoteric topics with me. One thing these two have in common, along with most of my friends, is a love of deep, meaningful conversations.
But here’s the rub. The path to genuine self-understanding involves challenging hurdles and uncomfortable truths. You can read a self-help book, but unless you put to work the techniques outlined by the author, you haven’t gained much. Motivation without follow-through doesn’t get you far. What’s more, if you ask others for feedback, you need to ask people who will be honest with you. What good is a half-truth or outright lie told to spare your feelings?
Self-insight can be empowering. When I found out my Myers-Briggs type is rare in women (INTJ), I felt a sense of relief. So that’s why people have told me I’m assertive or even aggressive! It’s who I am. It’s not going to change. And it’s why I’m the one people call when they need something done now.
The key is to learn who you are and lean into it. Be boldly, authentically you, whoever that may be.
