So, there I was, driving through a beautiful spring morning, fuming over something my practice husband said over thirty years ago. I shook my head to clear it and tried to backtrack over my thoughts to see how I had ended up replaying that particular movie.
The fact is, our brains are playing movies all day, every day. Back when we were cave people, these simulations (as they’re called in scientific circles) were beneficial. They kept us alive. But now? We don’t need to vividly remember what happened to Dratzog when he got too close to that big thing with the tusks.
Simulations pull us out of the present. There we are, sitting through a presentation at work or running errands, and suddenly we’re a thousand miles (or thirty years) away, caught up in a mini movie.
We can only find happiness, love and fulfillment in the present, and being miles and years away keeps us out of the present.
Similarly, we can do this for future events. If I say X, of course she’ll say Y. That’s just like her. I can’t stand that. Or her, for that matter. It hasn’t even happened yet and we’re already incensed. Most of the scenarios we envision never happen. And if they do, they’re rarely as painful as we imagined.
Unfortunately, the more often we allow these mini movies to play, the stronger the neural associations between an event and its painful associations become. This brings us pain in the present when we could enjoy whatever pleasant things are actually happening.
One way to pull yourself back to the present is to remind yourself that in this moment, everything is perfect (or wonderful, or fine). It’s an affirmation I use frequently. The more I use it, the more I see the truth of it. In this moment, everything is perfect.
If your brain rejects that affirmation, try this one: Everything is unfolding beautifully.
Stay present. Because in this moment, everything is perfect and everything is unfolding beautifully.
