I’m not a fan of the trend of saying something is a “trigger.”
When we frame a situation or someone’s words as a trigger, we’re putting ourselves in victim mode. And being a victim is never a place of empowerment.
Tammy Sollenberger, in her book The One Inside, asks the reader to consider using the word trailhead instead of trigger.
A trailhead is the place where a trail begins. Sometimes there’s a map at the trailhead that shows how long the trail is and the terrain it goes through. You can look at the map, but that doesn’t give you a sense of the wonder you’ll feel when you encounter a waterfall, or a cliff that allows you to see for miles.
You have to take the trail to feel the wonder and even awe.
What really gets up your sleeve? Waiting? Not feeling heard and understood? Watching TV with someone who talks during the show? Can you use the emotions that come up as a trailhead? Be curious. What comes up as you experience waiting, being interrupted, or trying to watch TV? What emotions do you feel? Where do you feel them in your body? What words do you hear in your head?
This is a waste of time. Or, If I never get a chance to talk, I simply won’t talk. Or, How rude!
Be present with that part of you, the part that has strong emotions and has something to say. Don’t send it away. This is an opportunity for growth. This is a way to integrate your shadow parts, your exiled parts.
Last week, I encouraged you to make a note of every time you said or thought that something was difficult. This week, jot down when you feel triggered. What happened? What were you feeling as it happened? What was going on in your mind? Were you able to look at it with openness and curiosity? Maybe you were even able to pinpoint where it originated.
Stick with me. This is all leading somewhere.
