Will it be a socks-in-the-soup kind of day?
Batten down the hatches! Run for cover! The sky is falling!
I’ll be under the bed where it’s safe. Text me if you need me.
These were my thoughts as I pulled my daily tarot cards on Tuesday.
The Tower? $#@%!!! That’s the worst card in the deck. And it’s the over-arching energy for the day?
Will I total my car? Is my best friend about to give me the heave-ho? Do I have undiagnosed polio?
Breathe, Toni. Breathe. Pull the next card. What should I focus on?
The 8 of Cups. Walking away. Whatever disaster is coming, I should focus on putting it behind me. Or maybe this card is saying to walk away from something before it all comes crashing down.
So, should I stay home? Dump my best friend before I get dumped? What if it is polio?
Maybe I should breathe into a paper bag before I pull the next card, what to avoid.
The 2 of Cups??? I should avoid deep connections? Flowing love? Intimacy?
My mind whirred the entire day. Should I worry about my son? My daughter? Were my granddaughters safe? My husband? When the hell was that Tower card about to turn my day upside down?
Why are we so quick to imagine the worst?
I don’t have a euphoric reaction of equal intensity when I pull the 9 of Cups, the card of wishes come true. My day isn’t spent wondering what extraordinary things are about to come my way. A book contract? A free vacation to New Zealand? A basket of delicious molasses cookies on my doorstep?
It turns out we’re hardwired that way.
Our early ancestors had to be on high alert at all times in order to survive. And although we no longer need to be hyper-vigilant, that negativity bias still has a starring role in how our brains operate. Unfortunately, this can have a detrimental impact on everything in our lives, from relationships, to decision-making, to even the way we perceive people and situations.
Are we doomed to be pessimists? Maybe. But that doesn’t mean we can’t choose optimism and positivity when we catch ourselves in a downward spiral of gloom.
- Stop negative self-talk when it begins so it doesn’t start to shape your experience.
- Reframe situations. Find a more positive light. Don’t put on rose-colored glasses, but refocus to give equal weight to good events.
- Establish new patterns. If you start to spiral down, put on some upbeat music. Watch a comedy. Read a good book. Go for a walk. Text your funniest friend. Hell, you can text me.
- Lastly, savor positive moments. It actually takes more effort for good experiences to be remembered. Stupid hard wiring. When you do have a great experience, give it extra attention.
A trick from neurolinguistic programming (NLP) is to feel the emotion of one of your most positive events. When that feeling is at its strongest, create a gesture like holding your thumb inside your fist or placing your hand on your heart. You want something you can do both easily and in public. Then, when you start to feel negativity creep in, all you have to do is that simple gesture to neutralize it.
So, what was my Tower moment that day? I got a cold (I hope it’s just a cold! Oops–there’s that negativity again). A bad cold could throw off an entire week. Or longer. I needed to focus on walking away from anything that was not serving me so that my immune system stayed strong. And yes, avoid close contact and intimacy. No sense spreading my germs around.
The Tower is also a reminder that I should pay attention to the cracks (or body aches) forming so that I can take action (or vitamin C) before things come crashing down.