Do you ever make a to-do list? And then, as you the items go from do to did, do you cross them off?
Have you ever done something that was not on the list, added it upon completion, and then crossed it off? It seems silly, doesn’t it?
We do it to experience the emotional high that crossing something off provides.
Our brains produce chemicals that cause us to feel different emotions. In the case of crossing something off the to-do list, it’s dopamine.
Another is serotonin. Most of our serotonin is in our intestines which is why we may lose weight when we fall in love. I have a friend who I swear falls in love just to drop five pounds.
Although we can explain our emotions with science, that doesn’t make them any less real. We’re still feeling all the feels—sadness, longing, happiness, disgust, surprise, and the rest of the gang.
The Strength card shows us the importance of taming rather than suppressing our emotions, and focusing them so that we can be powerful and productive. It encourages us to take a step back and observe what we’re feeling instead of reacting. Remembering that chemicals are responsible can help us take that step back.
If we start to cry in front of someone, what’s the first thing we do? Feel embarrassed? Try to stop? Apologize for crying? What if instead, we let the tears fall while taking a moment to notice what’s going on.
Ok, I’m crying. Sadness, what’s going on? And I feel embarrassed? Embarrassment, what’s up with that? On-coming apology, what’s your deal?
We can do this with any emotion, even if we’re not sure what which emotion it is.
I’ve recently started doing this. I’ve always struggled with anxiety. Even going to Target makes me anxious and I LOVE Target. Now, when I start to feel anxiety coming on, I step back and ask it what it’s anxious about. It literally takes a second. Note that I ask the emotion, not myself, what’s going on. I’m not to be trusted where emotions are concerned. I’m guessing few of us are.
When we take that moment to check in with the emotion, we give ourselves the opportunity to decide how we want to move forward. We tame the wild beast that is threatening to devour us. We might even become friends with it.