FUZZ! FUZZ! FUZZ! FUZZ!

Except it wasn’t “fuzz” I was scrawling, my pen almost tearing the page.

I had finally found a therapist who had the right tools in her kit. She had recommended I work through Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way. At the heart of Cameron’s method is what she calls “morning pages,” three hand-written pages first thing in the morning before your inner censor wakes up to tell you you can’t write that, whatever “that” may be.

Obviously early morning was the right time because I would never write an entire page of rhymes-with-flux at 2:00 in the afternoon.

And that’s one of the objectives in a daily spiritual practice. Not necessarily to see how long of a string of obscenities you can fit on a page, but to open us up, to inform, to heal, to hear the truth, to clear out space for us to be creative, authentic.

Meditation, running, journaling, playing a musical instrument or even touch-typing are fantastic ways to engage our bodies and the conscious parts of our minds, allowing Spirit, our higher self, our sub-conscious—whatever we prefer to call it—to speak to us.

And what was it my higher self was trying to tell me as I journaled so eloquently?

“You need to lose that loser of a fiancé. He looks good on paper, speaks French and Spanish, is literally a rocket scientist, but girl… getting a fuzzing grip.”

The trick to hearing that voice is to not get in your own way.

Buy a cheap-o notebook. Beautiful leather-bound books rarely invite ugly truths. Write before your inner scold has had her coffee.

Run, walk, or jump on the Peloton without music or an audiobook. Spirit has a hard time competing with Robert Palmer and Steve Winwood.

Meditate, or simply focus on your breath (what is meditation after all?) without the guide. Guided meditation has its place, don’t get me wrong, but ideas will bubble up more easily without words.

The same goes for playing an instrument. Play a piece that is purely instrumental so your mind isn’t occupied with lyrics.

Does anyone type things up anymore? Ironically, touch-typing involves words but they go in your eyes and out your fingers without involving your brain.

And what might you hear in all that quiet?

You’re playing it safe. Or…

Time to heal. Or…

Find a teacher. Or perhaps Be a teacher. Or…

Gloria Gaynor. Yeah, sometimes disco comes through. But the message might just be You will survive.