Do you have a friend who complains incessantly? (If it’s me, tell me right now so I can stop.)
Someone who never has anything positive to say? Who feels life is one big punch in the nose?
I need some advice.
It’s never easy to watch a friend flail, especially when you feel she’s bringing it on herself. This friend wants to find her Person but won’t talk to anyone new. She hates her job but won’t consider looking for another one. Has a complaint about almost every product or service she purchases, but never asks for what she’s looking for.
Which is better?
A.) Listen with an open heart
B.) Listen and offer suggestions with kindness, or
C.) Admit that the friendship has probably run its course
None of those options feel right. I don’t think I can listen with an open heart. Not anymore, anyway. No one likes unsolicited advice—and I know that’s not what she’s looking for because I’ve offered my opinion and it’s been ignored. But cutting the ties to her seems harsh.
As I’ve said before, it’s easy to see where someone else might want to do some shadow work. I need to reframe this and look at which patterns of behavior I need to change.
As I write this, I am in an ankle brace inside a boot that has me walking like Frankenstein’s monster. Unrelated, I’m also doing physical therapy for my knee. And I have a huge stye on my left eyelid.
I want someone to throw me a surprise pity party. I can just see me walking in. All my friends jump out and yell, “Surprise! We feel sorry for you!”
But I’m trying not to wallow. P.S. Can I get a “There, there” and a pat on the head?.
When we’re grateful for everything in our life, we open ourselves up to receive more. Thankfulness for every little thing harnesses the Law of Attraction.
Hot water that comes right out of the wall? I am grateful for this every single day. An attached garage? Yes! With a car that gets me there? Yes! A green light? Thank you—more please! The opportunity to learn to slow down, ask for help, and then accept it? I can say thank you, but I might not ask for more.
When we’re insecure or fearful, it can be difficult to admit it. Instead, we shift the blame. Rather than facing our anxiety about rejection from a potential job, we say we have to stay where we are to get our year-end bonus (never mind that there might be a sign-on bonus at that new place). Rather than feel vulnerable and ask someone out, we make excuses. “Online dating? I’ve heard nothing but horror stories!”
But we pay for our insecurities. Insecurity is always a collect call. (Does anyone know what a collect call is? I’m pretty sure I just dated myself.)
Maybe we’re not all the kind of person who grabs life by the horns. But what will you regret most in the end? What you did? Or what you didn’t?
Each time we’re grateful, the Universe sends us more to be grateful for. When we open our arms and accept it, we step closer to our purpose. What did you come here to do? Are you ready to fulfill your destiny? Or would you rather sit there and bitch about all you don’t have?
And don’t forget to give me your advice about my friend.