“I feel like we’re walking around like zombies,” my friend told me. “I can’t seem to shake the feeling that this guy is still with us somehow.”
I scheduled energy clearings with each of them. Suzanne and Allie had met a guy who was an actual energy vampire. He had gotten his energetic hooks into them and continued to sap their energy for days. It was spooky. I cut the energetic cord and cautioned them to not have any further contact with him.
People who are honest-to-goodness energy vampires are rare. But we all know people who leave us feeling depleted, tired, unsupported, or maybe even a little sad: the friend who is always in the middle of some drama and whines to us about it, or the family member who constantly needs help but never calls to see how we’re doing, or the co-worker who is so, so needy.
These lesser vampires aren’t going to go away unless we disinvite them. It may not be possible to cut them out of our life entirely, especially if we’re people-pleasers (and if you are, know that you are easy prey for these energy suckers). But we can be honest with them.
If we can sit them down and tell them we feel drained by the relationship, we have the chance to see behind the Dracula mask.
If they say, “I’m sorry. What do you need?” then there’s hope. If they become defensive or angry, they’re probably not going to change. At the very least, new boundaries will need to be established. We don’t have to answer every time they call. We can feel free to say we’re busy or give ourselves a hard out (I need to run at 7:20).
Or they may need a complete exorcism from your life.
If we continue to give them our time and energy, we need to ask ourselves why. Are we not worthy of mutually supportive relationships? Is our well-being not valuable? Shouldn’t we unapologetically respect our own needs?
There is magic in having clear energetic boundaries. Boundaries create a healthy separation between us and others. They allow us to have our own space and privacy, our own feelings, thoughts, needs, and ideas.
They allow us to be ourselves rather than who someone else wants us to be. And the Universe needs us to be uniquely us.