We create our own experience.
That can be a difficult truth to accept.
But when we take responsibility for our part in creating our experience, we take hold of our power.
Here’s the first question to ask yourself:
What do I find difficult in my life?
It might be a person or a situation. Think about what’s troubling you, especially something that you’ve found difficult for a long time.
The next question is where it gets tricky. You may not like it.
What payoff or benefit do I get for keeping things the way they are?
For example, if you never finish your paperwork and you bring it home to do on the weekends and still never get to it, why? What’s the benefit? It might be because one of your parents always berated you and you’ve integrated that into your personality. You don’t know who you’d be without someone berating you. Never keeping up with your paperwork keeps that familiar voice in your head, whether it’s your boss’s or your own. You may think that’s not a benefit, but you’d be underestimating how much we love what’s familiar.
Next question: What costs do I pay for keeping it like it is?
It might be the same as the payoff. You always have a voice berating you, as in the above example. But the cost in this case is that you also aren’t enjoying your weekend and you’re dreading Monday morning.
Once you’ve answered those questions, which is no easy task, go on to ask yourself:
How am I creating or allowing this?
What am I pretending to not know?
What do I really want?
What actions can I take to get what I really want?
And, most importantly, When will I do that?
Because, after all is said and done, more is said than is ever done. Put the actions on your calendar. Ask someone you trust for help.
To put a twist on a popular phrase, be the change you want to see in yourself.
