My friend Ash asked the best question the other day.
If you could go back in time, without changing anything, what five minutes would you choose?
Our friend group is called the Caftan Gals, and we get together once a month to sit in a sauna and gab. This question gave us so much to talk about.
The reason I love this is that it cuts through so much of the background noise. What I mean is there are rarely moments when we have pure bliss. Joy comes in sparkling flashes. I can think of very few moments when I was exactly where I wanted to be and nothing was bothering me.
Here’s what I mean. There was the moment when I held each of my children for the first time. I remember the feeling of overwhelming love for the child I had waited so long to meet. I also remember being exhausted by fifty-four hours of labor with my son and sheer terror as I saw blood spray the ceiling with my daughter (they forgot to clamp my end of the umbilical cord, but I didn’t know that. I thought I was hemorrhaging and about to die.)
Bliss? Yes. Nothing but bliss? Nope. So maybe I’d choose those five minutes. But the rule is that you can’t change anything. So maybe not.
What I finally settled on, after a bit of thought, was when my boyfriend (now husband) and I moved in together in college. We had a lovely apartment with leaded-glass doors and beautiful woodwork. It was definitely not student housing. I had a great job as a cook at a fancy restaurant. I was on my way to my goal of speaking seven languages, taking Spanish, French, and Japanese. And, most of all, I was so in love with him. I had it all. I felt like I was breathing sunshine.
What about you? What five minutes would you relive? You don’t have to choose just one time. Perhaps there are a dozen or more times you’d willingly go back to. And maybe, unlike me, you’d choose something sad, like the last time you saw a beloved parent or grandparent. Or a time that was difficult, but you persevered and won in the end.
What does the time you chose tell you about yourself and what you value?
