Asking for What We Want

“We’re giving up alcohol Monday,” I told my husband, Chris. I had expected him to faint at this news.

I’ve had chronic pain for about three years now and recently went on an elimination diet to see if that would heal it. Chris has been kind enough to change his eating habits with me.

Instead of passing out, he said, “Good. I’ve been wanting to take a break from booze for a while.”

Now it was my turn wonder if we had smelling salts. “Why didn’t you say so?” I asked. He shrugged.

Why is it so hard to ask for what we want?

Who is it most difficult to ask for something? Someone you know well like a spouse or good friend? Someone you know less well like a coworker or neighbor? Yourself? Your angels and guides? Spirit?

Is it that we don’t want to hear no? But if we don’t ask, the result is the same as getting no for an answer—we don’t get what we would like.

Maybe we don’t want to appear weak or needy. I don’t need anyone. I can do this myself.

Or is it a fear of rejection if we show our authentic self?

Being true to our own self means the freedom to express our feelings and desires without worrying about pleasing or displeasing someone else. It means not wearing a mask to hide our vulnerability. That mask can leave us feeling anxious, empty, or depressed. And it leads to being out of touch with our true feelings.

How much better is it to say, Please help me make dinner. Or Could you stroke my hair? I’m feeling sad. Or This necklace is what I’d love for Christmas this year. Or I’d like to take a break from booze for a while and it would be easier if you did it with me. How about I’d like to discuss a 15% raise? I’m pretty sure no one ever got fired for asking for a raise.

If asking a friend, partner, coworker or boss feels too daunting, try asking Spirit. Last week I talked about how the best prayer is like a conversation. Ugh—my car is making a funny noise. Help me find a trustworthy mechanic. Spirit knows which ones are reputable.

Or ask your angels and spirit guides. Their sole purpose is to help you, and nothing makes them happier. This is something I do before I’m even out of bed in the morning.

Just remember that asking Spirit or your angels and guides doesn’t get you out of having to ask a human for what you want or need. Taking off the mask and being authentic means taking risks.

But look at how much happier we could all be if we had the help we so desperately needed.