We’ve all heard that we should learn from our mistakes; that we should fail forward.
Easier said than done, right? Why is it so difficult to not feel like our failures define us more than our successes?
Reshma Saujani gave a TED Talk about the evidence suggesting that girls are socialized to be perfect. This makes them less likely to take chances if they think they might fail. According to Saujani, it’s the reason there are so few women who code.
Coding requires a certain amount of bravery, a willingness to try and fail and try again. But when we’re afraid to fail we give up after one attempt. Or we don’t even make that one attempt.
Having been socialized to be perfect, we feel if we can’t do something like a boss right out of the gate, we don’t want to do it, even if it’s something inconsequential.
There have been times when I’m working with someone and her guides will tell me she needs to sing. Loudly. I’ll relay the message and I always hear, “I can’t sing!”
So what. The guides didn’t say to go get a recording contract. Sing in the car with the windows up. Sing when you’re home alone. Belt out some Robert Palmer in the woods when you’re out running. Make a loud and joyful noise whether or not it’s in key.
I love Sara Walka of The Sisters Enchanted. She has a six-figure business, well on its way to seven figures, while raising two small children. She says if you’re looking for blog posts and worksheets without typos, you’ve come to the wrong place.
Shouldn’t getting the message out be more important than wasting time on a comma versus a semi-colon?
Reshma Saujani wrote a book called Brave, Not Perfect. Fear less. Fail more. Live bolder.
What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? Steal George Clooney away from his wife? Rob the Denver mint? Run for president? Eat an entire key lime pie?
It’s all in how we define failure.
Failure is not the opposite of success; it is a part of it.
And what is failure typically? Frustration? Slight embarrassment? A bit of chagrin? A mild humbling?
I started doing Facebook Lives this week, pulling a card for the Morning Glory Facebook group, doing a mini-clearing for the group and leading a simple grounding exercise or two. (I wasn’t a success right out of the box in terms of figuring out the technology. And that’s ok.) We’ve had a stalker card from the Energy Oracle deck, Playing It Safe. It’s about being in a situation that is adequate but missing out on something more exciting; limiting our joy because we’re reluctant to take a risk.
In Alice in Wonderland, the Queen of Hearts says, “Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
This week, why not make your motto, “I’ll do as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
Or maybe just one thing that is possible but might be a little scary.