Mercury Retrograde–Again

Businesswoman running

Hold onto your hat. It happens four times this year and it’s coming up fast—Mercury retrograde.

You’ll hear people say not to sign any contracts, to prepare for miscommunications, and for electronics to go haywire. And while all that can be true, Mercury retrograde isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Mercury doesn’t actually move backwards in the sky. It’s an illusion. Have you ever been on a train that passes another one that’s standing still? The other train looks like it’s going backwards. Mercury retrograde is the same sort of illusion. But illusion or not, the effects are real.

Mercury will station retrograde on May 10th in the sign of Gemini, an air sign. On May 22nd, it will then continue backwards into Taurus, an earth sign, and stay there until June 3rd. What this means is that we’ll be given an opportunity to review how we engage with others (Gemini’s influence) and how we feel secure in ourselves (one of Taurus’s specialties).

Here’s what you’ll need in your toolkit.

First, review the areas of your life that are currently teetering on the brink. How’s your bank account? Your love life? Your job? Shore up any weak points. Organize the messes in your life. Add security, figuratively and literally, where needed.

Mercury rules communication, so double check everything before you send it. You don’t need that text (sext?) intended for your honey going to your insurance agent.

Take a second or two before you respond. Keep your phone charged. Backup your computer.

Plan extra time to send emails, especially those with attached files. Don’t wait until the last minute to print important documents.

Leave early for appointments. Have a backup plan if you’ll be traveling. Expect delays.

These don’t have to be bad things. Use a delay to process an old wound. Finish something you started a while ago that’s left undone. Re-examine, renegotiate, or recommit to something.

Both Mercury and Taurus deal with money, so look for ways to save. Are you paying for Apple TV and not using it? Have you had an energy audit of your home recently? Is it time to start buying generic?

The best thing about Mercury’s retrograde periods is that they give us a chance to slow down, review, and revamp. If you know where Mercury resides in your astrological chart, you can take a swan dive in and examine what you’d like to change. If you don’t know, there are many free sites you can use. This is one of my favorites Explore your natal chart now.

If the rug does get pulled out from under you, roll with it. Laugh at the situation and yourself. Acknowledge the prank as if you’re in on it. And know that it’ll be over June 3rd.

Apples and Oranges and E-Prime

You’ve heard people say It’s like comparing apples and oranges when two things are so different they seem to defy comparison. Not that apples and oranges are so very different. They have a lot in common.

When you get down to it, though, nothing is exactly the same as anything else. Any one apple is unique among apples. And an apple in this moment is different from that same apple a week from now. Or a year from now when it’s compost.

Everything is in a state of flux.

The person who was on your nerves yesterday has changed and is no longer the same person, although he might still be on your nerves.

Think of all the things others have called you or that you have called yourself. Strong. Messy. Beautiful. Demanding. Tantalizing. Smart. Disappointing.

It’s time to shake off the mistaken identities put on us. How?

Down with the verb to be!

I will spare you the linguistic theory but know that a few people have proposed tossing out all forms of be: am, is, are, was, and were. It’s called E-Prime. E for English and Prime for the language variant this creates.

Here’s how it works.

Instead of saying I’m horrible with plants, say The last orchid I was given died.

Rather than I’m such a jerk with my brother say I just treated my bother unkindly.

This works to change our perception of others as well.

Change Stop being a pest, Cass to I’m overwhelmed right now and will answer you when I get a second.

Or change Zeke, you are an obsessive micromanager to Zeke, I need more freedom on this project.

This won’t entirely eliminate the effects of pigeonholing, but it can minimize them by letting us take a step back to observe the behavior. It allows us to save face.

When we slip up, instead of thinking I’m such a failure we can observe that in this one instance I didn’t do as well as I had hoped. Instead of beating ourselves up I run off at the mouth, we can reflect and see that When I got together with Penny, I talked more than she did.

Leaving the past in the past allows us to step into a fresh future. It reminds us that we’re in flux. That we have the opportunity to change. To grow.

Try it. Let me know what you think.

We All Love a Scary Story

I believe in Mary Worth. I believe in Mary Worth. I believe in Mary Worth.

My summer camp bunkmates and I stood around a mirror in the dark cabin and chanted. I believe in Mary Worth.

I had no idea what that meant. Wasn’t Mary Worth the kindly old lady in the comics section? Like a cross between Dear Abby and Miss Marple?

Suddenly, one of the girls let out a scream. Which scared the pants off the rest of us.

“Didn’t you see her?” the screamer asked. “She was right there in the mirror!”

I hadn’t seen anything. It was dark and there wasn’t room for six faces to peer into a hand mirror. But that didn’t keep me from being scared out of my skin.

What the hell had I been thinking?  Just a few years before that, The Ghost and Mr. Chicken had kept me awake for a week. Spooky camp rituals were definitely not for me.

We all love a scary story. The flavor of the scare we enjoy may vary, but there’s something about the other-worldly that piques our interest.

I couldn’t watch The X Files back in the 90s. The episodes about aliens were fine but the ones with psycho killers would have me sleeping with the lights on. And you never knew if you were going to get the paranormal or the butcher until it was too late.

And yet I talk to dead people. That freaks some people out. Hell, pull out a deck of tarot cards and watch people run away.

What we find scary, or which type of horror we enjoy, can reveal our own hidden demons.

Slasher films are geared toward teens and young adults because their brains are still grappling with what’s real and what’s make-believe.

Monster movies often unmask the monsters that lurk within us. We are capable of unspeakable things and confronting that malevolence in a movie helps us. It’s good to recognize the evil parts of ourselves.

Movies where science goes too far offer a window into our collective fears as a society at the time. Godzilla was terrifying in post-World War II Japan. Don’t Look Up addresses our modern fears about climate change.

Of course, at the core of the love of being scared, is our desire to understand death. To conquer our fear of death.

If we can only do that, we can gain more control of our lives.

Right?

So, what scares the pants off you? I’m dying to know.

What’s Etched on Your Emotions?

Please don’t ever do this with me

It’s 1965 and my father and I are standing on the curb in front of our house in Detroit. We’ve raked the leaves into the gutter and my father has lit them. We watch them burn and I wave a stick through the smoke. I can hear Simon and Garfunkel singing about the Sounds of Silence from the car of the teenage boy who lives next door.

What pleasant smell takes you instantly back to your childhood? What song carries you back? For me it will always be burning leaves.

Negative scents also carry associations with them. They can create a flashback phenomenon. Whenever something awful happens, I make sure I don’t wear perfume for a while so that I don’t have the two forever linked. I’d hate for my Chanel to become unwearable.

Scents, sounds, and flavors etch our emotions.

And, we may not realize it, but emotions imprint themselves on our bodies.

The very thought of someone trying to pinkie swear with me gives me the heebie-jeebies. I don’t know what childhood trauma my subconscious mind associates with it but ask me to pinkie swear and you’ll see me shudder.

Our fascia, that band of connective tissue beneath our skin, holds onto old emotions.
If you hate to get a massage, especially from a stranger, you may have more stored in your fascia than you realize. Massage releases the fascia physically which brings up the emotions from the original trauma (or even mini-trauma).

I wrote last week about forgiveness. About how refusing to forgive has effects on our bodies that range from physical pain to increased blood pressure and cardiovascular issues. Forgiving, whether you reconcile with the other person or not, is good for your health.

But you will most likely still carry the emotions you originally felt in your body.

There are two ways to release those negative feelings. You can find someone who does body work such as myofascial release.

Or you can have your energy cleared (shameless plug).

An energy clearing allows the emotions you carry to be released without you having to process them. It’s gentle and effective. It can also be enlightening as you discover where and what is lurking in your tissues.

Forgiving the Unforgiveable

Dear Beautiful You,

You know that person you need to forgive? The time has come.

Don’t get me wrong—I get it. I was sexually abused by a relative when I was little. I was raped as a teenager. I had a boyfriend who tore our furniture apart, threw it at me piece by piece and then lit the apartment on fire.

And then there’s the asshole (now ex-asshole) who walked out on my daughter when her youngest was only eight weeks old.

So, yeah. I understand what it is to have lived through or witnessed an atrocious and life-altering act.

But refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.

Instead, it’s poisoning your body. It may be migraines or constant inflammation in a joint. Maybe high blood pressure or a reduced immune system. It could be depression. But it is affecting your health. Don’t believe me? Google it.

Forgiving doesn’t mean condoning what they did. It doesn’t even mean you have to reconcile if you don’t want to.

What it does mean is leaving what happened in the past and moving forward. No longer ruminating. Letting go of the vengeful thoughts which, ultimately, are unproductive.

How, you ask?

Try having a series of imaginary conversations with this person while you drive.

Let them know exactly how you feel the first time or two. Look, mother fucker… Tell them in no uncertain terms how what they did has had adverse consequences for you and your relationships. Go ahead and scream. You’re alone in the car.

If I could kill you and make it look like an accident…

The next time you’re in the car, have the second conversation. List the negative implications of their action slightly more calmy. Continue with these imaginary heart-to-heart talks until you feel you’ve gotten it all out.

You can also write a series of letters that are never to be sent (and probably never to be re-read), but for most of us, writing requires more linear thought than talking. Besides, I like the imagery of leaving my emotional litter on the road for someone doing community service to clean up.

Remember, you’re not excusing, justifying, or minimizing what happened. You don’t have to let that person back into your life if you don’t want to. And if you do, it’s with your eyes open. There’s no need to trust them once they’ve shown you who they are.

You are doing this for yourself. It may benefit others in your life, but ultimately, it’s for you. And your physical and mental health.

Will it be easy? I’ll tell you from experience, no. And it may come up to be forgiven again in the future. Feelings are like that.

I hate to see you hurting, lovely you. There’s no hurry to let go of the hurt and anger. But I hope that eventually you’ll be able to.

Love,

New Moon in Aries Tarot Spread

Harness the fiery energy of Aries to make a change.

Here is a card spread for the new moon today. Harness the fiery power of Aries to make a change.

  1. Choose a card to represent the change you want to make
  2. What is the probable outcome of the change?
  3. What boundaries do you need to set to accomplish it?
  4. What should you let go of?
  5. What should you remember as you make the change?
  6. Where should you be careful?
  7. Who or what do you have on your side?

Reinventing the Wheel

My submission to the DePaul University Tarot Project

The Wheel, Judgment, Justice, the Moon… These were the last cards of the tarot to make sense to me.

And, I’ll admit, I still struggle sometimes.

So when DePaul University’s Tarot Project asked me to design a card and assigned me the Wheel of Fortune, I grumbled. Why couldn’t I have gotten a good card, like the Lovers?

Then I remembered that my theme song is David Bowie’s Changes. And if there’s one card that is the harbinger of change, it’s the Wheel.

The Wheel card has enough imagery and symbols on it to make my head spin. (See what I did there?)

The Wheel of Fortune from the Rider Waite Smith deck


A sphinx. And not just any old sphinx, one holding a sword. A demon. A snake. The alchemical symbols representing the elements, air, fire, water, and earth. The Hebrew letters for Yahweh. Plus T-O-R-A.  Or is that R-O-T-A, as in wheel? Or T-A-R-O? An angel, an eagle, a lion, and a bull reading books, all surrounded by big puffy clouds…

What the hell?

The Wheel represents cycles. Everything in the Universe has a cycle of change, of growth, of birth and death. Sometimes the turning is positive and beneficial, other times it’s not. But only one thing remains constant—change.

When we feel like we’re caught in a tornado, it’s natural to want to do whatever we can to get out of it. But a powerful storm is felt for miles. Instead, if we can find the center of it, the eye, we’ll have found the calmest spot. The outside of the wheel moves much more than where the axle is. Being a part of the changes, not looking to run from them, while not allowing them to upset us too much is the key.

If you pull this card when doing a reading on an important question, remember that even seemingly negative events can bring about positive change. Stay open and adaptable. Let life flow. Let it go.

If the Wheel card comes up as your card of the day, try something different. Look for something new to learn.  Take a chance. Chances are you’ll find it’s your lucky day

Don’t Ask!


Will I win the lottery? When will I get married? Do I have cancer?

The last two weeks we’ve discussed one- and three-card spreads and looked at some examples of questions you can get answers to using your tarot and oracle decks.

But are there some questions you should never ask?

Absolutely! Right at the top of the list is:

Will I win the lottery?
Or what lottery numbers should I pick? Yes, the Universe wants you to have all the wealth you desire. But the lottery is a game of chance. It lacks spirituality. Play it for fun.

When will I die?
Is this something you really want to know? Live each day learning the lessons you came here to learn. Ponder the great mystery that is life.

Will my cancer go into remission?
A better question would be How can I improve my health? Or What does cancer have to teach me?

Why? Because tarot and oracle cards are meant to be guides. Even teachers.

Some people will disagree with me on this, but I don’t believe in asking yes-or-no questions such as:

Will I win the court case?

Will my ex come back to me?

Should I accept this job offer?

Reword them. What do I need to know about this court case? What is my life lesson with my ex? What would be the potential outcome of accepting the job—and of not accepting it?

I’m also not a fan of timing questions like When will I get married? There are too many variables. The cards can tell you how things look at this moment, but as the butterfly effect shows us, small changes can create huge differences in an outcome.

What about third-party questions? These are queries about someone else. Is my husband cheating on me? (This is also a yes/no question, so doubly wrong). Why can’t my daughter get pregnant? What does my boss think of my coworker? Most card readers will tell you questions like this are unethical. They are definitely none of your beeswax.

I’ve cautioned against asking the same question repeatedly. Let me clarify.

Asking What is my next right step today? is great. Asking the same question without adding “today”? Not so much. When we ask for guidance, we need to follow it before we ask again. Not taking the advice offered falls into what I call “oracle abuse.”

Every morning I pull a card. My question is What do I need to focus on today? Or Who do I need to be today? Or What do I need to know about today? Asking these sorts of questions with a time limit of twenty-four hours is perfect.

Asking the right question is vital for getting a clear answer. Let me know if you’d like some help rewording a query so that it gives you an answer that informs and empowers you.

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