What’s Etched on Your Emotions?

Please don’t ever do this with me

It’s 1965 and my father and I are standing on the curb in front of our house in Detroit. We’ve raked the leaves into the gutter and my father has lit them. We watch them burn and I wave a stick through the smoke. I can hear Simon and Garfunkel singing about the Sounds of Silence from the car of the teenage boy who lives next door.

What pleasant smell takes you instantly back to your childhood? What song carries you back? For me it will always be burning leaves.

Negative scents also carry associations with them. They can create a flashback phenomenon. Whenever something awful happens, I make sure I don’t wear perfume for a while so that I don’t have the two forever linked. I’d hate for my Chanel to become unwearable.

Scents, sounds, and flavors etch our emotions.

And, we may not realize it, but emotions imprint themselves on our bodies.

The very thought of someone trying to pinkie swear with me gives me the heebie-jeebies. I don’t know what childhood trauma my subconscious mind associates with it but ask me to pinkie swear and you’ll see me shudder.

Our fascia, that band of connective tissue beneath our skin, holds onto old emotions.
If you hate to get a massage, especially from a stranger, you may have more stored in your fascia than you realize. Massage releases the fascia physically which brings up the emotions from the original trauma (or even mini-trauma).

I wrote last week about forgiveness. About how refusing to forgive has effects on our bodies that range from physical pain to increased blood pressure and cardiovascular issues. Forgiving, whether you reconcile with the other person or not, is good for your health.

But you will most likely still carry the emotions you originally felt in your body.

There are two ways to release those negative feelings. You can find someone who does body work such as myofascial release.

Or you can have your energy cleared (shameless plug).

An energy clearing allows the emotions you carry to be released without you having to process them. It’s gentle and effective. It can also be enlightening as you discover where and what is lurking in your tissues.

Forgiving the Unforgiveable

Dear Beautiful You,

You know that person you need to forgive? The time has come.

Don’t get me wrong—I get it. I was sexually abused by a relative when I was little. I was raped as a teenager. I had a boyfriend who tore our furniture apart, threw it at me piece by piece and then lit the apartment on fire.

And then there’s the asshole (now ex-asshole) who walked out on my daughter when her youngest was only eight weeks old.

So, yeah. I understand what it is to have lived through or witnessed an atrocious and life-altering act.

But refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.

Instead, it’s poisoning your body. It may be migraines or constant inflammation in a joint. Maybe high blood pressure or a reduced immune system. It could be depression. But it is affecting your health. Don’t believe me? Google it.

Forgiving doesn’t mean condoning what they did. It doesn’t even mean you have to reconcile if you don’t want to.

What it does mean is leaving what happened in the past and moving forward. No longer ruminating. Letting go of the vengeful thoughts which, ultimately, are unproductive.

How, you ask?

Try having a series of imaginary conversations with this person while you drive.

Let them know exactly how you feel the first time or two. Look, mother fucker… Tell them in no uncertain terms how what they did has had adverse consequences for you and your relationships. Go ahead and scream. You’re alone in the car.

If I could kill you and make it look like an accident…

The next time you’re in the car, have the second conversation. List the negative implications of their action slightly more calmy. Continue with these imaginary heart-to-heart talks until you feel you’ve gotten it all out.

You can also write a series of letters that are never to be sent (and probably never to be re-read), but for most of us, writing requires more linear thought than talking. Besides, I like the imagery of leaving my emotional litter on the road for someone doing community service to clean up.

Remember, you’re not excusing, justifying, or minimizing what happened. You don’t have to let that person back into your life if you don’t want to. And if you do, it’s with your eyes open. There’s no need to trust them once they’ve shown you who they are.

You are doing this for yourself. It may benefit others in your life, but ultimately, it’s for you. And your physical and mental health.

Will it be easy? I’ll tell you from experience, no. And it may come up to be forgiven again in the future. Feelings are like that.

I hate to see you hurting, lovely you. There’s no hurry to let go of the hurt and anger. But I hope that eventually you’ll be able to.

Love,

New Moon in Aries Tarot Spread

Harness the fiery energy of Aries to make a change.

Here is a card spread for the new moon today. Harness the fiery power of Aries to make a change.

  1. Choose a card to represent the change you want to make
  2. What is the probable outcome of the change?
  3. What boundaries do you need to set to accomplish it?
  4. What should you let go of?
  5. What should you remember as you make the change?
  6. Where should you be careful?
  7. Who or what do you have on your side?

Reinventing the Wheel

My submission to the DePaul University Tarot Project

The Wheel, Judgment, Justice, the Moon… These were the last cards of the tarot to make sense to me.

And, I’ll admit, I still struggle sometimes.

So when DePaul University’s Tarot Project asked me to design a card and assigned me the Wheel of Fortune, I grumbled. Why couldn’t I have gotten a good card, like the Lovers?

Then I remembered that my theme song is David Bowie’s Changes. And if there’s one card that is the harbinger of change, it’s the Wheel.

The Wheel card has enough imagery and symbols on it to make my head spin. (See what I did there?)

The Wheel of Fortune from the Rider Waite Smith deck


A sphinx. And not just any old sphinx, one holding a sword. A demon. A snake. The alchemical symbols representing the elements, air, fire, water, and earth. The Hebrew letters for Yahweh. Plus T-O-R-A.  Or is that R-O-T-A, as in wheel? Or T-A-R-O? An angel, an eagle, a lion, and a bull reading books, all surrounded by big puffy clouds…

What the hell?

The Wheel represents cycles. Everything in the Universe has a cycle of change, of growth, of birth and death. Sometimes the turning is positive and beneficial, other times it’s not. But only one thing remains constant—change.

When we feel like we’re caught in a tornado, it’s natural to want to do whatever we can to get out of it. But a powerful storm is felt for miles. Instead, if we can find the center of it, the eye, we’ll have found the calmest spot. The outside of the wheel moves much more than where the axle is. Being a part of the changes, not looking to run from them, while not allowing them to upset us too much is the key.

If you pull this card when doing a reading on an important question, remember that even seemingly negative events can bring about positive change. Stay open and adaptable. Let life flow. Let it go.

If the Wheel card comes up as your card of the day, try something different. Look for something new to learn.  Take a chance. Chances are you’ll find it’s your lucky day

Don’t Ask!


Will I win the lottery? When will I get married? Do I have cancer?

The last two weeks we’ve discussed one- and three-card spreads and looked at some examples of questions you can get answers to using your tarot and oracle decks.

But are there some questions you should never ask?

Absolutely! Right at the top of the list is:

Will I win the lottery?
Or what lottery numbers should I pick? Yes, the Universe wants you to have all the wealth you desire. But the lottery is a game of chance. It lacks spirituality. Play it for fun.

When will I die?
Is this something you really want to know? Live each day learning the lessons you came here to learn. Ponder the great mystery that is life.

Will my cancer go into remission?
A better question would be How can I improve my health? Or What does cancer have to teach me?

Why? Because tarot and oracle cards are meant to be guides. Even teachers.

Some people will disagree with me on this, but I don’t believe in asking yes-or-no questions such as:

Will I win the court case?

Will my ex come back to me?

Should I accept this job offer?

Reword them. What do I need to know about this court case? What is my life lesson with my ex? What would be the potential outcome of accepting the job—and of not accepting it?

I’m also not a fan of timing questions like When will I get married? There are too many variables. The cards can tell you how things look at this moment, but as the butterfly effect shows us, small changes can create huge differences in an outcome.

What about third-party questions? These are queries about someone else. Is my husband cheating on me? (This is also a yes/no question, so doubly wrong). Why can’t my daughter get pregnant? What does my boss think of my coworker? Most card readers will tell you questions like this are unethical. They are definitely none of your beeswax.

I’ve cautioned against asking the same question repeatedly. Let me clarify.

Asking What is my next right step today? is great. Asking the same question without adding “today”? Not so much. When we ask for guidance, we need to follow it before we ask again. Not taking the advice offered falls into what I call “oracle abuse.”

Every morning I pull a card. My question is What do I need to focus on today? Or Who do I need to be today? Or What do I need to know about today? Asking these sorts of questions with a time limit of twenty-four hours is perfect.

Asking the right question is vital for getting a clear answer. Let me know if you’d like some help rewording a query so that it gives you an answer that informs and empowers you.

The Three Card Spread

Although the one-card pull reveals a wealth of information, there are times when you want to know more.  How did I get here? What exactly is going on? What should I do next?

When you’re going to pull more than one card, the first step is to determine your questions and the position they will occupy. Past, present, future is an easy example. You’re going to lay these cards out left to right. Or the current situation, the obstacle you’re facing, and the cards’ advice.

Think about the situation as you shuffle. Try to be as concise as possible. Vague questions invite vague answers. Tackle one situation at a time. Don’t ask, “What is the probable outcome if I get married and I move to Martinique and I buy a house?” That’s way too much for one spread. The cards won’t know what to make of it and you’ll likely get an answer that makes no sense.

I like to cut the deck and take the top three cards, but again, there is no wrong way to shuffle and pull.

Here are some spreads I find useful:

What should I start doing? What should I stop doing? What should I continue doing?
Option 1, option 2, what you need to know to make a good decision
Opportunities, weaknesses, advice
You, the other person, the relationship
What you want from the relationship, what the other person wants, where it’s headed
What brings you together, what pulls you apart, what needs your attention
What you have, what you want, how to get there
What’s keeping you stuck, what to release, what to cultivate

And, of course, you can always come up with your own.

Tip: Refrain from asking the same question repeatedly. Ask once. Give it time to play out. If, in a few months, the situation still seems up in the air, review the cards you pulled. Tweak the questions in your spread if you feel they need fine-tuning. But resist the urge to continually ask the same question.

Next week we’ll look at some questions that you shouldn’t ask the cards.

Full Moon in Virgo 3-18-2022 Tarot Spread

With this full moon, look at reducing clutter–in your physical space, but also mentally and emotionally.

Pay attention to the details this lunation. Embrace (or find) you inner perfectionist.

Be in your body. Take a walk and feel the air on your skin. Put your face up to the sun. Take a bath. Enjoy your sensual self.

Let’s Pull Some Oracle Cards!

Oracle cards are the perfect tool for self-reflection, understanding and development. They’re like a GPS telling us where we are and where need to go.

The most popular and useful card spread isn’t really a spread at all. It’s the single card pull.

Let’s back up.

If you’ve never pulled your own cards, the first step is to find a deck that appeals to you. You can search oracle decks online. When you find one you think you might like, go to youtube and find a flip-through video. That will show you all the cards in the deck.

Once you have the deck, you’ll want to clear it. Open it up. Hold each part in your non-dominant hand and rap it with your dominant hand—each piece of the box, the guidebook and the deck itself. Then look at each card one by one to infuse the deck with your energy.

You can say an invocation over the deck if you like, a prayer that the answers it gives always be for the very best Say something like, “Spirit, speak to me through this deck. May its answers be clear, and true, and for the highest good.” I use the word spirit to encompass my whole team of guardians, guides, angels, and ancestors.

Next, shuffle. There is no wrong way to do it. Riffle, over-and-under, swirling them around on the table… however you like.

Now, think of your question. Shuffle again while you say your question either out loud or in your head. Here are some examples:

What do I need to know right now?
What message do you have for me?
What should I focus on today?
Who should I be for today?

Once you feel you’re done shuffling, pull your card. Again, there’s no wrong way to do it. Spread them out and choose. Cut the deck. Drop part of the deck onto the table and flip over the top card(watch one of the Facebook Lives in the Morning Glory Tarot group to see me do this).

Look at the images on the card. Read the card meaning in the guidebook and see what resonates with you. If the card seems out to lunch, sit with it for a day. Resist the urge to pull another. Let the meaning percolate.

Some other questions to ask:
How do others see me?
What is my next right step?
What is the probable outcome of _________?
How can I be more authentic?

Next week, we’ll talk about three card spreads.

In the meantime, tell me what questions you like to ask your deck. I love learning new ways to connect to my deck and to myself.

Tarot Spread for Pisces New Moon March 2, 2022

Dig into your mystical side. Do some spiritual introspection. Tap into your intuition and set intentions with this Pisces new moon.

Start a meditation practice if you don’t have one. Try something new if you do–like meditating while gazing into a bowl of water. Pisces is a water sign after all.

You might also want to do some dream work. Tell your subconscious what what you’d like a message about and then set the intention to remember your dreams before going to sleep.

Use this tarot spread for to see what the new moon means for you personally.

I Can’t Look

Don’t think about next week, I told myself. Deal with today.

Christmas was coming at me like a runaway Santa sleigh. It felt like we had to visit five sides of the family all at once. And have a gift for what seemed like sixty-four people. The day after Christmas, I was taking my daughter to Los Angeles for a week-long modeling competition. And the day after we got back, I was due in court. My ex was suing me for a ridiculous amount of money.

Just get through today, I repeated.

Compartmentalizing can be a useful skill when stressful events are stacked on top of one another. It helps to deal with them as they come.

But what about difficult emotions? Is compartmentalizing them useful?

It can be as long as we face those emotions. Running away from our feelings means we’re denying ourselves the opportunity to grow.

We all have emotions we’d prefer to avoid. There are things we’ve done we’re not proud of. Painful memories.

But refusing to accept them, burying them, denying them means we’re missing out on a chance to see ourselves as whole.

Unfelt emotions become stuck energy. Stuck energy keeps us from moving freely in the world.

When an unwanted emotion starts to emerge, rather than stuff it down, jot it down. Using a pen and paper allows our rational intellect to have a say. Our logical brains can create the distance needed.

How is the feeling showing itself? In a snippet of a dream? An image in the mind? A memory that doesn’t quite make sense? A sensation in the body? A desire to scream or cry or run for the hills?

Start by writing a few words and simply sitting with them. When you’re ready, pick up the thread again and follow it a little further, always with compassion. If this process starts to become overwhelming, you may want to process them with the help of a spiritual advisor.

We all have parts of ourselves that we don’t want to look at. But hiding behind them we can find authenticity. Inspiration. Buried treasure.

We can come out the other side feeling renewed. Wiser. And with the realization that this is what it is to be human.

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