I have a sleep app that I love. It tells me how much deep sleep I got, how much time I spent dreaming, if I snored or coughed and when. It’s the first thing I check when I wake up.

But then I realized it was keeping me in a mindset of lack because my first thought each morning is: Did I get enough deep sleep?

The last few months I’ve been focusing on turning scarcity thinking into thoughts of abundance.

I can’t afford that. That piece of cake will go right to my hips. There aren’t enough hours in the day.

These are all examples of thoughts that keep us from abundance.

We may think we’re being realistic when we say or think something like this. Instead, what we’re doing is creating that reality.

There is always enough money for what I need and what I want with enough left over to share. This piece of cake will bring me a little slice of happiness. Time always seems to expand so that I can get everything done and then relax.

Or, in my case, I sleep deeply and soundly. I always wake up refreshed and ready to face another wonderful day.

How do you want your world to look? It is possible to have what you want. If you’d rather not bump into someone when you’re out, set that intention instead of saying it’s inevitable. If you want to have a Valentine’s Day full of love and romance, start thinking it into being rather than telling yourself it’s impossible because you’re single or because your partner isn’t lovey-dovey.

This week, when you catch yourself saying something negative, turn it around. Don’t give in to the temptation to tell yourself you’re being a realist. You’re not.

You can have an abundant life, full of all the things you desire. Health, love, money, peace, time, even a good night’s sleep are yours for the thinking.

You’re more powerful than you think. Or, I should say, you’re exactly as powerful as you think. 

Our neighbor has a flag hanging next to his garage that my husband loves to hate. I’ve told him his hate poisons only him, but he either doesn’t care or doesn’t believe me.

But he’s not the only one poisoning himself. There’s one person in my life who makes me see red. I can get myself worked up months before I have to see her.

So, I’m trying an experiment.

We know that every living thing is made up of energy. And there have been many experiments showing that our energy affects that of other living beings. When we’re having toxic thoughts, we harm everything around us from the yogurt we’re eating, to the potted plants growing near us, to the people we share our space with.

What if, instead of replaying in my head conversations from years ago, I stopped, canceled that thought, and sent this person a blessing? What would happen?

I’m going to give it a week to find out.

I’m also going to try sending good thoughts and well wishes to two others: a woman I lost touch with in 1980 and someone close to me, someone I love a lot.

I’m setting aside three minutes a day to do this, forty-five seconds per person, twice a day (in addition to the negativity-canceling and blessing-sending).

My hypothesis is that I’ll feel lighter by feeling less negative. And that the energy of my house will feel brighter by changing my thoughts. I hope that the loved one feels the benefits of being sent positive energy. And it would be a wonderful bonus if my long-lost friend tried to find me.

Will you join me? What do you have to lose—three minutes you might have played a game on your phone? Who’s in?

I just watched a Woody Allen movie, A Rainy Day in New York. At one point, Timothée Chalamet’s character responds to a woman who says, “On your first date, you took her walking in the rain and she got bronchial pneumonia.” He says, “I’ll never live this down! You can’t get sick from getting wet!”

He’s right. Can we all agree that cold or wet weather doesn’t make people sick, germs do?

But why do some people catch that cold that’s going around and others don’t? It’s not because they were or weren’t wearing a hat, that’s for sure.

It’s because every illness has an emotional or energetic cause.

Stress, sadness, anxiety, fear, and even excitement can overwhelm us. This causes harmful energy to be channeled into the body. Our body then responds by taking steps to dispel that energy. We get sick.

Sometimes, the illness runs its natural course. But if we don’t address the underlying cause, we’ll get sick again.

It’s important to address both the physical manifestation and the underlying emotional or energetic causes.

For example, I have asthma and I’m prone to bronchitis. These flare up when I’m feeling overwhelmed because I’m doing too much. When I don’t feel loved, I do more. I tend to forget that my worth isn’t tied to how much I achieve. I have also experienced more than my share of abandonment. I should take the time to grieve those who have left me, but, like so many of us, I never get around to it.

It’s that sort of cycle that keeps us stuck in the same energetic ruts.

When we remember that our ailments are our bodies’ attempts to deal with our emotional states, we can begin to truly heal.

In Chinese medicine, grief lives in the lungs. Anger lurks in the liver. Worry is held in the stomach. Fear lingers in the kidneys. The chakra system has similar correlations.

Balanced treatment, one that integrates easing the physical symptoms while addressing the underlying cause, will ensure that we quickly recover our good health.

P.S. If you don’t have a copy of Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life, I highly recommend it. It has a reference section that lists illnesses, the probably cause and a new thought pattern to use to heal yourself.
P.P.S. A session with me can also reveal unhealthy energetic patterns that lead to the illnesses that you continue to experience.

Our neighbor has a flag hanging next to his garage that my husband loves to hate. I’ve told him his hate poisons only him, but he either doesn’t care or doesn’t believe me.

But he’s not the only one poisoning himself. There’s one person in my life who makes me see red. I can get myself worked up months before I have to see her.

So, I’m trying an experiment.

We know that every living thing is made up of energy. And there have been many experiments showing that our energy affects that of other living beings. When we’re having toxic thoughts, we harm everything around us from the yogurt we’re eating, to the potted plants growing near us, to the people we share our space with.

What if, instead of replaying in my head conversations from years ago, I stopped, canceled that thought, and sent this person a blessing? What would happen?

I’m going to give it a week to find out.

I’m also going to try sending good thoughts and well wishes to two others: a woman I lost touch with in 1980 and someone close to me, someone I love a lot.

I’m setting aside three minutes a day to do this, forty-five seconds per person, twice a day (in addition to the negativity-canceling and blessing-sending).

My hypothesis is that I’ll feel lighter by feeling less negative. And that the energy of my house will feel brighter by changing my thoughts. I hope that the loved one feels the benefits of being sent positive energy. And it would be a wonderful bonus if my long-lost friend tried to find me.

Will you join me? What do you have to lose—three minutes you might have played a game on your phone? Who’s in?

Giving up the hope that the past could be any different.*

My friend Michelle recently sent me a short video where Oprah quotes someone, whose name she can’t remember, giving a new definition of forgiveness.

I like that a lot.

I was working with a client yesterday who wanted to send her ex a letter explaining how she felt about his actions. This is someone she hasn’t seen in a year and a half and has only communicated with once in all that time. We talked about her desire to let him know about her lingering anger. I asked her why she thought he’d find that interesting. Odds are, he wouldn’t.

Just as she would be writing that letter for her own benefit, we forgive for our own peace of mind. Both acts have at their core the wish that the past could have been different.

When we forgive, we honor the Divine in ourselves and in others. We accept that we are all equal. We remember our innocence, as well as that of others. Forgiveness offers us the opportunity to digest toxicity and begin to heal. It allows us to no longer let someone else’s behavior affect our happiness.

Forgiveness is a deeply holy act.

When we refuse to see the Divine in others, we cut ourselves off from the Divine. We feel we have a right to be angry (and we do), but when anger is never allowed to dissipate, the poison eats only us.

How much better to step back into our true selves and let love be our source of power.

Who do you need to forgive? What action or circumstance are you willing to give up hoping that it could have been different? What are you waiting for?

*Here’s the short video. It’s just over a minute long. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1578859192161595

You’ve seen Pantone’s color of the year for 2026 by now. It’s called Cloud Dancer. It’s described as “billowy… and imbued with a feeling of serenity.” It was designed to soothe as well as inspire us to make a fresh start.

And while we have the opportunity to make a fresh start each day, there’s something about January 1^st that gives our resolve an extra boost.

It’s time to choose your word of the year if you haven’t already.

For 2025, my word was health. About a year and a half ago, I had COVID and it left my legs exceptionally weak. That led to other issues. All I wanted was to feel strong again. Having the word health as my focus allowed me to accomplish my goal.

But somewhere along the way, I lost my sense of lightheartedness. Of playfulness. Of fun. I had become a serious goose.

I’d like to recapture my sense of whimsy. I want to be able to allow myself to be silly. I want to find my sense of childlike curiosity.

I’ve been toying with synonyms because silly seems, so, well, silly. No one takes a silly person seriously. But that’s the problem. I’ve been too focused on being taken seriously. I’ve been taking myself too seriously. So, as much as I like the sound of whimsy, I’m choosing silly.

There are so may good words to choose as your word for 2026. Astrologer Yasmin Boland chose wild because she sees in the stars that we’re in for a wild ride. A quick look online turned up lean in to encourage facing challenges, who for a year of self-discovery, and overabundance for focusing on receiving and giving.

What word will your 2026 self thank you for choosing at the end of 2025? Maybe something as simple as yes. Or something fancy like my friend Michelle’s conviviality. Rest if you’ve been burning yourself out. Or flexibility. Maybe there’s something that will only make sense to you, like gray wolf, wonderland, or luminous.

Whatever it is, write it down and put it somewhere you’ll be sure to see it, like inside the door of a cupboard or on your bathroom mirror. Then, move it somewhere new every week so that you continue to see it.

Here’s to growth in the new year!

My father-in-law wanted to spend every second together when we used to visit him in California. One time, his wife (also an introvert) and I snuck off to watch the Property Brothers because we couldn’t handle another minute of small talk. My father-in-law found us and threw a tub of cookies at us to express his displeasure. We held onto our boundaries.

Each year, I see the same lists of strategies introverts should keep in their back pocket for when the holidays get to be too much. Set firm boundaries. Leave events early. Schedule time to recharge. Shop online. Some of them are realistic. Others not so much.

Here’s a strategy I’ve found helpful, especially if you’ll be traveling: Start a novel or a TV series before you leave. That way, you’ll already be familiar with the characters, and they’ll seem like old friends. If you choose a novel that has sequels, even better. You can go back to visit those friends for months.

If you’re looking for recommendations, two sets of books I enjoy are Louise Penny’s Three Pines series starring Inspector Gamache, and Richard Osman’s Thursday Murder Club books. Both authors have created deeply human characters.

With all the streaming services available, I’m sure you don’t need my recommendations for a good show to watch. But do start something before the holidays get crazy. Or go back and rewatch something you enjoyed.

And then make sure you give yourself permission to not be a perfectionist. To take the time to read or watch what you’ve chosen. Put those introvert strategies you see every year to good use.

And if someone throws a tub of cookies at you, hold onto those boundaries—and enjoy the snack.

I promised you that my last two blog posts were going somewhere. And they are.

In the newsletter of November second (here), I talked about how we stalk negativity. We forget we have the power to create something effortless and beautiful. I asked you to keep track of how often you have negative thoughts.

In the newsletter of the ninth (here), I discussed the concept of turning triggers into trailheads. I suggested you note when you felt triggered, as well as how you were feeling and what your mind was telling you. I asked you to listen to those feelings and words with openness and curiosity.

I could write a book on each of those subjects, but here’s the thing: when our default setting is negativity or when we’re feeling triggered, we’re not in the present moment. We’re cut off from our higher self and from Spirit. We should feel our feelings, but with detachment. We should view them from the perspective of our higher self rather than embodying those feelings. It takes some practice, but it’s worth the effort. When we’re in the moment, we can focus on our dreams.

Orville Wright, that American inventor, said, “If we worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true really is true, then there would be little hope for advance.” In other words, man can’t fly, so we’re stuck getting places at a snail’s pace, right? Of course not.

Here’s what you need to do to get what you want.

1. You need to be crystal clear about what it is. Do you send a message to Amazon and tell them to send whatever they want? You do not.
2. You need to set a deadline. I tried an experiment, ignoring step one. I told the Universe it had 48 hours to send me a surprise. Its choice, but it had to be something that was irrefutable proof that Spirit delivers. It didn’t take 10 seconds to receive it*.
3. Focus on those two things: what you want and when you want it. If you need to be somewhere at a certain time, let’s say the airport, you have two things on your mind: where you’re going and when you have to be there. You’re not likely to stop and do something on the way, especially if your airport is O’Hare and you’re dealing with squirrely Chicago drivers. Must. Get. To. Airport.
4. Believe what quantum physics tells us—that what we can’t see with our eyes is more fundamental to life than what we can see. Don’t believe it? Sure you do. Can you see how your phone, your internet, and your streaming services work? Nope. And yet you trust them to be there every time you want to text someone, google something, or binge watch your favorite show.

Now it’s your turn. Ask the Universe (Spirit, God, or the Divine—the name you use is unimportant) to show you something. How about gold stars? Or teddy bears? Or tacos? Or accordions? Choose one thing. Write it down. Give the Universe a 48-hour deadline. Stay present and focused. Now watch the magic happen.

I’m not a fan of the trend of saying something is a “trigger.”

When we frame a situation or someone’s words as a trigger, we’re putting ourselves in victim mode. And being a victim is never a place of empowerment.

Tammy Sollenberger, in her book The One Inside, asks the reader to consider using the word trailhead instead of trigger.

A trailhead is the place where a trail begins. Sometimes there’s a map at the trailhead that shows how long the trail is and the terrain it goes through. You can look at the map, but that doesn’t give you a sense of the wonder you’ll feel when you encounter a waterfall, or a cliff that allows you to see for miles.

You have to take the trail to feel the wonder and even awe.

What really gets up your sleeve? Waiting? Not feeling heard and understood? Watching TV with someone who talks during the show? Can you use the emotions that come up as a trailhead? Be curious. What comes up as you experience waiting, being interrupted, or trying to watch TV? What emotions do you feel? Where do you feel them in your body? What words do you hear in your head?

This is a waste of time. Or, If I never get a chance to talk, I simply won’t talk. Or, How rude!

Be present with that part of you, the part that has strong emotions and has something to say. Don’t send it away. This is an opportunity for growth. This is a way to integrate your shadow parts, your exiled parts.

Last week, I encouraged you to make a note of every time you said or thought that something was difficult. This week, jot down when you feel triggered. What happened? What were you feeling as it happened? What was going on in your mind? Were you able to look at it with openness and curiosity? Maybe you were even able to pinpoint where it originated.

Stick with me. This is all leading somewhere.

I was sitting in a lecture hall with my friend Amelia, waiting for peace troubadour James Twyman to come out and talk. I whispered to Amelia, “Do you see how the auras of the women in front of us are intertwined? They must be close friends.” Amelia shook her head no. She has psychic abilities, but seeing auras isn’t her forte.

An aura is an emanation of light surrounding a living being. It pulses, expands, and contracts. It can change color with emotions and circumstances, but a person will typically radiate one predominant color. I’ve had many people tell me my aura is green.

Since not everyone knows how to see auras (you can learn–it’s not difficult.), not everyone believes they’re real.

But now, maybe the doubters will believe.

Researchers from the University of Calgary and the National Research Council of Canada recently conducted experiments on mice and leaves from two distinct species of plants. They discovered a “biophoton” phenomenon in all three. They glowed. What’s more, the glowing ceased with death.

The study I read was long and science-y, but the upshot was what many people have known about for millennia. We literally glow with health until we don’t.

The scientific and medical communities can use this research to diagnose weaknesses and illnesses in living things. And I hope that one day they learn to use it to see a being’s energetic and emotional health.

I love it when science catches up to the spiritual community.