“Did you hear about the Ebola outbreak?” a dance mom asked me as we sat and watched the girls learn their choreography. This was about eleven years ago, when my granddaughters were competitive dancers. “We could all die,” she added grimly.

Only four cases had been confirmed in the United States, but we were all about to die. None of the people who had contracted it in the US had died, but we had better all Prepare For The Worst.

Why do we stalk negativity?

What do we Google? Disease and disasters. What do we prepare for? Emergencies. (Have you used up all the pandemic-era TP you hoarded yet?) We love to sink our teeth into a juicy calamity.

Let’s look at the flipside.

The opposite of sickness is health. How can you prepare for it? The flipside of lack is abundance. How can you study it? How can you sink your teeth into a juicy happy outcome?

Health, abundance, and happy outcomes are just as real. The negative and the positive are both true. It’s a question of which side you’d prefer to live on.

Most of our thinking comes from what we learned from the moment we were born. We imitated our parents’ mindsets and actions. We tell ourselves life is hard because that’s what we’ve always heard. We spend so much time talking about what doesn’t work and what’s wrong, that we forget that we have the power to create something effortless and wonderful.

This week, keep track of how many times you think and say that something is difficult. That’s all. Just keep a running tally. Later, we’ll work on changing the mindset. But for now, see how deeply ingrained that mindset is.

I’m not a fan of the trend of saying something is a “trigger.”

When we frame a situation or someone’s words as a trigger, we’re putting ourselves in victim mode. And being a victim is never a place of empowerment.

Tammy Sollenberger, in her book The One Inside, asks the reader to consider using the word trailhead instead of trigger.

A trailhead is the place where a trail begins. Sometimes there’s a map at the trailhead that shows how long the trail is and the terrain it goes through. You can look at the map, but that doesn’t give you a sense of the wonder you’ll feel when you encounter a waterfall, or a cliff that allows you to see for miles.

You have to take the trail to feel the wonder and even awe.

What really gets up your sleeve? Waiting? Not feeling heard and understood? Watching TV with someone who talks during the show? Can you use the emotions that come up as a trailhead? Be curious. What comes up as you experience waiting, being interrupted, or trying to watch TV? What emotions do you feel? Where do you feel them in your body? What words do you hear in your head?

This is a waste of time. Or, If I never get a chance to talk, I simply won’t talk. Or, How rude!

Be present with that part of you, the part that has strong emotions and has something to say. Don’t send it away. This is an opportunity for growth. This is a way to integrate your shadow parts, your exiled parts.

Last week, I encouraged you to make a note of every time you said or thought that something was difficult. This week, jot down when you feel triggered. What happened? What were you feeling as it happened? What was going on in your mind? Were you able to look at it with openness and curiosity? Maybe you were even able to pinpoint where it originated.

Stick with me. This is all leading somewhere.

Fall is in full swing. The trees are getting rid of what no longer serves them—their leaves. We can take a cue from them and lean into letting go. It’s time to release some stagnant energy.

The first step is easy. Walk through your home with fresh eyes. Choose three things to donate or give to someone who would use or appreciate them.

Next, find an old notebook. I’m guessing you have more than one that’s only half used. Each day, begin your morning by writing one thing that you are emotionally releasing, that you are letting go of for the day. I release the expectation that I must do what others ask of me. I release feeling inadequate for today. I let go of thinking that today I have to accomplish everything on my to-do list.

Finally, commit to going outside every day to choose something from nature to bring inside. If you have an altar, you can add your item to it. If not, you may wish to start one. Or you can create a centerpiece that you add to each day. The item can be a colorful leaf, a fall blossom like a mum, a New England aster, or a sprig of goldenrod. It might be a rock that catches your eye, a twig, an acorn or a pinecone. The best way to do this is to clear your mind and let the object find you.

These small acts will connect you with the season and will ensure that you commune with nature, however briefly, each day.

As we approach Halloween and the witches’ sabbat Samhain, the veil between the living and the dead thins. We have the opportunity to more easily contact our loved ones who have passed.

Spooky?

It doesn’t have to be. Remember, these are people who loved (and still love) you.

Start off slowly. Ask for a sign that they’re with you. Be specific. Common signs are cardinals and pennies, but you can make the sign something more personally meaningful if you like. I have a friend who asked her mother to send luna moths as her sign. You can say something like, “Dad, show me a dragonfly to let me know you’re with me.”

Then, keep your eyes and ears open. The dragonfly could appear anywhere—on the side of a truck, or on a billboard. You might overhear someone say dragonfly or read it in a book.

Don’t be discouraged if you don’t receive your sign immediately. It’s not uncommon for a spirit to have to figure out how to send what you’re looking for, especially if they’re new to the spirit realm.

Once you see your sign, thank your loved one. They’ll be as thrilled as you are to communicate with you.

Soon, you’ll be seeing butterflies, or rainbows, or whatever more and more frequently.

When you feel you’ve established a firm connection with your loved one, you can ask for answers to questions you may have. Again, this will take time to develop. But those on the other side have access to all the knowledge of the Universe. Ask that the answer to yes/no questions be sent with your sign. When you’re comfortable with that, you can move on to asking for more complicated answers to be sent in the form of vivid dreams.

You are so loved! Let those who have passed show you how much.

We have a lot of milkweed plants where we live, which means we have monarch butterflies. Whenever I see one, I think of transformation and rebirth. I take a moment to reflect on the changes I’d like to make in my life.

What one change would you like to make? Would you start a business? Write a book? Get healthy and fit? Find love?

When you’ve made changes before, how easy were they?

Most of the ones I’ve made were messy. When I’ve moved, I’ve had to deal with all the stuff I’d accumulated. When I started a corporation, I couldn’t believe the amount of red tape involved. And if you’ve had children, you know that from the moment you go into labor until they move out of the house, it’s literally one mess after another.

Is it the mess that’s keeping you from transformation?

Caterpillars don’t have a choice. They are destined to change into butterflies or moths. They don’t slip into a cocoon, don a pair of wings, and then fly off.

Instead, they have to dissolve into a disgusting blob of goo to become butterflies. Every molecule of caterpillar must disappear before it can transform.

Where are you in the process? Are you still a caterpillar? Or have you started, and you now feel like a mess wrapped in blankets? If so, give yourself some shine. You’re on your way! And, just like the butterfly, you need the brief struggle to push your way out because struggle makes you stronger.

Sometimes, if we can recognize that feeling like we’re dissolving means we’re transforming, it’s easier to make it through.

I was at a bar, waiting for my date to arrive, and he was late. I looked at my watch and decided five minutes wasn’t so late; I could wait a little longer. This was before cellphones, so I couldn’t text him to see where he was. Five minutes became ten, which became fifteen. I wasn’t worried that something had happened to him, I was angry that he valued me and my time so little. I decided to wait just a little longer and then I’d leave. Which I did. And I was fuming.

These days, everyone has a cellphone, and I still get angry when someone is late. I’m glad I’m not a worrier, concerned that the person who’s late was in an accident. But I sometimes wish I were the kind of person who said, Oh, that’s just Emma! She always runs a little behind.

How about you? How do you feel when someone cuts you off in traffic or refuses to let you merge? What does the voice in your head say when a server or salesperson is rude to you? How do you react when someone interrupts you or gives you unsolicited advice?

We can’t control other people’s behavior. We can only control how we react to them. And I think we forget that. I know I do, especially in the moment.

From a spiritual perspective, irritation can be an important teacher. It’s impressive when we’re able to remain centered and calm when we’re uncomfortable. It’s easy to be Zen when everything is to our liking, but how often does that happen? There will always be people and circumstances outside our control.

The goal of spiritual growth is not to learn to control our environment. That’s an ego-driven goal. Sure, we can have some say in how our reality unfolds. There are plenty of spiritual tricks for doing just that. But when we choose to react to irritation with detachment, calm, or even compassion, we can see our progress. Mastering our internal reality means we’ve become masters of our lives.

Fortunately, life offers an abundance of opportunities to practice and cultivate patience, tolerance, and acceptance. Which means we have plenty of chances to grow.

“I feel a sore throat or tonsilitis,” I say week after week in my Wednesday Facebook Live. “Someone has fifth chakra issues.”

What the hell does that mean?

It means that someone watching my Live is afraid of speaking up. They worry about being judged. They find it hard to say no or to express their needs. Sometimes it means that they have something that needs to be said, something they’ve been holding onto for a long time.

If you have (or had) chronic strep throat or tonsillitis, or frequently feel like there’s a lump in your throat, or if you carry tension in your neck or jaw, you most likely need to do some work on your fifth chakra. Other signs would be thyroid issues, grinding your teeth or clenching your jaw, or frequent stiff necks. These are your body’s ways of saying it wants to be heard. That it wants you to be heard.

The fifth chakra is located in the throat area. It’s associated with the color blue. When balanced, it allows for honest and confident communication. It governs truth, authenticity, and self-expression.

Fortunately, it’s relatively easy to bring this chakra back into alignment.

The easiest thing to do is sing, especially emotional songs. Find some Adele and belt it out. If there’s a song that makes you cry, sing that.

Chanting is also good. Or even screaming. Try it. Scream for a minute straight every day for a week.

You can journal to get out the unspoken words. Or write letters that you won’t send. Writing will change your thoughts from a swirling cloud that looks like the Tasmanian Devil cartoon, to something linear that is easier to dissect and deal with. Or get a stuffed animal you can put on your car’s dashboard that you can talk things through with when you’re driving alone.

I always recommend working with affirmations. A good one for your fifth chakra is: It’s easy for me to speak my truth. I let my voice me heard. Or It is safe for me to express myself. If your brain tells you you’re a fat liar when you use an affirmation, change it to a question. Why is it so easy for me to speak my truth and let my voice be heard?

And consider coming to the Workshop at Three Waters Reserve in Brodhead, Wisconsin. I’m going to bring my singing bowl and do some sound healing, which is especially powerful for the fifth chakra.

‘Gut Feelings’ Are Memories from the Future, Scientists Say.
Even the CIA has publicly released data on the psychic phenomenon.”

I saw this headline and was intrigued. Unfortunately, the article was behind a paywall.

This news doesn’t surprise me. What does surprise me is that it took scientists (and the CIA) so long to investigate it.

Five or six years ago, out of the blue, I decided to no longer be a wedding officiant. I had been marrying couples for about twenty years, and it was time for a change. I still enjoyed everything about my job, but something inside me was telling me it was time to pivot. I contacted the websites I advertised on and cancelled my accounts. One of them tried their damnedest to retain my business. They offered me steeper and steeper discounts. I almost relented but then listened to my gut.

Three months later, the pandemic hit. If I had spent money on advertising, it would have been wasted.

I’m sure you have a similar story. A job you quit before the company went under. A trip you didn’t take to a city that ended up having a mass shooting while you would have been there. The alternate route that struck your fancy—and kept you from a huge traffic jam.

Or maybe you’ve had the reverse, a gut instinct you didn’t listen to. Hopefully, whatever happened taught you to listen the next time.

What scientists are studying is whether gut feelings are a form of precognition. That is, the ability to perceive events before they occur.

From the work I do clearing energy, I know that time is not linear. I can access information from the past, the present, and the future. So can you.

There is something called the gut-brain axis, a network of nerves that connects your brain and your gut. Those butterflies in your stomach or upset tummy when you’re nervous are part of your gastrointestinal tract sending signals to your central nervous system.

All this to say, trust those gut feelings.

And P.S. It’s about time science looked into it.

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, Wow! What a Ride!”
                                            –Hunter S. Thompson

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook recently. She remarked that she’s not physically adventurous or an exciting risk-taker.

I was reminded of this today when I was talking with one of my granddaughters. She’s a high-school freshman and is taking advanced weightlifting. She’s the only girl in that class. And she said she didn’t think freshmen were allowed to be in the advanced level.

I told my granddaughter that I was proud of her. Taking a class where you’re both the youngest and the only girl is scary. It’s a risk.

But every time we take a risk, we push the boundaries of what we thought we were capable of. We prove to ourselves that we’re made of strong stuff. We open the door to the next challenge, which we’ll face with a little less fear because we know we could handle the previous test.

We don’t have to leap out of an airplane or bungee jump over a river to “loudly proclaim, Wow! What a Ride!”

Take a moment to think of something you’ve done that tested your safe boundaries.

Me? I graduated from high school early and moved to Paris to study at the Sorbonne. I didn’t speak much French and didn’t know if I’d even be accepted by that venerable institution. But that was ages ago. More recently, I dissolved the corporation I had run for twenty years and started on a new career path: energy clearing. That was a scary move.

Small things count as well. Maybe you stood up for yourself. Or you advocated for someone. Perhaps you allowed yourself to tell the truth when it was difficult or uncomfortable. It might even have been saying no to someone.

Courage comes in many forms, not just physical. There are emotional, moral, and social acts of derring-do.

How can you experience something unfamiliar this week?

P.S. I can’t even look at the photo of the woman on that swing without raising my blood pressure to an unhealthy level!

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime, doubly so.
                –Ford Prefect, from Douglas Adams’s Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

When one of my granddaughters was an infant and the other a toddler, I had them a few times a week for fourteen-hour days. There were times when I felt like the day was never going to end. Time absolutely dragged.

Conversely, when I’m writing or crafting, I completely lose track of time.

If only there were a way to speed time up when we’re bored or overwhelmed and to slow it down when we’re having fun.

Guess what—there is.

I just read an interesting study where participants engaged in various activities. They had a clock that was either accurate or artificially sped up. Those with the sped-up times believed the activity was more enjoyable because they were tricked into thinking time had flown by.

Time flies when you’re having fun, after all.

Here’s a thought experiment for you. Think of a time you went to a theme park. The wait for the ride seemed endless, didn’t it? Especially compared to the time on the ride. But which do you remember more of? Most likely, it’s the ride. You remember how fun and thrilling it was. And you probably remember the amount of time the ride lasted incorrectly, thinking it was longer than it was because you were completely absorbed in the experience.

If you want to slow down time, pay attention to it. Savor what you’re doing. Bring your attention to the moment. See everything from the outside with fresh eyes.

If you want to speed up time, don’t look at the clock. That’s the worst thing you can do. If you’re stuck in traffic, notice the trees on the side of the rode. In an airport, you can people-watch. If time is standing still in a boring meeting, doodle or play buzzword bingo. In other words, find a fun distraction.

If the years seem to be flying by, it’s due to something called memory consolidation. You need new experiences so that your brain has more to process. Go somewhere new. Learn something new. Read a book from a different genre than your usual one.

When you find you can manipulate time, you’ll feel the power and magic that were in you all along.