Now is the ideal time to decide what you truly want–not what other people expect or think you should want. What wild idea is itching to see the light of day? Set that intention. Then get going!
New Moon in Aquarius Tarot Spread
Forgetting the Past
I was standing in my friend Kaye’s kitchen, in my pink pajamas, when suddenly I knew exactly what was going to happen next.
I had been driving my son to his friend’s house one evening. I was already in my PJs for the night, but I was just dropping him off, so no one was going to see me. Then I realized I was in Kaye’s neighborhood and called her up.
“Come on over!” she said.
She did not mention that she had company. I did not mention that I was in my pajamas. It was all starting to feel like a dream, the one where I’m naked in public.
And then the déjà vu hit. I felt I knew what was going to happen next and what was going to be said next.
Most of us have had moments of déjà vu, that feeling that we’ve been in that exact spot, or said those very words, or done that thing before.
Is it some neurological trick? Is it evidence of a past life?
You’d think we’d remember our past lives. After all, they probably lasted, well, a lifetime, right? Why don’t we? Why can’t we?
In ancient Greece, the dead were crowned with wreaths of henbane to help them forget that lifetime so they could move forward.
Maybe we’re not meant to remember our past lives.
Have you seen the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?
In it, the two main characters have had a volatile relationship, they break up, and then undergo a procedure to erase all memories of each other.
Their past is too painful. They can’t move on while still remembering.
We’ve all had at least one painful relationship, one we wish we could erase from out minds. It could be with a parent, a friend, or a lover.
And for some of us, that pain keeps us from moving forward. We guard our hearts, refusing to be that vulnerable again.
Not remembering our past lives might, then, be a good thing. A blessing. We are able to move forward with freedom. There is little if anything holding us back.
There are some things we carry over from the previous life. Talents like an uncanny ability to play the piano at a young age. The people in our soul group. Cellular memories. And certain recollections that don’t match up with our present incarnation.
I’m pretty sure I was never in a friend’s kitchen in my PJs before. But it is likely that I had a prior experience of feeling surprised and exposed. And that there was a lesson that I was determined to learn this time around.
That evening, in Kaye’s kitchen, I didn’t run out of the house feeling mortified. I stayed, had a drink, and played games with everyone like it was the most natural thing.
I hope I got it right. If not, I’ll be saying déjà vu all over again.
A Tarot Spread for the Full Moon in Cancer January 17, 2022
Full moons offer us an opportunity to release. The first full moon of the year increases the importance of forgiving and letting go.
What didn’t work out the way you wanted it to in 2021? What (and who) upset your or left you feeling like you’re less than gloriously perfect? Now is the perfect time to recognize what you need to leave behind.
This lunation will highlight triggers and emotions. Things you’re avoiding will surface. Confrontations that arise are ones that have been brewing for a while.
Mercury retrograde at this time also means rehashing issues from the past and releasing what’s necessary to move forward.
Slow down. What’s really important to you?
Here’s what this full moon means for each sign.
Aries: Call out toxic behaviors and patterns at home or at work.
Taurus: Watch how you speak to yourself. Be gentle there.
Gemini: Adopt an abundance practice. Spend time with your budget.
Cancer: Are your relationships balanced? Also, if you put yourself last, stop it.
Leo: Slow down this lunation. Rest, relax, and then release what your subconscious unearths.
Virgo: Unresolved issues with friends may surface or friendships may be tested. Call on those you trust most for advice.
Libra: Clear out old belongings and junk. Also, do some shadow work and clear out your subconscious.
Scorpio: Get lost in a book. Start a daily reading practice.
Sagittarius: Losses and trauma may resurface. Confront this past pain with a therapist or mental-health practice.
Capricorn: Examine you committed relationships. Are there any unhealthy dynamics? You deserve to have your needs met.
Aquarius: Review your work-life balance. Kick a bad habit. Start your days in a healthy way (put that phone down!)
Pisces: What use to light you up as a child? Do more activities like that to bring yourself back into alignment.
Ack! The Tower!
Will it be a socks-in-the-soup kind of day?
Batten down the hatches! Run for cover! The sky is falling!
I’ll be under the bed where it’s safe. Text me if you need me.
These were my thoughts as I pulled my daily tarot cards on Tuesday.
The Tower? $#@%!!! That’s the worst card in the deck. And it’s the over-arching energy for the day?
Will I total my car? Is my best friend about to give me the heave-ho? Do I have undiagnosed polio?
Breathe, Toni. Breathe. Pull the next card. What should I focus on?
The 8 of Cups. Walking away. Whatever disaster is coming, I should focus on putting it behind me. Or maybe this card is saying to walk away from something before it all comes crashing down.
So, should I stay home? Dump my best friend before I get dumped? What if it is polio?
Maybe I should breathe into a paper bag before I pull the next card, what to avoid.
The 2 of Cups??? I should avoid deep connections? Flowing love? Intimacy?
My mind whirred the entire day. Should I worry about my son? My daughter? Were my granddaughters safe? My husband? When the hell was that Tower card about to turn my day upside down?
Why are we so quick to imagine the worst?
I don’t have a euphoric reaction of equal intensity when I pull the 9 of Cups, the card of wishes come true. My day isn’t spent wondering what extraordinary things are about to come my way. A book contract? A free vacation to New Zealand? A basket of delicious molasses cookies on my doorstep?
It turns out we’re hardwired that way.
Our early ancestors had to be on high alert at all times in order to survive. And although we no longer need to be hyper-vigilant, that negativity bias still has a starring role in how our brains operate. Unfortunately, this can have a detrimental impact on everything in our lives, from relationships, to decision-making, to even the way we perceive people and situations.
Are we doomed to be pessimists? Maybe. But that doesn’t mean we can’t choose optimism and positivity when we catch ourselves in a downward spiral of gloom.
- Stop negative self-talk when it begins so it doesn’t start to shape your experience.
- Reframe situations. Find a more positive light. Don’t put on rose-colored glasses, but refocus to give equal weight to good events.
- Establish new patterns. If you start to spiral down, put on some upbeat music. Watch a comedy. Read a good book. Go for a walk. Text your funniest friend. Hell, you can text me.
- Lastly, savor positive moments. It actually takes more effort for good experiences to be remembered. Stupid hard wiring. When you do have a great experience, give it extra attention.
A trick from neurolinguistic programming (NLP) is to feel the emotion of one of your most positive events. When that feeling is at its strongest, create a gesture like holding your thumb inside your fist or placing your hand on your heart. You want something you can do both easily and in public. Then, when you start to feel negativity creep in, all you have to do is that simple gesture to neutralize it.
So, what was my Tower moment that day? I got a cold (I hope it’s just a cold! Oops–there’s that negativity again). A bad cold could throw off an entire week. Or longer. I needed to focus on walking away from anything that was not serving me so that my immune system stayed strong. And yes, avoid close contact and intimacy. No sense spreading my germs around.
The Tower is also a reminder that I should pay attention to the cracks (or body aches) forming so that I can take action (or vitamin C) before things come crashing down.
Shitty First Draft
Getting it wrong is part of getting it right. – Charles Handy
Week after week I’d set pen to paper and wind up discouraged and embarrassed.
I had joined a writers group when we were still all getting together and no one had yet heard of COVID. The facilitator would give us a prompt, or a picture, and give us ten minutes to write. Then a few brave members would share what they wrote.
I was never one of those intrepid souls.
Ernest Hemingway wrote and rewrote the ending to A Farewell to Arms thirty-nine times. You’ll never believe what had him stumped. He said the problem was “getting the words right.”
Long ago, I taught an introductory knitting class. Inevitably, there would be one or two new knitters who would get frustrated when they had to rip their work out for the third of fourth time.
That’s when I’d let them in on a secret. The only difference between beginning knitters and experienced knitters is that an experienced knitter knows she’s going to be ripping her work out multiple times.
R & D labs are the birthplace of many ideas that don’t pan out.
Evolution has shown us that homo sapiens didn’t spring up in its perfect form on the first mutation.
Who met the love of their life in junior high and never needed to date anyone else? Who still has the first job they ever took? Who is still using those same signature dance moves from way back when?
Which of us is proficient at anything the first time we try?
So why are we so reluctant to value our mistakes? Our shitty first drafts? Why can’t we be more like an R and D lab?
Mistakes are an essential part of an engaged life. A necessity.
No, no one wants to fail publicly. And knowing that we all do from time to time is cold comfort.
But we can learn to be more comfortable with our less-than-flawless efforts.
The first step is to not think everyone else’s efforts are perfect the first time.
They’re not.
The second is to not believe ours should be.
And so whenever I start a writing project, I take the advice of a member of the writers group I was in and I name it Shitty First Draft. It reminds me that I’m not the exception. That to create something of quality, I will have to change things, revise, and edit. Because getting it wrong is part of getting it right.
Your Real Energy Forecast for the Week of January 16, 2022
Get centered and then choose the stack you’re most drawn to.
Stack 1
No Place Like Home, Temperance
Both your home and your skin should be comfortable things to inhabit. Look in through the windows, both literal and figurative. Does your space reflect who you are? Do you like what you see? How about when you look into who you’ve become? If you don’t feel you’re living authentically, get rid of what doesn’t reflect well on you. Clean house.
Stack 2
Imagine, Page of Swords
If you can dream it, you can be it. Spend time daydreaming this week. Mix imagination with emotion. Then write it all down. What does it look like? How does it feel? Imagination becomes belief and belief becomes reality. And until it’s on paper, it’s vapor, so send it up to the Universe in written words.
Stack 3
A Leg Up, 9 of Cups
We cannot find true contentment in isolation. We need time alone, but we also have to align with others. We need help. We need to help. Embrace interdependence and watch the miracles start to happen. Now is the time to accomplish your heart’s desire through the interconnected web of all existence.
This week’s decks are The Wisdom of the Oracle and Modern Love Tarot
Your Word of the Year
Are you ready to choose your word for 2022?
You’ll want a word that challenges you or inspires you or keeps you on track. Maybe all three.
It can be a noun like Comfort, Hope, or Infinity.
Or an adjective such as Delighted, Passionate, or Amazed.
Or you might choose a verb like Enchant, Innovate, or Soar. Maybe even Canoodle!
How do you want to feel?
Or maybe we should start with how you feel right now.
During this limbo time of the year, I tend to feel flat. This year, I also feel isolated and lonely since we didn’t get to see my family again on Christmas due to covid. Yet I also feel grateful and immensely satisfied with where I am in life. Accomplished. Loved. Optimistic.
However you feel in this moment, do you want more or less of that feeling? Would you like to lessen or intensify it? Or go in a completely new direction?
Here are some words to get you started.
| Amazed | Content | Celebrate |
| Proud | Wish | Compassion |
| Romance | Enchantment | Hope |
| Zeal | Friendship | Happy |
| Clear | Flow | Disencumbered |
| Knight | Marvel | Nourished |
| Organized | Poise | Mate |
| Power | Refreshed | Soar |
| Service | Adaptable | Sprouted |
| Travel | Swanky | Trust |
| Validated | Peace | Wonder |
What grabs your attention? What word did you ultimately choose?
My word for 2022 is shine in all its glorious senses. To sparkle. To stand out. To excel. To rise AND shine…
Let me know yours in the comments. I’d love to hear—and to support you!
Tarot Spread for the New Moon in Capricorn 1-2-2022
Wowza! What a great way to start the new year! This new moon is happening right when we’ll want to set our intentions for 2022. You know you want to create your own reality. Let the Universe know your desires, wishes, and dreams and then make your plan to take the steps you need to co-create and manifest them.
Downloads from Spirit
Hold me closer Tony Danza.
Wedding rice makes birds explode.
Want a Hurt’s Donut?
Whether it’s a misheard lyric, an urban legend, or a joke we don’t understand, we can count on the internet to help us understand.
We have access to literally all the information in the world at our fingertips.
Ok, maybe not everything. You won’t find Colonel Sander’s secret blend of eleven herbs and spices, most government records, where you left your keys, or what your next step is. But most everything else is there.
How do we find our next right step?
So often we forget about all the spiritual tools at our fingertips. We can call on our spirit guides. Our angels. Our ancestors who work for our highest good.
When we remember to co-create with Spirit, our next step appears when we’re ready for it.
We all have moments of being in flow. For many of us, it means creative downloads—ideas for books, paintings, songs, and new projects that that come to us complete. For some of us, they happen as we’re working on that something. We’re writing or painting or composing and it’s as if the pen or brush has a mind of its own.
To channel the creative spark, we can meditate. Drop down into the creative well and swim around in its waters. This can be akin to sitting with your eyes closed and trying not to think of a white bear. But as with most things, meditation becomes easier with practice.
We can start our day with an affirmation. “I am clear on where I am headed.” “I always know my next right step.” “New, creative ideas come to me with ease.”
Or we can set an intention as we go to bed. Our dream state is perfect for alignment and creation. Try this for a few nights this week.
Sit on the side of your bed with your feet on the floor. Inhale and exhale deeply a few times. Imagine and feel the green energy from the center of the earth come up through the soles of your feet, into your legs, through your core and your heart center, up into your throat, and finally into your third eye. Then see a white light coming down from the sky in through the top of your head, joining the earth energy in your third eye. This white light contains all the wisdom of the Universe. Your crown chakra filters it so that only the ideas that match your intention come through and mix with the creative energy of the earth. Now set your intention. “It is my intention to receive clarity about…” or “It is my intention to see my next steps to…” or “It is my intention to have a creative solution to…” You can follow that up with “I will easily remember the information that comes to me in a clear and simple way.” And finally, “Tonight’s sleep with restore and energize me.”
Let me know what downloads you receive from Spirit using this exercise. I’d love to hear.
Winter Solstice Card Spread
- What is the nature of my shadow self?
- What can I learn from this shadow?
- What do I need to release?
- What lights me up from within?
- How can I integrate both my shadow and my light?