Use the intense energy of this full moon in Scorpio to transform. Release energy that isn’t aligned with your true self. Acknowledge your shadow side and work with it. Examine any upsets you’re holding onto. Does someone hold a grudge against you? What steps can you take to resolve it? Watch out for people who might try to lure you into doing something you normally wouldn’t. This may be a wild ride.

“I’ll rip the band-aid off on three,” my dad said. “One…” He yanked it off.

“No fair!” I yelled. “You said on three!”

My dad shrugged. “It hurts less when you’re not all tense.”

Do you ever trick yourself into doing something?

I had a website open on my phone for weeks, Boudoir by Joanna. I have no idea where I found it, but I was intrigued.

Hello there, beautiful it calls seductively.

I’ll bet you say that to all the prospective clients, I thought each time I opened my phone’s browser. Until one day a couple of weeks ago when I surprised myself and contacted her before I could stop myself.

I’m not a young woman. I’m not a small woman. I don’t even own sexy lingerie. What the hell was I thinking? What if I looked silly instead of sultry?

Sometimes all it takes is someone else believing in us.

Jo assured me that no matter what size, shape, or age I was, the results would be stunning.

As I drove through rain and construction, wearing only pajamas, no bra, no undies (I didn’t want to get there with elastic grooves in my skin), I was having second thoughts. And cold feet. I was doing so much back-pedaling I was surprised the car was continuing to go forward.

But then my angels sent me some reassurance. I turned on the radio and Santana’s Smooth was just starting. I laughed and told myself, You got this, girl.

Jo helped me unload my car and then led me to the back of her studio. She spent an hour and a half doing my hair and makeup. She even airbrushed the foundation on! I’m sure she could have spent less time, but it gave us a chance to get to know each other. To build the rapport and trust needed for what came next—the photo shoot.

We started off with a sweet photo, me standing in front of a frosted window in a ‘50s style dress and heels. By the end of the day, I was in full boudoir mode.

Jo told me exactly how to pose—where to put my hands, what to do with my face, how to touch my hair. She even saved me from falling off a pair of four-inch heels.

I came away from that day feeling self-assured and powerful. Confident. And, yes, beautiful.

How often do we look in the mirror and only see our flaws? That scar or mole or whatever no one else notices? The laugh lines or that one slightly crooked tooth?

Jo didn’t hide any of my self-perceived flaws, not with makeup, not with photoshop.

What she did was bring out something that was hiding inside me.

This is an experience I highly recommend. For every woman.

Here’s her website again Boudoir by Joanna. Don’t leave it open on your phone for a month. You deserve to see how beautiful you are now.

Hold onto your hat. It happens four times this year and it’s coming up fast—Mercury retrograde.

You’ll hear people say not to sign any contracts, to prepare for miscommunications, and for electronics to go haywire. And while all that can be true, Mercury retrograde isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Mercury doesn’t actually move backwards in the sky. It’s an illusion. Have you ever been on a train that passes another one that’s standing still? The other train looks like it’s going backwards. Mercury retrograde is the same sort of illusion. But illusion or not, the effects are real.

Mercury will station retrograde on May 10^th in the sign of Gemini, an air sign. On May 22nd, it will then continue backwards into Taurus, an earth sign, and stay there until June 3^rd. What this means is that we’ll be given an opportunity to review how we engage with others (Gemini’s influence) and how we feel secure in ourselves (one of Taurus’s specialties).

Here’s what you’ll need in your toolkit.

First, review the areas of your life that are currently teetering on the brink. How’s your bank account? Your love life? Your job? Shore up any weak points. Organize the messes in your life. Add security, figuratively and literally, where needed.

Mercury rules communication, so double check everything before you send it. You don’t need that text (sext?) intended for your honey going to your insurance agent.

Take a second or two before you respond. Keep your phone charged. Backup your computer.

Plan extra time to send emails, especially those with attached files. Don’t wait until the last minute to print important documents.

Leave early for appointments. Have a backup plan if you’ll be traveling. Expect delays.

These don’t have to be bad things. Use a delay to process an old wound. Finish something you started a while ago that’s left undone. Re-examine, renegotiate, or recommit to something.

Both Mercury and Taurus deal with money, so look for ways to save. Are you paying for Apple TV and not using it? Have you had an energy audit of your home recently? Is it time to start buying generic?

The best thing about Mercury’s retrograde periods is that they give us a chance to slow down, review, and revamp. If you know where Mercury resides in your astrological chart, you can take a swan dive in and examine what you’d like to change. If you don’t know, there are many free sites you can use. This is one of my favorites Explore your natal chart now.

If the rug does get pulled out from under you, roll with it. Laugh at the situation and yourself. Acknowledge the prank as if you’re in on it. And know that it’ll be over June 3^rd.

You’ve heard people say It’s like comparing apples and oranges when two things are so different they seem to defy comparison. Not that apples and oranges are so very different. They have a lot in common.

When you get down to it, though, nothing is exactly the same as anything else. Any one apple is unique among apples. And an apple in this moment is different from that same apple a week from now. Or a year from now when it’s compost.

Everything is in a state of flux.

The person who was on your nerves yesterday has changed and is no longer the same person, although he might still be on your nerves.

Think of all the things others have called you or that you have called yourself. Strong. Messy. Beautiful. Demanding. Tantalizing. Smart. Disappointing.

It’s time to shake off the mistaken identities put on us. How?

Down with the verb to be!

I will spare you the linguistic theory but know that a few people have proposed tossing out all forms of be: am, is, are, was, and were. It’s called E-Prime. E for English and Prime for the language variant this creates.

Here’s how it works.

Instead of saying I’m horrible with plants, say The last orchid I was given died.

Rather than I’m such a jerk with my brother say I just treated my bother unkindly.

This works to change our perception of others as well.

Change Stop being a pest, Cass to I’m overwhelmed right now and will answer you when I get a second.

Or change Zeke, you are an obsessive micromanager to Zeke, I need more freedom on this project.

This won’t entirely eliminate the effects of pigeonholing, but it can minimize them by letting us take a step back to observe the behavior. It allows us to save face.

When we slip up, instead of thinking I’m such a failure we can observe that in this one instance I didn’t do as well as I had hoped. Instead of beating ourselves up I run off at the mouth, we can reflect and see that When I got together with Penny, I talked more than she did.

Leaving the past in the past allows us to step into a fresh future. It reminds us that we’re in flux. That we have the opportunity to change. To grow.

Try it. Let me know what you think.

A new moon and a solar eclipse!

Start a new habit. Look for ways to bring more tranquility ad pleasure into your life. Do something artistic.

You’ll be more empathic, so team up with a friend and pull some cards.

I believe in Mary Worth. I believe in Mary Worth. I believe in Mary Worth.

My summer camp bunkmates and I stood around a mirror in the dark cabin and chanted. I believe in Mary Worth.

I had no idea what that meant. Wasn’t Mary Worth the kindly old lady in the comics section? Like a cross between Dear Abby and Miss Marple?

Suddenly, one of the girls let out a scream. Which scared the pants off the rest of us.

“Didn’t you see her?” the screamer asked. “She was right there in the mirror!”

I hadn’t seen anything. It was dark and there wasn’t room for six faces to peer into a hand mirror. But that didn’t keep me from being scared out of my skin.

What the hell had I been thinking?  Just a few years before that, The Ghost and Mr. Chicken had kept me awake for a week. Spooky camp rituals were definitely not for me.

We all love a scary story. The flavor of the scare we enjoy may vary, but there’s something about the other-worldly that piques our interest.

I couldn’t watch The X Files back in the 90s. The episodes about aliens were fine but the ones with psycho killers would have me sleeping with the lights on. And you never knew if you were going to get the paranormal or the butcher until it was too late.

And yet I talk to dead people. That freaks some people out. Hell, pull out a deck of tarot cards and watch people run away.

What we find scary, or which type of horror we enjoy, can reveal our own hidden demons.

Slasher films are geared toward teens and young adults because their brains are still grappling with what’s real and what’s make-believe.

Monster movies often unmask the monsters that lurk within us. We are capable of unspeakable things and confronting that malevolence in a movie helps us. It’s good to recognize the evil parts of ourselves.

Movies where science goes too far offer a window into our collective fears as a society at the time. Godzilla was terrifying in post-World War II Japan. Don’t Look Up addresses our modern fears about climate change.

Of course, at the core of the love of being scared, is our desire to understand death. To conquer our fear of death.

If we can only do that, we can gain more control of our lives.

Right?

So, what scares the pants off you? I’m dying to know.