I promised you that my last two blog posts were going somewhere. And they are.

In the newsletter of November second (here), I talked about how we stalk negativity. We forget we have the power to create something effortless and beautiful. I asked you to keep track of how often you have negative thoughts.

In the newsletter of the ninth (here), I discussed the concept of turning triggers into trailheads. I suggested you note when you felt triggered, as well as how you were feeling and what your mind was telling you. I asked you to listen to those feelings and words with openness and curiosity.

I could write a book on each of those subjects, but here’s the thing: when our default setting is negativity or when we’re feeling triggered, we’re not in the present moment. We’re cut off from our higher self and from Spirit. We should feel our feelings, but with detachment. We should view them from the perspective of our higher self rather than embodying those feelings. It takes some practice, but it’s worth the effort. When we’re in the moment, we can focus on our dreams.

Orville Wright, that American inventor, said, “If we worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true really is true, then there would be little hope for advance.” In other words, man can’t fly, so we’re stuck getting places at a snail’s pace, right? Of course not.

Here’s what you need to do to get what you want.

1. You need to be crystal clear about what it is. Do you send a message to Amazon and tell them to send whatever they want? You do not.
2. You need to set a deadline. I tried an experiment, ignoring step one. I told the Universe it had 48 hours to send me a surprise. Its choice, but it had to be something that was irrefutable proof that Spirit delivers. It didn’t take 10 seconds to receive it*.
3. Focus on those two things: what you want and when you want it. If you need to be somewhere at a certain time, let’s say the airport, you have two things on your mind: where you’re going and when you have to be there. You’re not likely to stop and do something on the way, especially if your airport is O’Hare and you’re dealing with squirrely Chicago drivers. Must. Get. To. Airport.
4. Believe what quantum physics tells us—that what we can’t see with our eyes is more fundamental to life than what we can see. Don’t believe it? Sure you do. Can you see how your phone, your internet, and your streaming services work? Nope. And yet you trust them to be there every time you want to text someone, google something, or binge watch your favorite show.

Now it’s your turn. Ask the Universe (Spirit, God, or the Divine—the name you use is unimportant) to show you something. How about gold stars? Or teddy bears? Or tacos? Or accordions? Choose one thing. Write it down. Give the Universe a 48-hour deadline. Stay present and focused. Now watch the magic happen.

I’m not a fan of the trend of saying something is a “trigger.”

When we frame a situation or someone’s words as a trigger, we’re putting ourselves in victim mode. And being a victim is never a place of empowerment.

Tammy Sollenberger, in her book The One Inside, asks the reader to consider using the word trailhead instead of trigger.

A trailhead is the place where a trail begins. Sometimes there’s a map at the trailhead that shows how long the trail is and the terrain it goes through. You can look at the map, but that doesn’t give you a sense of the wonder you’ll feel when you encounter a waterfall, or a cliff that allows you to see for miles.

You have to take the trail to feel the wonder and even awe.

What really gets up your sleeve? Waiting? Not feeling heard and understood? Watching TV with someone who talks during the show? Can you use the emotions that come up as a trailhead? Be curious. What comes up as you experience waiting, being interrupted, or trying to watch TV? What emotions do you feel? Where do you feel them in your body? What words do you hear in your head?

This is a waste of time. Or, If I never get a chance to talk, I simply won’t talk. Or, How rude!

Be present with that part of you, the part that has strong emotions and has something to say. Don’t send it away. This is an opportunity for growth. This is a way to integrate your shadow parts, your exiled parts.

Last week, I encouraged you to make a note of every time you said or thought that something was difficult. This week, jot down when you feel triggered. What happened? What were you feeling as it happened? What was going on in your mind? Were you able to look at it with openness and curiosity? Maybe you were even able to pinpoint where it originated.

Stick with me. This is all leading somewhere.

I was sitting in a lecture hall with my friend Amelia, waiting for peace troubadour James Twyman to come out and talk. I whispered to Amelia, “Do you see how the auras of the women in front of us are intertwined? They must be close friends.” Amelia shook her head no. She has psychic abilities, but seeing auras isn’t her forte.

An aura is an emanation of light surrounding a living being. It pulses, expands, and contracts. It can change color with emotions and circumstances, but a person will typically radiate one predominant color. I’ve had many people tell me my aura is green.

Since not everyone knows how to see auras (you can learn–it’s not difficult.), not everyone believes they’re real.

But now, maybe the doubters will believe.

Researchers from the University of Calgary and the National Research Council of Canada recently conducted experiments on mice and leaves from two distinct species of plants. They discovered a “biophoton” phenomenon in all three. They glowed. What’s more, the glowing ceased with death.

The study I read was long and science-y, but the upshot was what many people have known about for millennia. We literally glow with health until we don’t.

The scientific and medical communities can use this research to diagnose weaknesses and illnesses in living things. And I hope that one day they learn to use it to see a being’s energetic and emotional health.

I love it when science catches up to the spiritual community.

“Did you hear about the Ebola outbreak?” a dance mom asked me as we sat and watched the girls learn their choreography. This was about eleven years ago, when my granddaughters were competitive dancers. “We could all die,” she added grimly.

Only four cases had been confirmed in the United States, but we were all about to die. None of the people who had contracted it in the US had died, but we had better all Prepare For The Worst.

Why do we stalk negativity?

What do we Google? Disease and disasters. What do we prepare for? Emergencies. (Have you used up all the pandemic-era TP you hoarded yet?) We love to sink our teeth into a juicy calamity.

Let’s look at the flipside.

The opposite of sickness is health. How can you prepare for it? The flipside of lack is abundance. How can you study it? How can you sink your teeth into a juicy happy outcome?

Health, abundance, and happy outcomes are just as real. The negative and the positive are both true. It’s a question of which side you’d prefer to live on.

Most of our thinking comes from what we learned from the moment we were born. We imitated our parents’ mindsets and actions. We tell ourselves life is hard because that’s what we’ve always heard. We spend so much time talking about what doesn’t work and what’s wrong, that we forget that we have the power to create something effortless and wonderful.

This week, keep track of how many times you think and say that something is difficult. That’s all. Just keep a running tally. Later, we’ll work on changing the mindset. But for now, see how deeply ingrained that mindset is.

I’m not a fan of the trend of saying something is a “trigger.”

When we frame a situation or someone’s words as a trigger, we’re putting ourselves in victim mode. And being a victim is never a place of empowerment.

Tammy Sollenberger, in her book The One Inside, asks the reader to consider using the word trailhead instead of trigger.

A trailhead is the place where a trail begins. Sometimes there’s a map at the trailhead that shows how long the trail is and the terrain it goes through. You can look at the map, but that doesn’t give you a sense of the wonder you’ll feel when you encounter a waterfall, or a cliff that allows you to see for miles.

You have to take the trail to feel the wonder and even awe.

What really gets up your sleeve? Waiting? Not feeling heard and understood? Watching TV with someone who talks during the show? Can you use the emotions that come up as a trailhead? Be curious. What comes up as you experience waiting, being interrupted, or trying to watch TV? What emotions do you feel? Where do you feel them in your body? What words do you hear in your head?

This is a waste of time. Or, If I never get a chance to talk, I simply won’t talk. Or, How rude!

Be present with that part of you, the part that has strong emotions and has something to say. Don’t send it away. This is an opportunity for growth. This is a way to integrate your shadow parts, your exiled parts.

Last week, I encouraged you to make a note of every time you said or thought that something was difficult. This week, jot down when you feel triggered. What happened? What were you feeling as it happened? What was going on in your mind? Were you able to look at it with openness and curiosity? Maybe you were even able to pinpoint where it originated.

Stick with me. This is all leading somewhere.

Fall is in full swing. The trees are getting rid of what no longer serves them—their leaves. We can take a cue from them and lean into letting go. It’s time to release some stagnant energy.

The first step is easy. Walk through your home with fresh eyes. Choose three things to donate or give to someone who would use or appreciate them.

Next, find an old notebook. I’m guessing you have more than one that’s only half used. Each day, begin your morning by writing one thing that you are emotionally releasing, that you are letting go of for the day. I release the expectation that I must do what others ask of me. I release feeling inadequate for today. I let go of thinking that today I have to accomplish everything on my to-do list.

Finally, commit to going outside every day to choose something from nature to bring inside. If you have an altar, you can add your item to it. If not, you may wish to start one. Or you can create a centerpiece that you add to each day. The item can be a colorful leaf, a fall blossom like a mum, a New England aster, or a sprig of goldenrod. It might be a rock that catches your eye, a twig, an acorn or a pinecone. The best way to do this is to clear your mind and let the object find you.

These small acts will connect you with the season and will ensure that you commune with nature, however briefly, each day.

As we approach Halloween and the witches’ sabbat Samhain, the veil between the living and the dead thins. We have the opportunity to more easily contact our loved ones who have passed.

Spooky?

It doesn’t have to be. Remember, these are people who loved (and still love) you.

Start off slowly. Ask for a sign that they’re with you. Be specific. Common signs are cardinals and pennies, but you can make the sign something more personally meaningful if you like. I have a friend who asked her mother to send luna moths as her sign. You can say something like, “Dad, show me a dragonfly to let me know you’re with me.”

Then, keep your eyes and ears open. The dragonfly could appear anywhere—on the side of a truck, or on a billboard. You might overhear someone say dragonfly or read it in a book.

Don’t be discouraged if you don’t receive your sign immediately. It’s not uncommon for a spirit to have to figure out how to send what you’re looking for, especially if they’re new to the spirit realm.

Once you see your sign, thank your loved one. They’ll be as thrilled as you are to communicate with you.

Soon, you’ll be seeing butterflies, or rainbows, or whatever more and more frequently.

When you feel you’ve established a firm connection with your loved one, you can ask for answers to questions you may have. Again, this will take time to develop. But those on the other side have access to all the knowledge of the Universe. Ask that the answer to yes/no questions be sent with your sign. When you’re comfortable with that, you can move on to asking for more complicated answers to be sent in the form of vivid dreams.

You are so loved! Let those who have passed show you how much.

We have a lot of milkweed plants where we live, which means we have monarch butterflies. Whenever I see one, I think of transformation and rebirth. I take a moment to reflect on the changes I’d like to make in my life.

What one change would you like to make? Would you start a business? Write a book? Get healthy and fit? Find love?

When you’ve made changes before, how easy were they?

Most of the ones I’ve made were messy. When I’ve moved, I’ve had to deal with all the stuff I’d accumulated. When I started a corporation, I couldn’t believe the amount of red tape involved. And if you’ve had children, you know that from the moment you go into labor until they move out of the house, it’s literally one mess after another.

Is it the mess that’s keeping you from transformation?

Caterpillars don’t have a choice. They are destined to change into butterflies or moths. They don’t slip into a cocoon, don a pair of wings, and then fly off.

Instead, they have to dissolve into a disgusting blob of goo to become butterflies. Every molecule of caterpillar must disappear before it can transform.

Where are you in the process? Are you still a caterpillar? Or have you started, and you now feel like a mess wrapped in blankets? If so, give yourself some shine. You’re on your way! And, just like the butterfly, you need the brief struggle to push your way out because struggle makes you stronger.

Sometimes, if we can recognize that feeling like we’re dissolving means we’re transforming, it’s easier to make it through.

I was at a bar, waiting for my date to arrive, and he was late. I looked at my watch and decided five minutes wasn’t so late; I could wait a little longer. This was before cellphones, so I couldn’t text him to see where he was. Five minutes became ten, which became fifteen. I wasn’t worried that something had happened to him, I was angry that he valued me and my time so little. I decided to wait just a little longer and then I’d leave. Which I did. And I was fuming.

These days, everyone has a cellphone, and I still get angry when someone is late. I’m glad I’m not a worrier, concerned that the person who’s late was in an accident. But I sometimes wish I were the kind of person who said, Oh, that’s just Emma! She always runs a little behind.

How about you? How do you feel when someone cuts you off in traffic or refuses to let you merge? What does the voice in your head say when a server or salesperson is rude to you? How do you react when someone interrupts you or gives you unsolicited advice?

We can’t control other people’s behavior. We can only control how we react to them. And I think we forget that. I know I do, especially in the moment.

From a spiritual perspective, irritation can be an important teacher. It’s impressive when we’re able to remain centered and calm when we’re uncomfortable. It’s easy to be Zen when everything is to our liking, but how often does that happen? There will always be people and circumstances outside our control.

The goal of spiritual growth is not to learn to control our environment. That’s an ego-driven goal. Sure, we can have some say in how our reality unfolds. There are plenty of spiritual tricks for doing just that. But when we choose to react to irritation with detachment, calm, or even compassion, we can see our progress. Mastering our internal reality means we’ve become masters of our lives.

Fortunately, life offers an abundance of opportunities to practice and cultivate patience, tolerance, and acceptance. Which means we have plenty of chances to grow.

“I feel a sore throat or tonsilitis,” I say week after week in my Wednesday Facebook Live. “Someone has fifth chakra issues.”

What the hell does that mean?

It means that someone watching my Live is afraid of speaking up. They worry about being judged. They find it hard to say no or to express their needs. Sometimes it means that they have something that needs to be said, something they’ve been holding onto for a long time.

If you have (or had) chronic strep throat or tonsillitis, or frequently feel like there’s a lump in your throat, or if you carry tension in your neck or jaw, you most likely need to do some work on your fifth chakra. Other signs would be thyroid issues, grinding your teeth or clenching your jaw, or frequent stiff necks. These are your body’s ways of saying it wants to be heard. That it wants you to be heard.

The fifth chakra is located in the throat area. It’s associated with the color blue. When balanced, it allows for honest and confident communication. It governs truth, authenticity, and self-expression.

Fortunately, it’s relatively easy to bring this chakra back into alignment.

The easiest thing to do is sing, especially emotional songs. Find some Adele and belt it out. If there’s a song that makes you cry, sing that.

Chanting is also good. Or even screaming. Try it. Scream for a minute straight every day for a week.

You can journal to get out the unspoken words. Or write letters that you won’t send. Writing will change your thoughts from a swirling cloud that looks like the Tasmanian Devil cartoon, to something linear that is easier to dissect and deal with. Or get a stuffed animal you can put on your car’s dashboard that you can talk things through with when you’re driving alone.

I always recommend working with affirmations. A good one for your fifth chakra is: It’s easy for me to speak my truth. I let my voice me heard. Or It is safe for me to express myself. If your brain tells you you’re a fat liar when you use an affirmation, change it to a question. Why is it so easy for me to speak my truth and let my voice be heard?

And consider coming to the Workshop at Three Waters Reserve in Brodhead, Wisconsin. I’m going to bring my singing bowl and do some sound healing, which is especially powerful for the fifth chakra.