I’m on a Larry Dossey kick. He’s a physician who seeks to bring scientific understanding to spirituality. I can’t get enough of his books. The one I’m reading lately is One Mind. How Our Individual Mind Is Part of a Greater Consciousness and Why It Matters.

One image caught my attention. When we look at a map, the coastlines appear to be solid. There is a crisp distinction between the sea and the shore. But when you’re at the beach, you know this isn’t so. There is water in the sand and sand in the water. It’s a porous boundary.

Our minds need this same sort of porosity. When there are iron curtain-like boundaries, when one part of the mind cannot communicate openly with other parts, it results in separation. This can lead to things like multiple personality disorder.

Similarly, we need the boundaries in society to be more like the shore and less like the iron curtain. Boundaries that are too firm result in world problems. Cultures thrive where there is interconnectivity, communication, and integration.

Unfortunately, we seem to be in the process of establishing increasingly impermeable boundaries. The more video cameras on banks and houses, the more motion detectors, and the more locks we install, the more we separate ourselves from others in the name of security. There are now more guns in the United States than there are citizens. And we wonder why we feel increasingly estranged from one another.

One Mind delves deep into philosophy and spirituality. It’s a heady, excellent read. I can’t possibly sum it up in the 400 words I use here. But the book clearly shows that a Universal Consciousness that unites us all. Studies have shown that this is a reality.

So, how do we begin to break down the barriers that we’ve built up? One simple way is through visual experiences that momentarily fill us with a sense of awe, whether it’s a jaw-dropping sunset or a powerful artwork. These events stun the mind into a blur, creating a delicate attunement or calibration. This then invites in the Divine Mind and influences the individual mind. The individual mind becomes increasingly like the Divine Mind.

This week, get out from behind that locked door and watch the sunset. Go to a museum. If you’re in Las Vegas, see the mind-blowing Postcard from Earth at the Sphere. Break out of a rut or mind-numbing habit. Stun your mind to reconnect with the Divine. 

I pulled the Emperor as my daily card the other day. It’s the card that represents the Divine Masculine, which we all have within us.

Often we (especially women) have trouble connecting to this energy because we don’t want to seem aggressive. We don’t like to come across as powerful. Strong? Sure. Show me a woman who doesn’t consider herself strong (I had a baby without any drugs. I divorced my husband without a lawyer. I sold a house without a realtor. Tell me how you’re similarly fierce because I know you are.). But powerful?

Power is, well, powerful. It’s the misuse of power that should be frightening. And yet, so often we shy away from claiming our power. There is power in financial freedom and yet we’re reluctant to ask for what we’re worth. We can find power in thinking for ourselves and being (graciously) disruptive. What about the power of being persistent, being the (kind but) immovable object when asking for what we want or deserve?

As women, we can find power in the Divine Feminine by being adaptable, flexible, optimistic, and reliable. These are all admirable traits. The key is to find the balance between yin and yang. We have to embrace the Divine Masculine as well.
Here are three steps to get you started. Think or write about the following;

1. Examine your relationships with male authority figures—your father, male bosses you’ve had, etc. Have these figures been supportive and loving? Or have you experienced inequity or even abuse? Examining any wounds will help you uncover unconscious beliefs and biases.
2. Connect with your Inner Father. Not your actual father, but the universal archetype we carry within us. This Inner Father is loving and benevolent, a protector. Start a dialog with him using automatic writing, pulling tarot or oracle cards, or asking and listening as you meditate. In what ways can you father yourself? How can you be the father you needed growing up?
3. Then, connect with your inner warrior. That sounds scary, doesn’t it? Remember, this isn’t about dominating or fighting. It’s about support and protection. It’s about setting boundaries and taking no bullshit. It’s about cutting through lies and seeing clarity.

Remember, neither masculine nor feminine energy is superior. We need both. And we need to awaken both within us to feel whole and balanced.

I’m in the middle of challenging myself to chant for forty days in a row. Every morning, I chant what’s known as Morning Call for eleven minutes. I then meditate for twenty minutes. I start by chanting om six times. Following meditation, I stretch for ten minutes.

We think that spirituality resides in our heads or hearts, but it’s a full-body experience. Chanting should make you vibrate. You should feel each part of om in your body. aaaaOOOOmmmmm. Om is the sound of creation, the Universe’s original vibration. It connects all living things to nature and the Universe.

Meditation connects us with our souls and the Universe. Likewise, stretching (yogic or otherwise) helps us connect to our body, mind and soul. It increases our energy flow and allows the Universe to flow more freely through us.

We should ourselves as a complete package—our body not separate from our soul. We need to take care of each part of ourselves, realizing that the health, strength, and flexibility of one part affects the other parts.

When we’re comfortable in our bodies, we can express ourselves authentically. How we nourish our bodies, minds, and souls directly relates to how we experience life. Our souls shine through us. We remember that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

This week, express your spirituality physically. Do a walking meditation or say your affirmations while you walk in nature. Do some yoga or other stretching. Do some deep breathing or even try tantric breathing (here’s a beginner’s guide). Want to try chanting? Chant along with Kyle Gray here. Or meditate and start by chanting om a few times. Then take a moment to check in and see if you don’t feel more whole and connected.

Years ago, I was with a group of friends watching the Packers play football. One woman kept thanking Jesus every time they scored and praying that they would when they were down. Does the Absolute answer prayers for football victories? I’m sure there were people praying for the other team. Who was God rooting for?

Similarly, when we pray for someone who has a terminal illness to live, can we expect our supplications to be answered? If everyone who was dying lived because of prayers for them, the earth would be overcrowded to the point that there wouldn’t be enough resources for everyone. We’re human. We have to die. That’s part of the contract. We carry a human body around and it’s subject to the laws of nature.

So, how effective is prayer? Scientifically speaking, very. There have been many double-blind studies done studying its success rate. A wound prayed over heals faster than one that isn’t. Plants grow faster with blessed water than with water right out of the tap. There is a strong connection between faith and healing.

But how we pray is as important as taking the time to pray in the fist place.

I should take a moment to say that we don’t need to believe in God to pray. We are all connected. Our healing thoughts suffice. Getting into a prayerful attitude is enough. We don’t have to send our words up to a third party for there to be results.

First, we should take a moment to remember that we don’t know what the best outcome is. As I said, we all have to die at some point. It’s always best to pray for the highest good. Spirit may your will be done. We can pray for understanding and acceptance, both ours and that of others. A prayer of noninterference where we are guided by prayer and compassion is better than trying to tell the Universe what to do.

If you’d like to delve deeper into this topic, I highly recommend Dr. Larry Dossey’s Prayer is Good Medicine. The author talks about the healing potential of prayer, when and how much to pray, and how prayer fits into the medical system. It’s a good read.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about hexes. Since then, I received a newsletter from Gina Spriggs and I attended a seminar with the spiritually gifted Sandra Taylor that have me thinking about this subject quite a bit.

Gina Spriggs owns a store called Curio, Craft & Conjure. She’s in the pro-curse camp. She says life isn’t all love and light. She says we curse people every day when we say Fuck you! if someone cuts us off in traffic or Damn you  or Go to hell for a similar injustice. When we do, we’re expressing our anger and setting boundaries.

Sandra Taylor has a ritual, a spell if you will, that isn’t a curse or hex and yet can shift the negative energy we experience when we’re angry or feeling powerless. It’s called freezing someone’s name.

Who gets your blood boiling every time you think of them? The kid who bullied you in middle school. The friend who betrayed you in high school. The ex-spouse who continues to take you to court. The relative who manages to ruin every holiday. That one neighbor who’s a real asshole. Think of them now. This is the person for whom you need to release the energy of attachment or difficult connection.

To soften or release that energy, write the full name of the person (or organization) at the top of a small piece of paper. Below that, write the full name again followed by is sealed in the light. Now take a whole lemon and make a slit in it. Fold the paper up and put it into the slit in the lemon. Place the lemon in the freezer.

This symbolic gesture works amazingly well to soften or even release the hard energy. Remember, your anger, your grudge, only hurts you.

If, after a couple of weeks, you still feel anger when you think of the person, dispose of the lemon with a ritual (burn it or bury it) and try again with a new lemon.

I love to hear from you, so let me know how it works once you’re tried it.

Instant Karma’s gonna get you, or so John Lennon sang. I’m reluctant to argue with the late Mr. Lennon, but… here goes.

In the 1960s, hundreds of thousands of westerners descended on India looking for magic and mystery. They believed that what was missing from their lives could be found in there and suddenly Eastern philosophies were being marketed to people who longed to be disciples. Much of the centuries-old teachings were changed. Karma Cola, as author Gita Mehta named it in her book of the same name.

So what is karma?

Here’s an analogy. If you and I each encounter a dog, I may see a ferocious animal while you see a friendly companion. Part of this is because we come into this life with our own unique perspectives. Part of it is our experience with dogs. Part of it comes from our imagination.

In the same way, our souls are conditioned by experience, in this life and in past lives. Those experiences influence our memory that then influences our interpretations and choices, creating our perspective. These tiny kernels build up in the individual soul over a lifetime. The combination of memory and imagination based on experience is called karma. Karma accumulates in the personal part of the soul and colors it.

The personal soul governs the conscience and provides a template for the kind of person we each turn out to be. In addition, the actions we take can effect our soul and change our karma, for better or worse.

But there is also a universal, nonlocal part of the soul that is not touched by our actions. It’s connected to a pure and unchanging spirit.

No matter how much of a mess we may have made of our lives, it is always possible to tap into the part of the soul that is universal and change the course of our destiny.

That’s karma in a nutshell—from a Westerner, yes. But I hope you see that karma is more than a what-goes-around-comes-around, quid-pro-quo, action-and-equal-but-opposite-reaction principle.

We can always take advantage of the connection between the personal soul and the universal soul to shape our lives, to co-create our reality now and in the future, both in this life and in lives to come.

Last October, I saw 888 everywhere. That’s the angel number for money and when I see it, I know my spirit team is telling me some money is coming my way. The first week of November two huge checks practically fell out of a clear blue sky, a refund I never hoped to see.

My spirit team is good about letting me know what’s coming up. I’ll see 555 if a positive change is on its way. Or 222 if I need to stay positive because life is unfolding exactly the way it should. Or 999 if something is about to end.

Then I suddenly experienced a loss. After communicating daily for years with a close friend, I was ghosted but hadn’t seen a single 999 anywhere and I railed at my spirit team. What the actual f*@&! Not cool, guys!

A few weeks later, on a British detective show I was watching, one of the characters looked like he was eating a Spam sandwich. I yelled to my husband, “I think dude’s eating a Spam sandwich!” And just to put an exclamation point on the subject, another character in the show said, “You’re eating a Spam sandwich?”

How often does Spam come up? Do you think my spirit team was trying to send me a message? Do you think I was bright enough to put two and two together and look in my email’s spam folder? Me, the one who is always telling people to watch for signs? The one who says to develop a lexicon with your guardians, guides and angels?

Sometimes we’re so attached to our pain that we can’t see the bright neon arrow pointing us to the answer.

When I finally (finally) checked my spam folder, I discovered that I hadn’t been ghosted and I hadn’t suffered a devastating loss after all. So many tears were shed for nothing.

The moral of the story is: pay attention to the synchronicities in your life. They’re not random. They’re not your guides having a laugh at your expense.

Keep following those breadcrumbs. Life is more magical than you believe.

When I was learning to read tarot cards, I offered readings on a site that provides them for free. I thought it would be a good way to get some practice.

But I soon tired of people wondering if their crush was equally crushing on them. Or if their current partner was being unfaithful. Or if their ex was ever coming back.

News flash: The answer is always already inside us. Any oracle we use (like tarot or oracle cards) simply helps to reveal what we already know. It’s providing the validation we seek when we’re unsure.

I pull a card every morning as my anchor for the day. I ask what I need to focus on that day as I shuffle and drop. Lately, I’ve been using Oracle of the 7 Energies.

The Oracle’s Gift has come up a few times lately. What I like about this card is that it speaks to asking for an answer from the Universe. Come on, Spirit, give me a sign! So often we believe that answers have to come from a source outside of us. We don’t always trust our intuition. We don’t think we have the power to see beyond time and space. Maybe we think that the mystical lies outside of us. Or perhaps we don’t trust our own wisdom.

News flash #2: The magic is inside of you. You are as magical as life itself. The mystical is within you and all around you.

If you want to work on spiritual development or do some shadow work, pulling an oracle or tarot card can point you in the right direction. But if you’re wondering if that cute guy has a crush on you, honey, just go ask him out.

 I recently got a new book, Sex Witch. I’ve been wanting to write about it, but I lost it. I never lose anything. Seriously. Was the Universe sending me a message?

But we all know how to find something lost. Buy another one. So I did. And two days later I found the original book.

There are so many good ideas and spells in Sex Witch: how to tap into the Divine Feminine, creating a sigil (a symbol with magical power) for self-confidence, a bedroom blessing… There are also some wild ideas like how to consecrate sex toys, a spell to unleash your kinks, harnessing the power of the orgasm… I was having a difficult time choosing what to write about.

I decided to do some bibliomancy. I set my intention and opened the book. The first thing I saw was Hex Your Rapist. On the facing page was Balance Karma. Oh, my. No.

Do hexes work? Yes. Do I want to take on that energy, the energy of anger and revenge? Never. Even the spell to balance karma was to speed up the negative payback on someone else.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t be angry. If rage bubbles up, go ahead and seethe with fury. But use it to empower you, not to harm someone who harmed you. When you’re ready, send all their negative, hurtful energy back to them with light and love. Let the Universe deal with balancing karma.

There is a time for anger. There is a time for sobbing over the loser who broke your heart. And then there is a time for feeling beautiful and glamorous and knowing you are worth so much more. Here’s a Sex Witch’s suggestion for Boldness During a Breakup.

Make a playlist of your favorite songs and name it I’m Too Good for You. Listen to it while you do your hair and makeup so that you feel insanely hot, because after all, you are insanely hot. Write HOT BITCH on the mirror. The go forth, party, and get some! If your ex sees you, excellent. If your new lover sees the message on your mirror, even better.

I went out to run errands the other day. When I got to my first stop, I realized I had on two different shoes. One was soft black leather. The other was bright red patent leather.

Have you ever had that dream where you show up naked for school or work? What does Dream You do? Hide? Run for cover? Wrap a towel around yourself? Years ago, Dream Toni decided she was going to go with it. She adopted a this-is-exactly-how-I-wanted-to-look attitude. Could I do that in real life when it was only mismatched shoes? How much do I care what other people think of me?

Many of us, especially as we get older, say that we don’t care what others think of us. But if we’re honest, we probably do more than we let on.

We find it difficult to say no, especially if we don’t have a reason we think others will accept. Is wanting to stay home and watch the Bachelor a good enough excuse to not go to that Tupperware party all your gossipy neighbors will attend? Can you say no when a friend asks you to feed their cat because you don’t want to?
Of course you can. Will you? That depends on how much you care about what they’ll think.

I sat in my car outside the UPS store and considered my options. I could go home and change my shoes. Or I could finish my errands with a confidence that said two different shoes was the latest style. Remember when Lady Di started the trend of wearing two wristwatches? Or, if asked, I could admit that I’d absentmindedly stuck my feet into a dark closet.

I decided to go with the mismatched shoes. I’m pretty sure no one noticed. We’re typically too wrapped up in our own heads to notice what strangers have on. And if we do notice, do we care? And if we do care, is it a big deal?

Being authentic means caring what we think of ourselves. It means caring for ourselves. Watch your favorite show rather than do something that doesn’t interest you. Say no to cat-sitting because that’s not how you want to spend your time. Admit your mistakes, knowing that we’re all human and we all make them.

Be unapologetically you, flaws and all.