Having trouble with your electronics? Travel plans falling through? Communication hijinks beyond your control? Mercury has stationed retrograde again.

If it feels like Mercury is retrograde half the time, you’re not far off. With the pre- and post-shadows added to the three or four times a year Mercury isn’t direct (the opposite of retrograde. For more on what that means, click here), it adds up to close to six months. Which turns out to be half of our lives.

And, to add to the fun, this retrograde could feel even more chaotic than usual. On April 21^st, when this phase started, Mercury was right next to Uranus, the planet of surprises and disruptions. It’s also happening during eclipse season, which tends to shake things up.

So, expect the usual shenanigans, but look to how you can use this retrograde energy as well. While Mercury appears to be going back over ground it’s covered, so should we.

• Pick up an old to-do list and finish anything that’s not crossed off.
• Revisit a dream or goal you left by the wayside.
• Question anything that’s not working in your life. What needs to change?
• Look at the limiting beliefs you hold. Break through patterns that are keeping you stuck.
• Do some shadow work such as asking what parts of yourself do you not like or keep hidden? And how can you integrate them?

Mercury will continue its retrograde path until May 14^th. Its shadow will influence us for another week or so after it stations direct. Until then, slow down. Allow extra travel time, reread your email and texts before hitting send, and watch for technical glitches.

But, most importantly, remember that this can be a period of reflection and course correction.

Let’s say you have a class reunion to go to…

Ok, let’s say I have a class reunion to go to. How do I want to look and feel going into that roomful of former classmates? Do I want to turn heads in the best possible way? You bet I do. Can I use that to motivate me to lose weight? Probably not. Sure, I can be vain. Yes, I’d like to cruise into that room with a body that’s at least reminiscent of my teenage self. But I’ve been to three high school class reunions already and my weight never budged knowing I’d be seeing old friends.

What provides us with motivation to accomplish something is deeply personal. Virtuous reasoning rarely works. That is, for example, looking at a BMI chart and seeing where some experts say we should be.

I recently lost about 35 pounds. My motivator was pain. Sitting on the couch crying because the bursitis was unbearable was a powerful inspiration. I didn’t change the way I ate to lose weight as much as I did to see if I could eliminate the constant agony. And what do you know—I lost weight in the process.

What’s a goal you have? What would you like to accomplish? Invent something better than sliced bread (or better than cold canned beer, as a friend of mine used to say)? Create the next Mona Lisa or be the next Banksy? Lose 20 pounds? Make a pile of money? Run a marathon?

The first step is to identify that goal. The second is to ask yourself why. For fame? Influence or power? Vanity? Legacy? Health? This is where you’ll need to be brutally honest. Dig deep.

Is it okay to do something out of vanity or a desire for influence or power? You betcha. Your emotions are your emotions, and they are what will spur you on to the finish line. You don’t have to reveal your motivation to anyone but yourself. It’s your unique secret superpower.

We all have our quirks. We may as well put them to use.

If feeling vain or whatever makes you uncomfortable, you can add some altruistic motivation. Who else benefits from your goal? My being pain-free (and losing weight) will allow me to run around with my grandchildren. Being the next Leonardo can put you in the spotlight and allow you to talk about causes that are important to you. Making a pile of money can allow you to be a philanthropist.

Once you find your real motivation, don’t just think about it. Write it down. Put it somewhere you can see it. Review it periodically to make sure your reasoning resonates. If it no longer does, rethink it. Reinvent it.

Then reinvent yourself into everything you ever dreamed of.

If there were an expiration date stamped on the bottom of your right foot, would you look? Would you want to know when you’re going to die?

It doesn’t take a psychic to predict that no one reading this is going to live forever. At some point, your life is going to come to an end.

For some, it comes too soon. Others live to be one hundred or even older. We never know which we’re going to be.

Do you prioritize, plan, and make the most of your time? Or do you live as if you didn’t have an expiration date?

The truth is, we’re wired to not think about our end (if you’d like to explore this further, check out The Worm at the Core by Tom Pyszczynski, Jeff Greenberg, and Sheldon Solomon. They call this terror management theory). Our internal systems have been built with self-preservation in mind and the thought that we don’t make it out of this alive terrifies us.

But instead of being terrified by death, what if we embrace it?

Was there a time you should have died?

For me, yes, at least one. There was the time I was in the passenger seat of a car driving on icy and snowy roads in Minnesota. I fell asleep and woke up to find myself inches away from a metal post on the median. The car had slid off the highway and spun around a few times. I had been about twelve inches away from death.

Incidents like this gave my life more purpose and urgency. I don’t like to postpone anything. I jump into things with both feet.

The next time I’m floating above my body, I don’t want to feel I’ve left anything undone. I want no regrets. No might-have-beens.

What are you putting off, waiting for all the stars to align? Learning to speak Italian? Going to Italy until you’ve learned Italian? Love? Grad School? Buying sexy lingerie? Opening that $200 bottle of wine in your basement?

All those fun things can peacefully coexist with life’s responsibilities. Don’t wait for Death to pencil you in on his calendar because at that point it’ll be too late.

Life is time-bound. Experience life now while you have the chance.

I love going to the Kohler Waters Spa. The Stillness Bath is pure tranquility. I don’t worry about what time it is. I don’t worry at all. I go there as often as I can afford to, which is not as often as I would like.

When was the last time you were so absorbed in an activity that you lost track of time, maybe lost track of where you were, or even entered a different reality?

This can happen when we’re engaged in an extremely pleasurable activity, doing something we love, or having fun. It could be working on a project or hobby you enjoy, or giving yourself an indulgent treat because you soldiered through your colonoscopy or mammogram.

However it happens, it can be extremely beneficial. We are taken out of ourselves. We stop judging ourselves harshly. It takes us off the path that leads to tension and burnout. Instead, we’re rerouted to a path of rejuvenation where we have the strength to take on whatever our next big challenge might be.

We all need healthy, temporary escapes from time to time.

The key here is that they should be both healthy and temporary. We all feel better when we laugh at a few jokes. We can also feel better if we have a drink or two or binge on chocolate. But they’re all forms of escape. Spending time with family, friends, or in nature will enrich our lives. Drinking and overeating can result in feelings of emptiness and regret (not to mention nausea). My spa habit would threaten our mortgage if I indulged as often as I’d like.

What’s important is our motivation. Why are we looking to transcend the real world? Yes, we’re looking to foster positive emotions, but why?

When you examine your motivation for escaping, ask

1. Is my escape contributing to my long-term well-being?
2. Am I running toward something? Or am I running from something?

Things we might run toward include enrichment or self-development. Things we might run away from are negative thoughts, worries, and daily stressors.

In the end, we want to feel expansive rather than suppressive. 

As a wise man (named Ice Cube) once said, “Check yourself, before you wreck yourself.”

Last week, after I wrote about reminiscing, I sent the photo of me, my husband Chris, and our friend Dan on the boat in Turkey to both Chris and Dan. I feel I tripled my happiness because they also enjoyed reminiscing. Here’s what Dan wrote:

“Wow! It certainly was one of my best days too! Friends I’ve known and loved for years came halfway around the world to celebrate (and officiate!) our daughter’s wedding with us. That boat trip was amazing!”

I’m curious—did you try it? How did you feel? Do you think it’s a practice you could keep up? Something you might put on your calendar to do once a week until it becomes a habit?

Here’s another idea, one that’s for more visual people: curate the past. That’s just a fancy way of saying make a holiday jar or a small treasure chest or a scrapbook or photo album.

The idea is to make it manageable so that it brings to mind happy memories rather than making you feel you really should clear out the basement.

This can be tough, especially if you’re a saver (dare I say packrat?) A lanyard from an exciting conference can remind you of your professional successes. Every lanyard from every conference you’ve ever gone to is overkill.

When you go somewhere, collect a few small items during the trip, like a stone, a seashell, a postcard, and the hotel key. Put them in a small jar and place it somewhere you can see it.

You may have a wedding album, but any event can be worthy of small photo album. You can use a service like Shutterfly, or you can print them and create the album yourself.

If you like to draw, make a sketch book of a memorable time. Or, if you like to write, record vignettes and keep them in a binder or folder, somewhere you can pull them out and review them with ease.

Of course, if there’s something that lights you up, you can do more than simply save it in the basement or attic. Surround yourself with those activities artifacts. Put them out on display. Frame and decorate a wall with record albums from your favorite concerts, for example.

Here’s the secret sauce: Acknowledge any elements of your reminisce that were not fun. Were there challenging moments? How did they make you feel? Including what was not fun serves two purposes. It provides a backdrop to further appreciate the good times, and it provides valuable feedback about perhaps what not to do next time.

In Istanbul, after the boat ride, Chris and I took public transportation back to our hotel. Or we tried to. We got off at the wrong stop. And couldn’t find a taxi willing to drive into the bazaar, which was where we were staying. We had our phones, but spotty cell service. I get panicky when I’m lost. Next time I’m in a country where I don’t speak the language, I’ll bring a paper map.

But even with that hiccup, it was still the best day of my life.

Things I’m grateful for everyday are a comfortable bed, hot water with excellent pressure, and an attached garage. I’ve said all this before.

I’ve also advocated for keeping a gratitude journal where every day you write four things you are grateful for and one you will be when the Universe delivers it.

But a study* has shown that keeping a daily gratitude journal has diminishing returns. As we try to come up with something new every day, we start to wonder if we truly do have all that much to be grateful for. The study showed that writing in that journal once a week was the sweet spot.

Get ready—it’s time for a new gratitude practice, one that is like gratitude on steroids.

It’s reminiscing.

When we remember things that stirred feelings of fun or love or satisfaction or joy, we are reminded that fun and love and satisfaction and joy are abundant. Reminiscing in this way diminishes feelings of regret and deprivation by giving us a prompt to appreciate life’s pleasurable experiences. The habit of acknowledging the pleasure in our lives increases our overall sense of gratitude and amplifies the positive aspects of our lives.

The once-a-day habit of searching for things to be grateful for can lead to dwelling on the gap between our lives and happiness. Reminiscing is action-oriented. We are once again evoking the emotions we experienced the first time around. And as we remember that we made these wonderful things happen, it gives us the desire and the agency to create new experiences that will evoke similar emotions.

We become super-manifestors of fun, love, satisfaction and joy!

Take a moment right now to remember a fun day. For me, it was laughing, eating and drinking on a boat in Turkey with two people I love and three new people who were both intelligent and hilarious. I re-experience the feelings of happiness and belonging just thinking about that day.

Or how about a time you felt truly loved by a friend, lover, or partner? Or a time you experienced great satisfaction with something you worked hard on?

You see? Easy, right? You can start writing about it by replying to this email and telling me what one of your peak experiences was.

*Sonja Lyubomirsky, Department of Psychology, University of California, Riverside

Have you read Fight Club? I did not see the plot twist coming. How did the author fool me like that? I felt the same way about Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier. I stayed up until after 2:00 a.m. to see how it turned out and I was so surprised, I couldn’t get to sleep after I put the book down.

Alexandre Mandryka, a video game designer who has created twenty-four video games that have sold over fifty million copies, knows fun. He said, “Fun is the desired exploration of uncertainty.” We love the anticipation of not knowing what’s about to happen. Roller coasters, haunted houses, a good movie or book, we love mystery and magic.

If your days are feeling flat, try thinking in more creative terms.

My washing machine sings a tune by Schubert called Die Forelle, or The Trout, when its cycle is finished. Laundry is a little more fun because of it.

Waiting for the kettle to boil can be boring, but what if you got a little bird that sings to put on the spout? (Check Amazon. They’re by Alessi).

You may have seen this meme:

If your life lacks a dramatic flair, it’s up to you to add some. It’s in your power to invent an arc that keeps you interested in your own story.

When I take my daily walk, I imagine myself in a flowing green gown. An imaginary jeweled tiara is in my hair, and I’m carrying my conjuring cup. What’s my one wild wish? What do I want to conjure today? Money? Love? Peace of mind? Health? I put it into the cup and carry it with me waiting for it to pop out like the fish on the Page of Cups card.

Here’s a list from the author of The Fun Habit, Mike Rucker:
Seek out activities that

• Help you leave behind inhibitions
• Leave you feeling at one with the environment
• Give you a sense of completion
• Allow for artistic expression and free-range creativity
• Make you feel powerful and/or unique

Skydiving and falling in love fit those parameters, but if you wait for big experiences you’re missing the chance to have fun every hour of every day.

Go ahead, allow more fun into your life starting today!

Here’s a quick introduction to some of the archangels. You can call on them in times of special need or invite one or two in each morning to help you through your day. There’s a short how-to at the end.

Raziel has a magical book that contains universal wisdom. His name means “the secrets of God” but he’s more than happy to share. He appears in rainbow colors. Call on him when you’d like to receive spiritual insight or if you need a creative idea.

Sandalphon carries our prayers to the eternally-loving Universe. He shines with turquoise light. He will help you enrich your inner world. He can also lead you to others who are similarly seeking enrichment.

Metatron’s colors are green and violet or sometimes dark pink. He can expand time. Call on him when you’re running late. He can also recharge your batteries when you need more oomph to accomplish your goals. He especially watches over young people.

Haniel is known for her feminine energy, psychic gifts, and intuition. Haniel’s color is light blue. Her name means “the grace of God.” Call on her when you’d like heightened intuition. She can also help with feminine issues.

Gabriel’s specialty is communication which is why you see her so often with a trumpet. Her name means “the strength of God.” She appears in a copper-colored light. Need a call to action? Call Archangel Gabriel.

Note: Angels aren’t male or female since they are spiritual, not human, entities. If you’re more comfortable seeing Gabriel as male or Sandalphon as female, go for it.

Raguel is who you want by your side if you find yourself in a challenging situation with someone else. He will soften the energy and bring about compromise and reconciliation. His color is light blue.

Michael is who you need when you want strength or want to make big changes. His color is dark blue. His name means “who is like God?”

Ariel is the lioness of God. She is associated with nature and animals, so if you have environmental concerns or a sick pet, she’s your go-to angel. She can also manifest the material needs of those who call on her. Her color is pale pink.

Azrael comes through with a creamy white light when you need comfort and someone to walk with you during a challenging time. His name means “Whom God helps.” See him with his arms outstretched to embrace you.

Chamuel’s name means “he who sees God” and there is nothing beyond his vision. Lost something? He knows where it is. Looking for a new friend, career, or better understanding of a situation? See his pale green color enveloping you as you call his name.

Jophiel’s color is dark pink and she can help you remember how beautiful life can be. Ask her for a positive outlook. Her name means “God is my beauty.”

Uriel’s name means “light of God” and his color is golden yellow. Do you need an epiphany? He brings great insight. He can also help you with emotional healing.

Here’s an example of how to work with multiple archangels. Let’s say your heart has been broken. You can say, “Azrael please bring me comfort, Michael give me the strength to go on, Jophiel to help me remember that life can be sweet and beautiful, and Chamuel to help me find someone much better who will love me as I am.”