A Radical New Gratitude Practice

Things I’m grateful for everyday are a comfortable bed, hot water with excellent pressure, and an attached garage. I’ve said all this before.

I’ve also advocated for keeping a gratitude journal where every day you write four things you are grateful for and one you will be when the Universe delivers it.

But a study* has shown that keeping a daily gratitude journal has diminishing returns. As we try to come up with something new every day, we start to wonder if we truly do have all that much to be grateful for. The study showed that writing in that journal once a week was the sweet spot.

Get ready—it’s time for a new gratitude practice, one that is like gratitude on steroids.

It’s reminiscing.

When we remember things that stirred feelings of fun or love or satisfaction or joy, we are reminded that fun and love and satisfaction and joy are abundant. Reminiscing in this way diminishes feelings of regret and deprivation by giving us a prompt to appreciate life’s pleasurable experiences. The habit of acknowledging the pleasure in our lives increases our overall sense of gratitude and amplifies the positive aspects of our lives.

The once-a-day habit of searching for things to be grateful for can lead to dwelling on the gap between our lives and happiness. Reminiscing is action-oriented. We are once again evoking the emotions we experienced the first time around. And as we remember that we made these wonderful things happen, it gives us the desire and the agency to create new experiences that will evoke similar emotions.

We become super-manifestors of fun, love, satisfaction and joy!

Take a moment right now to remember a fun day. For me, it was laughing, eating and drinking on a boat in Turkey with two people I love and three new people who were both intelligent and hilarious. I re-experience the feelings of happiness and belonging just thinking about that day.

Or how about a time you felt truly loved by a friend, lover, or partner? Or a time you experienced great satisfaction with something you worked hard on?

You see? Easy, right? You can start writing about it by replying to this email and telling me what one of your peak experiences was.

*Sonja Lyubomirsky, Department of Psychology, University of California, Riverside

Are You Having Fun?

Have you read Fight Club? I did not see the plot twist coming. How did the author fool me like that? I felt the same way about Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier. I stayed up until after 2:00 a.m. to see how it turned out and I was so surprised, I couldn’t get to sleep after I put the book down.

Alexandre Mandryka, a video game designer who has created twenty-four video games that have sold over fifty million copies, knows fun. He said, “Fun is the desired exploration of uncertainty.” We love the anticipation of not knowing what’s about to happen. Roller coasters, haunted houses, a good movie or book, we love mystery and magic.

If your days are feeling flat, try thinking in more creative terms.

My washing machine sings a tune by Schubert called Die Forelle, or The Trout, when its cycle is finished. Laundry is a little more fun because of it.

Waiting for the kettle to boil can be boring, but what if you got a little bird that sings to put on the spout? (Check Amazon. They’re by Alessi).

You may have seen this meme:

If your life lacks a dramatic flair, it’s up to you to add some. It’s in your power to invent an arc that keeps you interested in your own story.

When I take my daily walk, I imagine myself in a flowing green gown. An imaginary jeweled tiara is in my hair, and I’m carrying my conjuring cup. What’s my one wild wish? What do I want to conjure today? Money? Love? Peace of mind? Health? I put it into the cup and carry it with me waiting for it to pop out like the fish on the Page of Cups card.

Here’s a list from the author of The Fun Habit, Mike Rucker:
Seek out activities that

  • Help you leave behind inhibitions
  • Leave you feeling at one with the environment
  • Give you a sense of completion
  • Allow for artistic expression and free-range creativity
  • Make you feel powerful and/or unique

Skydiving and falling in love fit those parameters, but if you wait for big experiences you’re missing the chance to have fun every hour of every day.

Go ahead, allow more fun into your life starting today!

The Archangels and how to work with them

Here’s a quick introduction to some of the archangels. You can call on them in times of special need or invite one or two in each morning to help you through your day. There’s a short how-to at the end.

Raziel has a magical book that contains universal wisdom. His name means “the secrets of God” but he’s more than happy to share. He appears in rainbow colors. Call on him when you’d like to receive spiritual insight or if you need a creative idea.

Sandalphon carries our prayers to the eternally-loving Universe. He shines with turquoise light. He will help you enrich your inner world. He can also lead you to others who are similarly seeking enrichment.

Metatron’s colors are green and violet or sometimes dark pink. He can expand time. Call on him when you’re running late. He can also recharge your batteries when you need more oomph to accomplish your goals. He especially watches over young people.

Haniel is known for her feminine energy, psychic gifts, and intuition. Haniel’s color is light blue. Her name means “the grace of God.” Call on her when you’d like heightened intuition. She can also help with feminine issues.

Gabriel’s specialty is communication which is why you see her so often with a trumpet. Her name means “the strength of God.” She appears in a copper-colored light. Need a call to action? Call Archangel Gabriel.

Note: Angels aren’t male or female since they are spiritual, not human, entities. If you’re more comfortable seeing Gabriel as male or Sandalphon as female, go for it.

Raguel is who you want by your side if you find yourself in a challenging situation with someone else. He will soften the energy and bring about compromise and reconciliation. His color is light blue.

Michael is who you need when you want strength or want to make big changes. His color is dark blue. His name means “who is like God?”

Ariel is the lioness of God. She is associated with nature and animals, so if you have environmental concerns or a sick pet, she’s your go-to angel. She can also manifest the material needs of those who call on her. Her color is pale pink.

Azrael comes through with a creamy white light when you need comfort and someone to walk with you during a challenging time. His name means “Whom God helps.” See him with his arms outstretched to embrace you.

Chamuel’s name means “he who sees God” and there is nothing beyond his vision. Lost something? He knows where it is. Looking for a new friend, career, or better understanding of a situation? See his pale green color enveloping you as you call his name.

Jophiel’s color is dark pink and she can help you remember how beautiful life can be. Ask her for a positive outlook. Her name means “God is my beauty.”

Uriel’s name means “light of God” and his color is golden yellow. Do you need an epiphany? He brings great insight. He can also help you with emotional healing.

Here’s an example of how to work with multiple archangels. Let’s say your heart has been broken. You can say, “Azrael please bring me comfort, Michael give me the strength to go on, Jophiel to help me remember that life can be sweet and beautiful, and Chamuel to help me find someone much better who will love me as I am.”

Saint Tony

“If it is a good morning, which I doubt,” said Eeyore, the perpetual pessimist. He also said, “Sure is a cheerful color. I guess I’ll have to get used to it.”

Here we are in the dreary part of winter in the upper Midwest. There’s little or no snow to cheer up the landscape, just brown lawns and bare trees.

When I start feeling like Eeyore, it’s time to switch gears and channel my inner Anthony Bourdain.

Tony Bourdain was known for being almost larger than life.

He was a gourmand, a chef and connoisseur of good food, but he knew that “good food” was in the eye of the beholder. Or palate. In an interview with Food & Wine, he said, “Look, I travel around the world asking people, “What makes you happy, what do you eat and what would you like your kids to eat ten years from now?” Fermented shark, goose intestines, cobra heart, stomach bile soup, and even Frito pie, he dug in with both curiosity and gusto.

He enjoyed almost everything in an over-the-top way. There was no place he wouldn’t travel. On his various TV shows, we watched him get drunk on the local hooch week after week. Besides being a TV personality, he was a three-star Michelin chef, an author, and probably the coolest person I ever met.

So if you’re feeling like you can’t sign on for another dreary day, pray to St. Tony.

O wild and bold Saint Tony, whose heart was ever full of zeal and a voracious appetite for whatever life was serving, bring me revelry and festivity. Show me my unbridled nature and renew my zest for life. The gratitude of my heart will be yours. Amen.

Make some plans this week to let yourself go. Indulge all of your senses. Arrange for a sunny vacation. Get together with your wildest friend. Plan a decadent meal. Let the champagne flow. Have crazy-good sex. Turn on your favorite music, loud, and dance.

As Tony said, Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.

goOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Tony and Toni about a zillion years ago

Working with Archangel Raphael

“Your aura is green,” my guru told me when I was twelve.

Is it a surprise that I had a guru when I was that young? Or does it sound like me?

Emerald green is the color of healing. You don’t need to have a green aura to harness its power. Call on Archangel Raphael.

Raphael is the doctor of the angelic world. He can heal your body of any illness, disease, or condition, so that you can do the things you want to do in life.

You can also call on him when someone you know needs healing from anything from a slight cold to a major illness. You can even ask for healing from something you don’t know about.

Envision his light around you and say, “Archangel Raphael, be with me now. Surround me with your beautiful green light. Heal me of all physical challenges, whether I am aware of them or not, so that I am fully whole and experiencing vibrant health.”

Raphael is also the match-making archangel. He watches over those who need a soulmate. You might be looking for a close friend, a love interest , or a business partner. Raphael can help you make the perfect connection.

Saint Zsa Zsa

image from Amazon

“Now that will get me in touch with my inner Gabor sister!”

I was scrolling through formal dresses on Amazon this week and came across this number.

I found it–the perfect dress, Well, the perfect dress to make my daughter cringe, anyway. I sent her the link.

“Mom, no.” she said, horrified.

My daughter is getting married in July. I know I’ll find the right dress. This isn’t it. but it would be a fun one to own for when I’m feeling frumpy.

I know I said I’d be writing about archangels this month, and I will. But what we need right now is Archangel Zsa Zsa. Or maybe Saint Zsa Zsa, patron saint of beautiful, charming, sexy women. Call on her when you’re feeling unattractive or when your libido is low.

Why do so many of us feel like no one finds us appealing? How can we channel our inner Saint Zsa Zsa?

There is nothing sexier than confidence (unless it’s being relaxed because of that confidence). Here are some affirmations to work with.

  • I love and respect my body.
  • I’m relaxed and happy with who I am.
  • I exude confidence.

Here are some that are a little bolder.

  • I am sexy and attractive just the way I am. I know it and so do others.
  • I deserve love and affection.
  • People notice me when I enter a room. They want to get to know me.

Want some even spicier affirmations?

  • I am irresistible.
  • I am grateful for my body and the sexual pleasure it experiences.
  • My sex life is amazing and satisfying.
  • I am a sexual goddess/god.
  • I’m sexy and I know it!

Work it, honey!

Working with the Archangels

Michael, Haniel, Gabriel, Uriel, Raguel—so many archangels to choose from.

In addition to working with your angels, your personal guardians, we can also tap into the power of the archangels.

These beings of light are not limited by time and space. Their healing energy is never exhausted. All we have to do is request their presence and poof! They’re with us.

I can feel it when they appear. Maybe you can, too. Try it.

Sit quietly and ask Archangel Michael to join you (“Archangel Michael, be with me now”) and then pay attention to your body. Did your ears pop? Did you get chills or goosebumps? Did you feel like someone else was in the room with you? Did you sense one of his colors, which are dark blue and gold?

Even if you don’t sense anything, he’s with you.

Archangel Michael is strong and protective. He helps us to feel safe and secure. His name means he who is like God. He carries a sword to create fairness and maintain justice.

Call on Archangel Michael if you:

  • need an extra dose of courage or strength
  • feel you, a loved one, or something valuable to you could use protection
  • want to activate the parts of your mind that are about structure and logic
  • would benefit from an energetic cord cutting*

Although these archangels come from Christian religious traditions, you don’t have to identify as a Christian to call on them.

I’ll be covering other archangels in the next few newsletters so you’ll know who does what. But this week, give Archangel Michael a whirl.

* cord cutting helps to recover energy that has been lost and to re-establish healthy energetic boundaries

Is Home Somewhere You’ve Never Been?

Is there a place you’re drawn to? Somewhere you feel you belong? Have you been there or is its call to you a mystery?

New England is that place for me. I have no idea why I feel so connected to it. I mean, I assume I lived there in a past life or two, but, well, let me give you some examples of what I’m talking about.

I once went to Framingham, Massachusetts, for some training. I instantly knew my way around. This was astounding because I can get lost going around the block.

I visited a friend in New Haven, Connecticut, and felt my soul had been torn out of me when I left. I sobbed for days.

As a college freshman, I wrote a poem that ended:
Take me home
I’ve never been there
Boston.

Just as there are people we are immediately drawn to, individuals who we meet for the first time and instantly know, there are places we feel inordinately attached to.

In some of our lifetimes, we choose to reconnect with people in our soul group. In others, we have new lessons to learn. And so it is with places. For all the times I could have gone to Boston, none of them panned out. The closest I’ve gotten is the airport as I made my way to New Hampshire. Just landing I got teary. Maybe in my next life I’ll be ready to go back. We’ll see what my soul has to say about that.

If you’ve had a similar experience, I’d love to hear about it.

And you might want to try a past-life regression or a look into the Akashic records*. These can be illuminating experiences that help us to better see what we came here to do this time around.

*The Akashic records are the collection all universal events, thoughts, words, emotions, and intent to ever have occurred in the past, present, or future. Like past-life regression, they can be opened for viewing through meditation alone or with the help of an experienced guide.

Another resolution bites the dust

For 2023, I resolved to bring more humor to this newsletter. Why am I so serious all the time?

Then I started reading a book recommended to me by a client. The book is The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté. I was barely twenty pages in when I read this:

“Someone without the marks of trauma would be an outlier in our society.” And “Where do we fit on the broad and surprisingly inclusive trauma spectrum?”

My energy clearing practice has brought many people to me. One day, I expressed to a friend my surprise at how each of them had survived some form of trauma.

“They’re drawn to you,” was his response. I figured maybe he was right. I have been given the gift of being able to help others heal and Spirit leads the right people to me. But now I see that we have all experienced trauma.

As Gabor Maté writes, it is a spectrum. Mr. Maté himself was born in Hungary during the Nazi occupation and was separated from his mother as an infant. That’s one end of the spectrum. But the other end is no walk in the park. It’s still trauma.

There are wounds that do not mend on their own. They either remain raw or they become covered with a thick layer of (emotional) scar tissue. Either way, unresolved trauma constricts us physically and psychologically, usually in ways we don’t even realize.

Fortunately, through energy healing, trauma can be cleared without our having to work through it. It can be released so that we are no longer stuck in the past, limiting who we can become. We are no longer fragmented. We can grow to our full potential. We are allowed to flourish.

When I do an energy clearing and I encounter the psychic shock of trauma, I tell the person I’m working with to go to their happy place while I clear. It’s so much easier than traditional talk therapy. There’s no need to relive whatever happened. It may not be released in a single session, but with each clearing, there is a feeling of lightness and peace. Whatever hurtful and overwhelming events you have survived can be cleared. Perhaps this is the year to give yourself that gift.

Yule

However you celebrate the Yule season,
I hope it is bringing you happiness.

This is a time of darkness, a time to be quiet and to pause (while instead we’re bringing the bustle). It is a time to remember that most people are good (even when family is driving us bananas). It is a time to reflect (even when we feel we don’t have a second to spare).

I will be carving out a few moments to celebrate having all of you in my life. I have learned so much this past year from you, mostly about compassion and what it means to be fully human (even after we’ve passed on).

Thank you for joining me on this past journey around the sun, whether you’ve had a private session with me, attended one of my Facebook Lives, or read this newsletter from time to time.

Your presence has touched me and enriched me spiritually. It has been a genuine honor to get to know you better. 

With heart-felt love,

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