If you could be any animal, what would it be? A bright cardinal gliding on the breeze? A dolphin collaborating with its pod mates? An elephant breaking down barriers?

Some days, I’d rather be an animal because their nervous systems aren’t complex enough to allow worries to become distress.

I’m reading Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love & Wisdom by Rick Hanson. In it, he says,

“…our vastly more developed brain is fertile ground for a harvest of suffering. Only we humans worry about the future, regret the past, and blame ourselves for the present. We get frustrated when we can’t have what we want, and disappointed when we what we like ends. We suffer that we suffer. We get upset about being in pain, angry about dying, sad about waking up sad yet another day.”

The author talks about mindfulness, that skillful use of attention to both our inner and outer worlds.

He also talks about wisdom, which is applied common sense. In other words, understanding what hurts us and what helps us. And once we understand that, we let go of what hurts and do more of what helps.

As a result, over time, we feel more connected with everything. We’re more serene about how things change and eventually end. We can meet pleasure and pain without grasping at one and struggling with the other.

Kate Bast (who I recently did the Alpha Female retreat with) and I will be offering four workshops at Three Waters Reserve to help with mindfulness, wisdom, and connection. The first is happening on May 24^th, 10:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.

It’s called Let It Go: The Art of Finding Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Space. Just as a garden grows lushly when it has room to spread out, so do our psyches. By decluttering and getting rid of objects, memories, and limiting beliefs that no longer serve us, we can expand and grow.

We will explore journaling techniques and energy clearing indoors before we head out to experience the benefits of forest bathing (click here for more information on forest bathing).

Mark your calendar. I’ll let you know when registration opens.

And P.S. I’d choose to be a seal. They’re so playful and always look like they’re having a blast.

I’ve talked about sigils before. A sigil is a symbol with a magical or mystical meaning. It comes from the Latin word sigillum, which means seal. It’s the root of words like “sign”, “signature”, and “signal”.

The word originally meant the signature of an angel, demon, or spirit. They were representations of the real names of the spirit and gave a practitioner of magic some control over the spirit.

It reminds me of the symbol Prince chose when he became The Artist Formerly Known as Prince.

These days, in the Woo-niverse, sigils aren’t used to call on spirits. Instead, they’re created to set a personal intention or goal. It’s a creative shorthand for what you want to manifest.

So, why not simply write your intention on a slip of paper?

Words are what our rational mind uses. When we want to manifest a desire, we need our subconscious involved. It’s similar to tarot cards. We could use notecards that say Legacy or Make a Wish or Free Yourself, but the imagery connects to something deep and intuitive.

I’ll talk about creating your own sigil next week. For today, I’ll give you one you can use.

This is one to get you unstuck. It has elements of movement and creativity. It gives feelings of freedom and joy.

How to use it? When things just aren’t flowing like they should or when you need some inspiration, draw it in the sand and let the waves wash it away. Draw it on a leaf and let the wind carry it off. Or draw it on a piece of paper and keep it visible during

• a waning moon to remove blockages,
• a waxing moon to move things along,
• a full moon for a creative push,
• a new moon to feel recharged.

Do I talk to myself? Of course I do. We all do. When you swear at the jerk who cut you off in traffic (“Hey, a$$hole, is it turn signal-optional day?!”), you don’t think he can hear you, do you?

Some people talk to themselves more than others. Only children, for example. Oldest siblings, too (we also tend to have imaginary friends more often, which can look like we’re talking to ourselves ). Older adults also talk to themselves because they are less likely to care what others think of them (me every week in the grocery store). People who live alone chit-chat to themselves to keep themselves company.

It doesn’t matter if you do; it’s perfectly normal. What matters is how you talk to yourself.

You might mutter to yourself when you’re annoyed, hoping your spouse will hear and ask if you want to talk about it. Or you might beat yourself up out loud. “Why did you do that? Idiot!” These are (obviously) not productive uses of what’s known as external self-talk or private speech.

Gary Lupyan, a psychology professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison (shout out to my alma mater!) has researched self-talk. He says that it facilitates problem-solving and helps you perform tasks such as searching for an object (“Where did I leave my damn keys?). It keeps you focused, especially in a situation that requires a lot of different steps because speech is linear and thoughts typically aren’t.

Studies have found many benefits such as letting off steam, making sense of that big jumble of thoughts, and self-soothing.

Two uses you may not have thought of for self-talk are canceling negative thinking and giving yourself a mini pep talk.

I took a class with tarot and angel expert Radleigh Valentine where he told us to say out loud, “Stop. Cancel. Delete.” when a negative thought enters our head. This technique keeps our attitude positive and maintains a flow of beneficial energy to and from us.

You can also be your own wise coach. You can tell yourself something simple like, “You got this!” or use an affirmation, “I have everything I need to get through this.” Or “This isn’t going to last forever. I can feel unpleasant and safe at the same time.”

The biggest benefit? Self-talk allows you to feel seen by yourself. And when that happens, you can allow others to see you.

Do you remember The Secret? It was a 2006 bestseller by Rhonda Byrne which introduced many of us to the law of attraction. Byrne claimed that thinking and acting like you already have what you want will attract that energy to you and fulfill your desire. Want to be rich? Think and act like a rich person.

But there was a flaw in The Secret. The secret ingredient to The Secret is action. Think, act as if, and put in the effort.

I was reminded of this when I stumbled across Grabovoi codes a couple of weeks ago. Russian psychic Grigori Grabovoi invented the codes in 1999. He believed that the codes could alter a person’s electromagnetic field and change their health, wellness, wealth, or whatever they desired.

The idea is that you can manifest your desires, or make your dreams a reality, by saying the codes out loud while concentrating on what you want. It’s like The Secret plus a sequence of numbers.
Here are the steps.

1. Go somewhere quiet where you can concentrate on what you want.
2. Choose the code you want to work with and write it down.
3. Say the code out loud while visualizing what you want. (If there is a space in the code, pause at the space before going on.)
4. Feel gratitude and love.
5. Take action. Apply for a job while using the code to manifest money. Ask someone out while using the code for love. Change your diet while using the code for health.
6. Let go of expectations and let the Universe deliver.

Here are some of the codes.

• Manifest love: 888 412 1289018
• Manifest romance: 973594066
• Attract your soulmate: 973594066
• Manifest money: 9798733714615
• Financial independence: 3657745
• Find a job: 93151 864 1491
• Lose weight 5343168
• Boost memory 589 3240
• Heal your body 9187948181
• Improve your luck 817219738
• Be at peace 1001105010

 I’m going to work with 9187948181, heal your body. How about you? Let me know how it goes.

This morning, I saw a link to a quiz on Instagram, Which Feminine Archetype Are You? I took the quiz and was then disappointed to learn they wanted money to reveal the answer. I kept my cash and scrolled on.

Have you ever taken a personality quiz? Read a self-help book? Looked at an astrology column? Haven’t we all?

Maybe not.

Christoph Heine, a psychologist and personality researcher at Witten/Herdecke University in Germany, and his colleagues investigated what they call the “self-insight motive” and found that some people have more of it than others. It’s a personality trait that varies between individuals just as introversion and extroversion do.

Maybe you’ve noticed this, too. Maybe, like me, you’ve had someone tell you that they’re not into self-reflection. And maybe, like me, you could hardly believe your ears.

Here’s what Heine found. The typical person with a strong desire for self-insight is relatively young, educated, open to new experiences, and concerned about maintaining close relationships. They are curious and constantly looking for ways to improve themselves.

This description reminds me of my friend Michelle, who is always seeking that kernel of personal truth. Or my friend Lindsay, who is always ready to delve into esoteric topics with me. One thing these two have in common, along with most of my friends, is a love of deep, meaningful conversations.

But here’s the rub. The path to genuine self-understanding involves challenging hurdles and uncomfortable truths. You can read a self-help book, but unless you put to work the techniques outlined by the author, you haven’t gained much. Motivation without follow-through doesn’t get you far. What’s more, if you ask others for feedback, you need to ask people who will be honest with you. What good is a half-truth or outright lie told to spare your feelings?

Self-insight can be empowering. When I found out my Myers-Briggs type is rare in women (INTJ), I felt a sense of relief. So that’s why people have told me I’m  assertive or even aggressive! It’s who I am. It’s not going to change. And it’s why I’m the one people call when they need something done now.

The key is to learn who you are and lean into it. Be boldly, authentically you, whoever that may be.

Our spirit teams are always with us. Always.

But there are times when we feel they’re ignoring us. We ask for help and get… nothing but crickets chirping.

Why?

Imagine this scenario: You feel stuck. You know something must change, but what? What’s the right thing to do? You call out to your spirit guides and angels. Help! I need to know what my next step is for my highest good! Then, every day for the next week, you call out again. Hey! Where’s my answer?

You feel your spirit team, even Spirit itself, has abandoned you.

But did you let your guides and angels know how you wanted them to communicate with you? Maybe they’re leaving sigils made of twigs on the path you walk every day. Or they might be speaking to you in the language of animals. Perhaps they figured you were going to use that old I Ching that’s been gathering dust on your bookshelf.

Did you tell them how to communicate with you? Or were you expecting them to slip a note under your pillow one night?

Dear You,
Leave that soul-sucking job and apply at Kismet Tech. You’re a shoo-in!
Love,
Your Spirit Team
P.S. You need to drink more water.
P.P.S. That cute guy at Starbucks has a crush on you. Ask him out.

That’s not going to happen.

Tell your team how you want them to communicate with you. Make it clear. If you’d like a suggestion, get an oracle card deck. I highly recommend Colette Baron-Reid’s Wisdom of the Oracle. Each card has a general meaning, a relationship message, and a prosperity message (depending on your question), as well as what it means if the card is upside down. You may also like one of Sandra Anne Taylor’s oracle card decks. Each card has both a meaning and an affirmation.

Start with only one deck. Get to know it by using it. Pull a card daily. What do I need to know today? or Who do I need to be today? It will take a while for you and your spirit team to speak the same language. That is, for you to properly interpret what they’re saying.

But once you let them know how you want them to communicate with you, watch out! They’ll have a lot to tell you.

I’ve had dark hair all my life. Until this last June, that is. I talk a lot about being authentic and thought it was time I accepted that my hair is now silver. Each time I look in the mirror, I don’t recognize myself even though it’s been six months.

There are so many facets to being authentic.

Sometimes we don’t know who we are until we act. Am I the marrying kind? Am I the kind of person who gets a tattoo? Am I a dog or a cat person? Am I so thoroughly a Midwesterner that I’d be miserable if I moved to Florida (the answer to that one was a resounding yes)?

Other aspects of being our true selves are trickier. Do I strive to always tell the truth? Can I accept that I can be a real grump? Can I admit to some of the awful things I’ve done? Do I set firm boundaries? How often do I go along with what others want for the sake of harmony? Do I have confidence in my values? In my opinions?

We fear others won’t like us if they know the real us, but don’t we all have someone in our lives who is unapologetically authentic who we like just fine?

Each of us is an integral part of the Universe. An orchestra needs strings, woodwinds, brass, and percussion—not squid. Similarly, the ocean depths don’t need a piccolo.

What’s holding you back? For me and my silver hair, it was facing my age. Maybe you don’t want to seem too smart, so you dumb yourself down. Or perhaps you curate your image on Facebook so that no one knows you’re not perfect. Do you refuse to take a break when you’re tired or in pain because you don’t want to appear fragile?

This week, look at where you’re trying to deceive yourself. And, if you’re up for it, where you’re trying to fool others.

The world will not come crumbling down around you when you show your true colors. In fact, the Universe will applaud you and show you your purpose.

I’ve talked about bibliomancy before, where when you need an answer, you grab a book and open it at random. You then close your eyes and point to a place on the page, wherever feels right, open your eyes and read the word, phrase or sentence you’ve pointed to.

Here’s another fun and slightly more involved method.

• Rip a page at random out of a textbook, novel, essay, or magazine. You can get a book at a thrift store, or photocopy the page if you don’t want to ruin the book.

 • Light a candle at your desk or table, or cleanse the space with incense or sage.

• Once you have your page, start striking out words or phrases. Don’t overthink this process. Let your subconscious guide your hand, leaving only the words that call to you.

• When you finish crossing things out, rearrange the remaining words into a new piece of writing on a new sheet of paper. You can create prose, a poem, a prayer, an invocation, or a spell. Feel free to add new connecting words if needed.

• Notice what wisdom, or insights are revealed through the rewriting. You can read your creation out loud to close the ceremony. Leave the new writing on your altar or place it in your journal to remind you that you’re never truly stuck.

I carry a skeleton key on my keychain. I also have one on my altar. They’re there to remind me that should an opportunity knock, I have the key to open the door to it.

I realized this week that I have also been carrying around a doorknob for the last thirty-some years. I have no idea where it came from. It has traveled from house to house with me and it never stays packed away in a box in the basement. I always know where it is.

The other day it occurred to me that it is as symbolic as the skeleton keys I always have handy.

You know how sometimes we’re offered an opportunity, but we can’t see how to grab hold of it? It might be the perfect job—across the country from your family and friends. Or a program to master something you’ve always been interested in—but you don’t have the tuition. You get the picture.

By having a doorknob, I’m letting the Universe know that I’m ready. I’m (symbolically) open to what it has in store for me.

You don’t need a doorknob, of course. You might prefer a small steppingstone. Or a tiny ladder. Or a little bridge. It can be anything that lets the Divine know that you’re ready and willing to co-create.

So, what will you use to signal to your spirit team that you’re eager to see what it has in store for you, where it wants to take you, what the next door/step/rung on your journey is?

The bustle is over, which makes this the perfect time to pull some cards for 2025.

You can use your favorite tarot or oracle deck for this spread. Go to a quiet room. Put your feet on the floor and get centered. Shuffle the deck while focusing on each question, then cut, draw, or drop to get your card.

1. What was 2024’s biggest lesson for me?
2. What do I need to release from 2024?
3. How should I best transition to the new year?
4. What is 2025’s theme for me?
5. What opportunities are coming my way this year?
6. What will be 2025’s biggest challenge?

Here’s what my spread looked like.

1. My lesson from 2024 is the Page of Pentacles. I faced a lot of physical challenges. I was meant to learn how to meet them with an excitement to learn something new. This is an important thing for me to remember as I move into 2025.
2. The Hierophant is about conformity, so what I need to release is strict adherence to approaching things the way others do. I think this will play out most in my approach to spirituality. I want to make it less stuffy and more fun.
3. The way for me to transition is to choose carefully. Stay or go? Stay the same or change? I should be cautious as I move forward, but I should consciously make a choice.
4. The Wheel is 2025’s theme for me. Life is always changing. I’ll need to let go and go with the flow of it. That’s always a tough one for me.
5. What opportunities are coming my way? The deck I chose to pull from has a wild card called the Artist. It’s about being a visionary, an interpreter, a creator, and someone who’s passionate. Bring it on, 2025! I love it.
6. My biggest challenge this year will be Justice. I hope it doesn’t mean the law, which is the literal meaning. But it also means karma, accountability, cause and effect, and remembering that actions have consequences. 

Obviously, I’ve condensed my interpretations. I’ll want to journal on what came up and keep those pages handy to reference through the coming year. You will, too.

Let me know what comes up for you. Were there any big surprises?