Many years ago, two coworkers and I decided to try to meet up in our dreams one night. The following day when we got to work, we compared notes. Two of us had dreamt about the other but the third friend had been absent from the dream world.

Dreams have always fascinated me.

I’ve had dreams that warned of a future event, in this case, being rear-ended by a red car. I’ve had spiritual dreams, like the one where an angel named Ariaria was helping me ascend to a higher level. (Months later I read a letter to Ann Landers signed A Rose Is a Rose Is a… She replied, Dear ARIARIA. I almost fell off my chair.)

I keep a dream journal and I also love reading about research into dreams. So, I clicked immediately on this article: In a first, two people communicate in dreams while sleeping.

The two people were lucid dreaming (dreaming while being aware that you’re dreaming, sometimes even able to control the dream). The company conducting the experiment tracked the brainwaves of the participants, who were in separate homes at the time. When one participant entered a lucid dream state, they were sent a random word via earbuds. The participant repeated the word in their dream. Then, when the other participant was in the right state, the same word was communicated to them. They were able to remember and report the word upon waking.

While I think there’s still a way to go before we can truly call this capturing dream communication, it’s a start. I don’t doubt that there are people who are able to communicate with one another when they dream; it’s proving it scientifically that’s more difficult.

What about you? Do you remember your dreams? Do you have lucid dreams? Are you ever able to control your dreams? Has a dream foretold the future? Helped you solve a problem? Given you spiritual insight?

Would you be willing to try out a simple dream experiment where we send each other a shape or color or word?

I was working with a client the other day, one I hadn’t seen in a while. Her mother, a brother, and a sister all came through from the spirit side, which was validating and lovely.

Suddenly, I felt a magnificent presence and I knew immediately that it was Archangel Michael.

I work with the archangels, and I typically sense that they’re with me when I call on them, but this was different. Tears sprang to my eyes. I felt humbled, like I should be kneeling. I had trouble finding words.

“Do you work with Archangel Michael?” I asked my client. “I mean, do you talk to him and pray to him?”

She smiled and said, “I talk to him and pray to him. I even get together with a couple of other people to work on chapters from a book of transmissions from him*. He’s the MacDaddy! He told me that once.”

I couldn’t believe she had just called Michael MacDaddy. What I was feeling could only be described as awe. There was nothing cute about it. MacDaddy seemed almost blasphemous, somehow even more disrespectful than calling God the Big Cheese or Top Banana.

I have experienced awe (with a small a) before, like when my children were born, or at the opera, or even working with clients when a dead loved one comes through with an uplifting message. But this was my first encounter with Awe. Awe (capital A) is reverential. It commands respect mixed with wonder and a touch of fear.

Dacher Keltner, a psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley, who has written a book on awe (aptly titled Awe), says, “Awe is the feeling of being in the presence of something vast that transcends your understanding of the world.

It’s vast, sure. But it can also be simple. Go out and look at the night sky, especially when there’s a full moon. Go to the zoo and watch the lions. Listen to an amazing piece of music. Deepen your spiritual practice.

I’m sure you have experienced awe with a small a. How about with a big A? Tell me about it.

*The book is Archangel Michael Speaks: 33 Living Transmissions from the Archangel of the Sun by Melanie Beckler 

Have you ever broken up with someone, knowing it was the right thing to do, but still felt sad? Or changed jobs or moved knowing that so many good things are there for you, but still missing what you left behind?

Of course you have. Maybe you’ve dropped your first child at kindergarten or your baby at college and had a whirlwind of feelings: the sadness of a changing family dynamic, the heartache of parting, the uncertainty that lies ahead for them, pride at the milestone and seeing your child become more independent.

Now, let’s say I asked you to rate your feelings on a scale of one to ten. You’d probably laugh and tell me it’s impossible. Which emotion? You’re feeling so many of them.

So often, we label our emotions as either good or bad, rarely both. We see a bear in the woods and experience fear. Bad. We snuggle with a loved one and feel warmth and love. Good. But look at emotions like nostalgia and awe. They’re positive and negative at the same time.

For a long time, I’ve encouraged clients to acknowledge all their feelings. We can be angry that our parents didn’t love us exactly the way we needed them to while still realizing our parents did their best. We can rejoice in our freedom after a painful breakup and still feel an almost unbearable sadness. We can be so angry with someone that we need to walk away and take a break for a while and still love them.

It’s important to not choose one feeling over another. We do ourselves no favors by saying Being mad is negative and does me no good, so I’ll focus on the love. Being angry does indeed do us good. It shows us how we need to change. It empowers us. It points us to the boundaries we need to set.

I’m not talking about getting caught up in the emotion. Don’t start throwing things.

But when we observe our feelings with objectivity and curiosity, we develop emotional intelligence. This helps us not only deal with others with more sympathy, but, maybe more importantly, show ourselves more compassion.

What you may know as Halloween, is known as Samhain in witch’s circles. Pronounced saah-wn, it comes from Gaelic and means summer’s end. Samhain marks the transition from the light part of the year to the dark part. It calls us to honor our connection with the spirit world.

This is a time to honor our ancestors, something most of us in the Western world don’t do much unless we celebrate dia de los Muertos, or the Day of the Dead. The Celts called their ancestors from the spirit world by setting a place at the table for them and by building bonfires to guide them. The veil between the living and the dead is said to be thin this time of year and so it’s an occasion for messages and guidance to come through.

Fall reminds us that everything living must follow the cycle from living to dead. The transition is inevitable. This is a time to reflect on the past, release what no longer serves us, and set intentions of transformation for the future.

My favorite part of Samhain is the heightened spiritual energy and activity. It’s the perfect time for divination and prophecy. Connect to the unseen forces that influence our lives through tarot and oracle card reading, meditation, dream work, and scrying.

If you like working with crystals, here are some to use for Samhain.

• Obsidian is often used during Samhain to ground and protect your energy during communication with ancestors and spirit guides.
• Smoky quartz can help release negative energies and emotions, so we can let go of the past and embrace personal growth and transformation.
• Labradorite can aid in connecting with the spirit realm, opening up ancestral wisdom, and receiving messages from beyond.
• Amethyst is a crystal of intuition and clarity. It supports dreamwork and meditation.

Don’t let this powerful season pass without using its unique energy.

In Syracuse recently, my friend Lindsay and I were talking about our favorite Halloween costumes. It’s a fun question and it got me thinking about all the things I’ve dressed up as. Some of them were a bit boring, like a witch or a hula girl. Others were fun but inconvenient because I couldn’t sit down, like a Tootsie Roll. Others were straight-up fun, like Madonna.

What was your favorite Halloween costume?

When you’re dressed up, do you commit to the role? Did you take the opportunity to be someone completely different?

So often we want to be someone new, we want to transform ourselves, but we’re unwilling to shed what’s holding us back.

Fear, anxiety, and depression can keep us stuck, as can unresolved trauma, in which case we may need a therapist to help move us forward.

But often what keeps us stuck are bad habits. We want to lose weight, but we always stop for a caramel macchiato on the way to work. Relationships and jobs can be bad habits, as well. It can be easier to stay where we are than to risk being alone or to look for something we might like even less (but you won’t know unless you try).

Another thing that holds us back can be unchallenged rituals. We can have old rebellious responses that no longer apply, but we’ve never taken the time to examine them. It might be time to evict these past internalized enemies.

Another question to ask yourself is whether who and what you are now is your own dream or someone else’s? Did your parents want you to take over the family business or become a teacher or tell you that you weren’t smart enough for college?

You can be whoever you want to be in real life, not just at Halloween.

How are you longing to transform? What one step can you take toward that goal this week?

I’m the Toots on the right

It’s that witchy time of year, so embrace your inner Hermione and do this simple spell for abundance, wealth and calm into your home.

You’ll need a tea light and some dried cinnamon, basil and lavender. If you don’t have all three, use the one or two that you have in your spice collection.

Sprinkle some cinnamon on top of the tea light. This is for abundance.

Next, sprinkle basil on it. This is for wealth.

Finally, add the lavender. This is for a calm environment.

As you light the candle, focus your intention on those three things: abundance, wealth, and calm.

Then, as the candle burns, imagine how you’d feel with abundance, wealth, and calm. The more emotion you bring, the better.

Sit and stare into the candle, embracing your intention. Sit there for as long as you can. If you can’t wait for the candle to burn out, that’s fine. Go do what needs to be done while still carrying your intention and feeling its positive vibe.

That’s it! Expect to manifest.

And so it is.

I absolutely love this time of year. The nights are cool, the trees are starting to turn yellow, orange and red. I start to make pumpkin everything, like pumpkin ravioli, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin bread, and pumpkin waffles. I even make rice pudding baked in a pumpkin. I can put on a sweater, sit outside next to the firepit and drink warm spiced wine. I wish I had a fall birthday so that I could celebrate the season even more.

In a few weeks, it will be Samhain, the witches’ sabbath that coincides with Halloween. The veil between the living and the dead will thin… but that’s a topic for later in the month.

Now is the time to turn inward and reflect.

Rituals can be powerful. Something as simple as lighting a candle at dusk can bring meaning to an otherwise ordinary evening. Say a few words of gratitude as you touch the match to the wick.

Build a fire, in the fireplace or outdoors, and release what no longer serves you. Write down what you’re ready to let go of on small slips of paper and feed them into the flames. Feel the freedom of no longer holding onto negativity, grudges, and hurts. Maybe it’s even time to release a relationship or a job.

As the darkness begins to come earlier and earlier, face and accept the darkness within you rather than turning away from it. Remember that both light and shadow are a part of life. Befriend your inner shadow, those parts you don’t like others to see.

The energy of fall correlates to the lungs and large intestines. Do some breath work and a colon cleanse to help your body harmonize with the changes in nature.

Autumn is a time of transition. Embrace the changes around you and allow them to usher changes into your life.

In 2008, my daughter’s husband left her abruptly with the words, “I can’t do this anymore.” She had no car, no job, no bank account. She did have a toddler and an infant. This was a dark time for her.

Obviously, it was easier for me than for her, but I had to be there for her like never before, which included taking care of my granddaughters. I loved spending time with them, but twelve hours a day left me in tears many times.

Not coincidentally, in 2008, Pluto entered Capricorn. Pluto is the planet of transformation; it’s about destruction and renewal. Moving through Capricorn, it has forced us to face our deepest fears. On September 2, Pluto stationed retrograde and will be there until November 19^th. This is a powerful time to clear out your emotional baggage.

Pluto won’t be in Capricorn again until 2254—long after we’re all dead. Use this energy now, before Pluto moves on.

The best way to work with this cosmic energy is to see where Pluto is in your chart. Don’t know? Click here.

For me, Pluto is in Virgo in my first house.

Here’s a chart of the houses.

And here are the signs.

I have Pluto in my first house, which is in Virgo. I need to sort out any blocks to my personal well-being and my physical health. Oof—that hits home. My body has been a wreck lately. I should also look at my deep self-awareness and my drive for self-improvement. Am I overly focused on me, me, me? (My last couple of blog posts point to yes).

The emotional baggage surrounding all this, what needs to be cleared out, is the way my family of origin treated both illness and ego. We had to be practically dead to stay home from school and then all you got was tea and dry toast. We simply weren’t allowed to be sick. We also had to do what was best for the group. There was no consideration for individual concerns. Well, I should speak for myself. I was the oldest and had to take care of my siblings while my mother went back to school. Which brings the story full circle–taking care of other people’s children.

Look at your chart and see where you can use this intense Pluto retrograde energy.

Washington Island, which lies in Lake Michigan off the tip of Wisconsin, has a beach covered with smooth stones instead of sand. It’s unique and beautiful. It’s also illegal to take the stones as souvenirs, but even a fine of $250 per stone doesn’t stop tourists from pilfering them.

A few years ago, a box with no return address was sent to Washington Island’s police department. It contained three stones and a note that read Please return to Schoolhouse Beach.

Whoever took those rocks had a nagging conscience. They felt guilty. Maybe even worse.

This reminded me of two beautiful books my ex left behind when he took his things as we split up. Those books sat on my bookshelf for close to two decades before I finally sent them to him. It wasn’t from guilt as much as a sense of restoring order. And wanting to get his energy back where it belonged.

How often do we hang onto things that aren’t ours? I have a friend who held onto things from her ex out of spite. But he didn’t remember she had his stuff, so it was only prolonging her grudge; it wasn’t hurting him.

We also hang onto energy for longer than we should. We replay arguments in our head. We remember slights done to us, as well times we’ve slighted people. For years, I felt horrible about the time I lost my sister at Six Flags. I labeled myself the Worst Sister Ever. I mentioned it to her decades later, expecting her to tell me how I had ruined her childhood. Guess what—she didn’t even remember it.

What do you need to return? Something from a national park that you took? Something you borrowed and never gave back? Mail the item. Or hand it back in person.

Do you need to send back some energy that you’re hanging onto? Get into a relaxed, meditative state, visualize the person whose energy you’re holding onto and say I return to you all that is yours with light and love. See the energy whooshing back and then see yourself cutting the cord that has been binding you. If it’s guilt you’re hanging onto, can you find the courage to talk to whoever you hurt and apologize?

Like me, you may find that you’ve attached more significance to the incident than they have. In any case, you’ll feel lighter and freer.

Oh, I used to be disgusted
Now I try to be amused…

I used to love that song. I still do.

Back in college, when I’d put on Elvis Costello’s My Aim Is True album and he sang about the angels wanting to wear his red shoes, my roommate told me that those were my only two emotions—disgust and amusement. I’m not so sure about that, but I know I wasn’t allowing all my feelings to surface. I was in a dark place then.

I have a few clients who also experienced trauma and are similarly cut off from their emotions. One of them described it as being emotionally constipated. She found it impossible to describe what she was feeling because, honestly, she wasn’t feeling. Her spirit guides suggested she get a paper calendar and mark each day with an up arrow, a flat line, or a down arrow to show her mood until she was better able to recognize her emotions.

After a few months of that, I sent her an emotions wheel. It’s a great tool. You start in the center and work with the seven emotions there. Once you’re able to distinguish which basic emotion you feel, you can move out to the next ring. And before you know it, you can identify nuanced emotions like indignation, powerlessness, curiosity, and joyfulness.

This set of Venn diagrams found its way into my inbox a couple of weeks ago. I love how it mixes emotions together and shows the resulting combination.

And finally, here are some emotions you may feel but didn’t know how to explain.

• Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.
• Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head (raises hand, guilty!).
• Lachesism: The desire to be struck by disaster—to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.
• Liberosis: The desire to care less about things.
• Mauerbauertrauigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.
• Opia: The ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which is simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.
• Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.

And lastly, my favorite,

• Vellichor: The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.