Do you remember The Secret? It was a 2006 bestseller by Rhonda Byrne which introduced many of us to the law of attraction. Byrne claimed that thinking and acting like you already have what you want will attract that energy to you and fulfill your desire. Want to be rich? Think and act like a rich person.

But there was a flaw in The Secret. The secret ingredient to The Secret is action. Think, act as if, and put in the effort.

I was reminded of this when I stumbled across Grabovoi codes a couple of weeks ago. Russian psychic Grigori Grabovoi invented the codes in 1999. He believed that the codes could alter a person’s electromagnetic field and change their health, wellness, wealth, or whatever they desired.

The idea is that you can manifest your desires, or make your dreams a reality, by saying the codes out loud while concentrating on what you want. It’s like The Secret plus a sequence of numbers.
Here are the steps.

1. Go somewhere quiet where you can concentrate on what you want.
2. Choose the code you want to work with and write it down.
3. Say the code out loud while visualizing what you want. (If there is a space in the code, pause at the space before going on.)
4. Feel gratitude and love.
5. Take action. Apply for a job while using the code to manifest money. Ask someone out while using the code for love. Change your diet while using the code for health.
6. Let go of expectations and let the Universe deliver.

Here are some of the codes.

• Manifest love: 888 412 1289018
• Manifest romance: 973594066
• Attract your soulmate: 973594066
• Manifest money: 9798733714615
• Financial independence: 3657745
• Find a job: 93151 864 1491
• Lose weight 5343168
• Boost memory 589 3240
• Heal your body 9187948181
• Improve your luck 817219738
• Be at peace 1001105010

 I’m going to work with 9187948181, heal your body. How about you? Let me know how it goes.

This morning, I saw a link to a quiz on Instagram, Which Feminine Archetype Are You? I took the quiz and was then disappointed to learn they wanted money to reveal the answer. I kept my cash and scrolled on.

Have you ever taken a personality quiz? Read a self-help book? Looked at an astrology column? Haven’t we all?

Maybe not.

Christoph Heine, a psychologist and personality researcher at Witten/Herdecke University in Germany, and his colleagues investigated what they call the “self-insight motive” and found that some people have more of it than others. It’s a personality trait that varies between individuals just as introversion and extroversion do.

Maybe you’ve noticed this, too. Maybe, like me, you’ve had someone tell you that they’re not into self-reflection. And maybe, like me, you could hardly believe your ears.

Here’s what Heine found. The typical person with a strong desire for self-insight is relatively young, educated, open to new experiences, and concerned about maintaining close relationships. They are curious and constantly looking for ways to improve themselves.

This description reminds me of my friend Michelle, who is always seeking that kernel of personal truth. Or my friend Lindsay, who is always ready to delve into esoteric topics with me. One thing these two have in common, along with most of my friends, is a love of deep, meaningful conversations.

But here’s the rub. The path to genuine self-understanding involves challenging hurdles and uncomfortable truths. You can read a self-help book, but unless you put to work the techniques outlined by the author, you haven’t gained much. Motivation without follow-through doesn’t get you far. What’s more, if you ask others for feedback, you need to ask people who will be honest with you. What good is a half-truth or outright lie told to spare your feelings?

Self-insight can be empowering. When I found out my Myers-Briggs type is rare in women (INTJ), I felt a sense of relief. So that’s why people have told me I’m  assertive or even aggressive! It’s who I am. It’s not going to change. And it’s why I’m the one people call when they need something done now.

The key is to learn who you are and lean into it. Be boldly, authentically you, whoever that may be.

Our spirit teams are always with us. Always.

But there are times when we feel they’re ignoring us. We ask for help and get… nothing but crickets chirping.

Why?

Imagine this scenario: You feel stuck. You know something must change, but what? What’s the right thing to do? You call out to your spirit guides and angels. Help! I need to know what my next step is for my highest good! Then, every day for the next week, you call out again. Hey! Where’s my answer?

You feel your spirit team, even Spirit itself, has abandoned you.

But did you let your guides and angels know how you wanted them to communicate with you? Maybe they’re leaving sigils made of twigs on the path you walk every day. Or they might be speaking to you in the language of animals. Perhaps they figured you were going to use that old I Ching that’s been gathering dust on your bookshelf.

Did you tell them how to communicate with you? Or were you expecting them to slip a note under your pillow one night?

Dear You,
Leave that soul-sucking job and apply at Kismet Tech. You’re a shoo-in!
Love,
Your Spirit Team
P.S. You need to drink more water.
P.P.S. That cute guy at Starbucks has a crush on you. Ask him out.

That’s not going to happen.

Tell your team how you want them to communicate with you. Make it clear. If you’d like a suggestion, get an oracle card deck. I highly recommend Colette Baron-Reid’s Wisdom of the Oracle. Each card has a general meaning, a relationship message, and a prosperity message (depending on your question), as well as what it means if the card is upside down. You may also like one of Sandra Anne Taylor’s oracle card decks. Each card has both a meaning and an affirmation.

Start with only one deck. Get to know it by using it. Pull a card daily. What do I need to know today? or Who do I need to be today? It will take a while for you and your spirit team to speak the same language. That is, for you to properly interpret what they’re saying.

But once you let them know how you want them to communicate with you, watch out! They’ll have a lot to tell you.

I’ve had dark hair all my life. Until this last June, that is. I talk a lot about being authentic and thought it was time I accepted that my hair is now silver. Each time I look in the mirror, I don’t recognize myself even though it’s been six months.

There are so many facets to being authentic.

Sometimes we don’t know who we are until we act. Am I the marrying kind? Am I the kind of person who gets a tattoo? Am I a dog or a cat person? Am I so thoroughly a Midwesterner that I’d be miserable if I moved to Florida (the answer to that one was a resounding yes)?

Other aspects of being our true selves are trickier. Do I strive to always tell the truth? Can I accept that I can be a real grump? Can I admit to some of the awful things I’ve done? Do I set firm boundaries? How often do I go along with what others want for the sake of harmony? Do I have confidence in my values? In my opinions?

We fear others won’t like us if they know the real us, but don’t we all have someone in our lives who is unapologetically authentic who we like just fine?

Each of us is an integral part of the Universe. An orchestra needs strings, woodwinds, brass, and percussion—not squid. Similarly, the ocean depths don’t need a piccolo.

What’s holding you back? For me and my silver hair, it was facing my age. Maybe you don’t want to seem too smart, so you dumb yourself down. Or perhaps you curate your image on Facebook so that no one knows you’re not perfect. Do you refuse to take a break when you’re tired or in pain because you don’t want to appear fragile?

This week, look at where you’re trying to deceive yourself. And, if you’re up for it, where you’re trying to fool others.

The world will not come crumbling down around you when you show your true colors. In fact, the Universe will applaud you and show you your purpose.

I’ve talked about bibliomancy before, where when you need an answer, you grab a book and open it at random. You then close your eyes and point to a place on the page, wherever feels right, open your eyes and read the word, phrase or sentence you’ve pointed to.

Here’s another fun and slightly more involved method.

• Rip a page at random out of a textbook, novel, essay, or magazine. You can get a book at a thrift store, or photocopy the page if you don’t want to ruin the book.

 • Light a candle at your desk or table, or cleanse the space with incense or sage.

• Once you have your page, start striking out words or phrases. Don’t overthink this process. Let your subconscious guide your hand, leaving only the words that call to you.

• When you finish crossing things out, rearrange the remaining words into a new piece of writing on a new sheet of paper. You can create prose, a poem, a prayer, an invocation, or a spell. Feel free to add new connecting words if needed.

• Notice what wisdom, or insights are revealed through the rewriting. You can read your creation out loud to close the ceremony. Leave the new writing on your altar or place it in your journal to remind you that you’re never truly stuck.

I carry a skeleton key on my keychain. I also have one on my altar. They’re there to remind me that should an opportunity knock, I have the key to open the door to it.

I realized this week that I have also been carrying around a doorknob for the last thirty-some years. I have no idea where it came from. It has traveled from house to house with me and it never stays packed away in a box in the basement. I always know where it is.

The other day it occurred to me that it is as symbolic as the skeleton keys I always have handy.

You know how sometimes we’re offered an opportunity, but we can’t see how to grab hold of it? It might be the perfect job—across the country from your family and friends. Or a program to master something you’ve always been interested in—but you don’t have the tuition. You get the picture.

By having a doorknob, I’m letting the Universe know that I’m ready. I’m (symbolically) open to what it has in store for me.

You don’t need a doorknob, of course. You might prefer a small steppingstone. Or a tiny ladder. Or a little bridge. It can be anything that lets the Divine know that you’re ready and willing to co-create.

So, what will you use to signal to your spirit team that you’re eager to see what it has in store for you, where it wants to take you, what the next door/step/rung on your journey is?

The bustle is over, which makes this the perfect time to pull some cards for 2025.

You can use your favorite tarot or oracle deck for this spread. Go to a quiet room. Put your feet on the floor and get centered. Shuffle the deck while focusing on each question, then cut, draw, or drop to get your card.

1. What was 2024’s biggest lesson for me?
2. What do I need to release from 2024?
3. How should I best transition to the new year?
4. What is 2025’s theme for me?
5. What opportunities are coming my way this year?
6. What will be 2025’s biggest challenge?

Here’s what my spread looked like.

1. My lesson from 2024 is the Page of Pentacles. I faced a lot of physical challenges. I was meant to learn how to meet them with an excitement to learn something new. This is an important thing for me to remember as I move into 2025.
2. The Hierophant is about conformity, so what I need to release is strict adherence to approaching things the way others do. I think this will play out most in my approach to spirituality. I want to make it less stuffy and more fun.
3. The way for me to transition is to choose carefully. Stay or go? Stay the same or change? I should be cautious as I move forward, but I should consciously make a choice.
4. The Wheel is 2025’s theme for me. Life is always changing. I’ll need to let go and go with the flow of it. That’s always a tough one for me.
5. What opportunities are coming my way? The deck I chose to pull from has a wild card called the Artist. It’s about being a visionary, an interpreter, a creator, and someone who’s passionate. Bring it on, 2025! I love it.
6. My biggest challenge this year will be Justice. I hope it doesn’t mean the law, which is the literal meaning. But it also means karma, accountability, cause and effect, and remembering that actions have consequences. 

Obviously, I’ve condensed my interpretations. I’ll want to journal on what came up and keep those pages handy to reference through the coming year. You will, too.

Let me know what comes up for you. Were there any big surprises?

Who are you today? What have you done with your life this last year? Do you want 2025 to look exactly the same? When I look back on 2024, I see that for half of the year I was either sick or in pain. I had covid for the first time and barely knew my name. I had some other (minor) illnesses. My vitamin B-12 levels were so low, I had to start getting weekly shots. The arthritis in my hips necessitated both lidocaine and cortisone shots. Do I want 2025 to be a repeat? Hell to the NO. Something has to change. When we do things the same way we always have, we can’t expect new results. And yet… we do. How long has it been since you rocked a new hairstyle or color? Changed the way you dress (Do you have any clothing that’s more than ten years old? Be honest.)? Do you eat the same way you have forever? Do you tend to take the same vacations? Watch the same TV shows?  How long since you rearranged your furniture? On an emotional level, do you react the same way each time someone cuts you off in traffic? When your spouse or partner cuts you off mid-sentence? When something unforeseen upends your day? When you get bad news? Or even good news, for that matter? If what we do and think and believe remains constant, so will our lives. You’ve heard the quote Be the change you want to see in the world*. Be the change. Change. We have to change if we want anything to be different, be it ourselves or the world around us. This is the perfect time to reflect on the past year. And to envision a new you. How do you want to feel? Peaceful? Delighted? Curious? Lighter? New? Courageous? Sara Walka, the founder of the Sisters Enchanted, says her phrase for 2024 was Don’t Fucking Flinch! because she wanted to be fearless in 2024.   I want to hear your word or phrase for 2025. I’m still working on mine, but it might be Healthy or die! *Here is what Mahatma Gandhi actually said. “We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.”

I’m sure I have at least one angel who is smacking her forehead at how slow I can be.

I wrote recently about a dream I had over twenty years ago. There was an angel in it who was helping me to ascend. The angel’s name was Ariaria. I remembered the name because it was so unusual.

Then, maybe a year or so later, I saw a letter to Ann Landers (remember her?) that was signed A Rose Is A Rose Is A… Ann Landers replied, Dear ARIARIA…

As I said, I almost fell off my chair.

A few years ago, I was doing a meditation to meet one of my angels. The name that came to me immediately was Rose. I ended the meditation and felt it had been a dud. Rose? That couldn’t be the name of one of my angels. Oh, well, back to the book I was reading.

That book was Radleigh Valentine’s Compendium of Magical Things. In it he talks about getting to know your angels. He wrote something like, And maybe your angel’s name is Rose…

I knew I could expect my angel to validate his or her name, but I hadn’t expected it to be within minutes. Mind blown.

Here’s what you’ve probably figured out, what it has taken me at least five years to realize:

Ariaria, aka a ROSE is a ROSE is my angel ROSE.

How many times have I encouraged people to watch for synchronicity? Keep an eye out for coincidences, I say. Follow the breadcrumbs, I remind people. Keep a synchronicity journal, I encourage.

It finally, finally dawned on me the other morning while I was lying in bed and letting my thoughts wander. As I say, I can be on the slow side.

D’oh!

Compendium of Magical Things: Communicating with the Divine to Create the Life of Your Dreams is available on Amazon and I’ll bet your library has a copy, too.

And, filed under You Can’t Make This Shit Up, as I was working on this newsletter, this came up in the daily crossword puzzle I do.

One day, I was fuming. I was so angry I could hardly think. I couldn’t think of a way to deal with the person who had gotten me enraged short of strangling them. I stormed out of the house to go get the mail. Wedged between the driveway and the grass was a small slip of paper. It had some advice for me.

Joke. Lighten up, Lady Jane. Don’t take this or yourself so seriously. Find the humor.

There’s something to be said for recognizing Spirit has a sense of humor.
I recently saw a meme that said:

You must nurture The Silliness everywhere your find it. In your mind, in the ramblings of children. In the quirky way an indoor plant grows as it adjusts itself to better find the light. You must nurture The Silliness in all its forms. It is our oldest tool against The Horrors. It is the Harbinger of Hope. Stay Silly. It is the only way.

I found that gem in the Facebook group Unitarian Universalist Hysterical Society. It’s a group dedicated to religious and spiritual humor, humor that harms no one. We believe different things and that’s fabulous is one of the rules of the group as is an ethos of kindness and respect. The group makes me laugh at least once a day.

Here’s the thing: Spirit has a sense of humor. And because of this, life is funny. People are funny.

Spirit will joke with you if you give it a chance.

Julia Cameron wrote a book called Some People Say That… God is No Laughing Matter. It’s an irreverent look at spirituality today. In it, she says that God is both more humorous and more humane than we’ve been taught.

I agree. How about you?