“I feel like we’re walking around like zombies,” my friend told me. “I can’t seem to shake the feeling that this guy is still with us somehow.”

I scheduled energy clearings with each of them. Suzanne and Allie had met a guy who was an actual energy vampire. He had gotten his energetic hooks into them and continued to sap their energy for days. It was spooky. I cut the energetic cord and cautioned them to not have any further contact with him.

People who are honest-to-goodness energy vampires are rare. But we all know people who leave us feeling depleted, tired, unsupported, or maybe even a little sad: the friend who is always in the middle of some drama and whines to us about it, or the family member who constantly needs help but never calls to see how we’re doing, or the co-worker who is so, so needy.

These lesser vampires aren’t going to go away unless we disinvite them. It may not be possible to cut them out of our life entirely, especially if we’re people-pleasers (and if you are, know that you are easy prey for these energy suckers). But we can be honest with them.

If we can sit them down and tell them we feel drained by the relationship, we have the chance to see behind the Dracula mask.

If they say, “I’m sorry. What do you need?” then there’s hope. If they become defensive or angry, they’re probably not going to change. At the very least, new boundaries will need to be established. We don’t have to answer every time they call. We can feel free to say we’re busy or give ourselves a hard out (I need to run at 7:20).

Or they may need a complete exorcism from your life.

If we continue to give them our time and energy, we need to ask ourselves why. Are we not worthy of mutually supportive relationships? Is our well-being not valuable? Shouldn’t we unapologetically respect our own needs?

There is magic in having clear energetic boundaries. Boundaries create a healthy separation between us and others. They allow us to have our own space and privacy, our own feelings, thoughts, needs, and ideas.

They allow us to be ourselves rather than who someone else wants us to be. And the Universe needs us to be uniquely us.

Have you ever had a decision that felt like it was making you instead of the other way around? A choice in your life that seemed less like a choice and more like an unstoppable force?

There was one day I got up and I knew I had to become a hospice chaplain. It was an undeniable push from Spirit. It was a sudden longing that was so powerful that I knew I wouldn’t be able to do anything else.

And then there are the more gentle callings of our souls. We may feel like something is off, something in our lives is not quite right. But what? At those times, it seems like that not-quite-right-ness  is hard to pin down. Maybe it’s not enough exercise or a new medication or a mild cold or…

Rarely do we consider that it’s our soul, our higher self, trying to get our attention.

We make many soul contracts before we come into this lifetime. Some are huge, meant to change the world. Others are smaller, lessons to be learned or patterns to be broken. All of them are important. All of them long to be fulfilled.

When we feel like something is not quite right in our life, it’s time to be quiet and ask our soul what our next step is. We can meditate. We can walk silently in nature. We can turn off the music when we’re on a long drive. We can try journaling or even automatic writing (the practice of asking a question and letting the answer write itself, without consciously moving the pencil). Or we can use oracle cards to give us answers.

We can also call on Archangel Raziel, the angel of wisdom. He can help us when we need guidance on our spiritual path. He can break down barriers to get you where you need to be. He’s there for us when our soul is whispering to us, prodding us to find our true purpose.

Once you have requested Raziel’s help, you may see the numbers 11, 22, or 33, the numbers associated with him. You might also notice scrolls or the color indigo more often than usual. Trust these signs that he is with you. But even if you don’t see them, that doesn’t mean he’s not helping you. Keep a notebook near your bed for flashes of insight that come to you as you’re drifting off to sleep or in a dream.

Be still and listen this week. What is your soul urging you to do?

I got engaged while I had a corporate job at Harley-Davidson in Milwaukee. My fiancé (now husband) worked for Oprah Winfrey. In the world of jobs, Oprah always wins. And yet, I was waffling. Did I want to uproot my children and move? The waffling was in spite of having become redundant. There was almost literally nothing left for me to do at H-D.

Why is it so hard for us to accept change?

I have a client who was on her way back to a place she hates, when she had a mental and physical freakout. We had talked about this several times. Why was she insisting she would be ok going back? Her body was telling her unequivocally that she would not be ok.

Why are we so inflexible sometimes?

When we view change as a challenge instead of an opportunity for growth and learning, we feel like we’re mired in muck. Maybe we’re afraid of failure. Or maybe we imagine it will be more difficult and we’ll be less adaptable than we hope.

The planet Mercury stationed retrograde on the 23^rd.  This can cause all sorts of changes. They’re mostly minor, but they can still leave us feeling disoriented. Delays, appointments being rescheduled or canceled, electronics going haywire, and indecision can all be expected. Or we can at least expect the unexpected.

When we’re faced with changes, either large or small, before we paint the protest sign that says HELL NO! we should take a step back. Listen for what other desires are lurking in the background. Pay attention to the voice of our quietest dreams. Ask what we can learn from our disorientation.

And we can reflect on how we’ve successfully navigated change in the past. After all, look who has survived all the changes, good and bad, so far (yes, you).

Look in the mirror and see all the unexpected things you’ve successfully navigated. Who is this extraordinary person looking back at you? You’re stronger and more flexible than you may give yourself credit for.  

This week, try to stay open to change, because with Mercury retrograde, there’s bound to be some.

How’s your summer?

I feel like this is the only question I hear this time of year. No one ever asks, How’s your fall?

We only get a few months of nice weather here in the Upper Midwest and we try to cram as much into them as possible. I’m as guilty as anyone. Since the beginning of June, I’ve been to Kohler, Wisconsin; my high school class reunion; New Glarus, Wisconsin, to see my sister; my daughter’s wedding; Lily Dale assembly outside Buffalo, New York; Las Vegas; Spring Green, Wisconsin; and the McHenry County Fair.

Are you in high gear, too? Are you constantly planning, preparing, going, doing, problem-solving, redoing, and fixing? Does life feel like an endless stream of responsibilities and things that have to get done? Do you ever have trouble falling asleep because you know there’s so much that has to get done the next day? (Again, I’m guilty.)

Do you know which popular phrase I hate? Making memories, as in  Oh, great, now on top of everything else, I have to worry about making sure all those experiences are memorable for others.

It’s time to take a breather, to power down, to set the switch to off. Not forever, but for a bit. It’s time to cool down and recharge.

Why? So you don’t burn out. So that you don’t build up resentment. So that you don’t hurt yourself. We’re not built to always be going and doing.

Why not stop and

• Take a few deep breaths
• Sit an close your eyes for a minute
• Go outside and lift your face to the sun
• Maybe take a walk while you’re out there
• Pet your dog or cat
• Listen to some calming music
• Read a novel, something fluffy and fun
• Meditate

When we take time to relax, we allow our physical and emotional systems to return to their baseline states. Taking a break reduces mental fatigue and anxiety. It leaves us feeling refreshed with renewed energy.

Just don’t use that energy to plan more busyness.

Seriously, how’s your summer?

Earlier in the week, I felt called to talk about angel numbers in our weekly Facebook Live. I was glad I did as it resonated with at least one person, who asked me which book on the subject she should buy.

That reminded me that I had to look up a number, 944, that I had seen on two cars that were side by side at O’Hare when I got back from Las Vegas. I was annoyed that I had to leave the terminal I arrived at and walk outside to get to the terminal where my luggage was. But there, between the two terminals, were the cars. Of course, by the time I got home, I had forgotten to look up 944.

The next day, a Facebook memory popped up from 13 years ago. I just wrote ‘jolting yogurt” as a note to myself as I prepare to write a sermon. And I think Jolting Yogurt would be a good name for a rock band. I tried to find that sermon and couldn’t. But I did come across another sermon that had this:
Or is believing seeing? I don’t have to see a million dollars to know that it exists.  I don’t have to know how electricity works to enjoy a piece of toast.  And I don’t have to understand the complexities of the optic nerve to watch television.  As I said, I didn’t believe in angels when I saw them, so how could I have created them?

Oh, right—I need to lookup 944 in my angel numbers book. It says, Your Divine Life purpose involves working with the angels and archangels to help others.

You know what I always say. You can’t make this shit up. Angels, angels, angels.

How has Spirit been trying to get your attention lately? Do cardinals always fly right in front of your car? Do you constantly see 11:11 or 444 or 777? Do you find a penny almost every day? Or maybe white feathers are always in your path?

If you don’t know what message Spirit is trying to give you, take some time to find out. Meditate or pray. What comes up? Pay attention to your dreams. Maybe try some bibliomancy, which is asking a question and then opening a book at random, pointing at the page and reading the passage.

If you do know the meaning of the symbols being shown to you, what are you being called to do? What’s your next step? Get on it!

And watch for my angel class. I hope to have it ready in September.

“What’s the first thing you’ll do when we win?” I asked my husband, Chris, as he came in the door with some lottery tickets.

Note: when not if.

“Buy a new house. I want a movie theater in the basement,” he said.

We bantered back an forth about what we’d do with the $720,000,000 until Chris said he couldn’t talk about it. It made him too aware of the things he wanted but didn’t have.

This was an excellent example of the Law of Paradoxical Intent.

When there is something we want, whether it’s health, a job, a soulmate, or a material possession, we need to set an intention without feeling a sense of lack. Gratitude brings about more to be grateful for. Focusing on lack constricts the energy and pushes our desire further away from us. It can even bring about more lack.

We attract what we think about and what we feel.

That’s not to say we shouldn’t experience our so-called negative emotions. We absolutely should. All of our emotions serve as guides and teachers. But they have no place in intention-setting.

When I dream about the house I’d buy with our lottery winnings, first I think of all the things in our current house that I’m grateful for. It’s bright and sunny. It has a beautiful bathtub in a bathroom I designed and love. We can gather my big family  in it for holidays and entertain guests outside in the summer. It’s close to our children and grandchildren.

Next, I feel how wonderful it would be to have some old oaks or maples, a spacious kitchen, and an office with a door. Not because I desperately need or want those things; I don’t. But I can feel how fantastic it would be if I did have them.

And then, I let go of attachment. I release my attachment to the outcome. I have sent my desire out into the Universe knowing that there are always enough wonderful things for everyone. I release my attachment to the form in which my desire will be delivered. I release attachment to timing.

Releasing attachment is the magic wand we wave over our intention. Once we do that, poof! We have more than enough.

P.S. When I win the lottery, you’re all invited over for an over-the-top party!

You know how sometimes you can walk into a room and feel what’s been going on in there? Maybe it was an argument that left lingering tension. Or maybe you pick up on the lighthearted mood that the people who were in there left behind.

Do you ever set an intention before starting something? Perhaps before you pick up the phone to call someone, you set an intention for a positive outcome. Or before a meeting, you take a moment to set an intention for everyone to feel it was worthwhile. It can even be as simple as saying Today is going to be a great day! as you get out of bed.

Here’s something new to try: set an intention of love and blessing as you enter and leave a room or place.

Physical spaces act like sponges. They absorb the energy of everyone who passes through them.  We have no idea who was in there, but we can feel the effects as their energetic footprint either drains us or energizes us.

We can’t control those who went before us, but we can control what we leave behind. Leaving behind a vibration of love can clear out stagnant energy and allow positivity to flow in, making it harmonious and nourishing.

It’s as simple as saying Bless this space as you enter or feeling love in your heart center and letting it radiate into the room, house, building, office, or store. You can also call on your spirit guides and angels to help you. Or you can visualize the space free of toxic energy, chaos, and negativity.

Who knows whose day you’ll change as you leave a footprint of goodwill?

Try it for a week. See if it doesn’t brighten your days.

“You have a brother-in-law who passed from this life, yes?”

The psychic medium pointed at me. I was too surprised to answer. My mind went blank. Did I have a brother-in-law who was dead?

Without waiting for me to answer, she continued. “He says that no one has to do anything, no one has to take the initiative, because they all know you’ll do whatever needs to be done.”

That’s true. But isn’t that true of most mothers? Maybe even most women?

“You have something wrong with the lower half of your body, yes?” She was speaking so quickly. “Hips, knees, ankles. Your bother-in-law is saying that you need to take care of that because Advil is no longer working.”

There was no way she could have guessed that. I hadn’t slept in two nights because the pain in my left ankle was so bad. My hip almost always hurts. And lately, my knee had been complaining. Ignoring it was becoming less and less of an option. Ostrich medicine only works for the ostrich for so long. Time to get my head out of the sand.

And, oh, yeah, I did have a brother-in-law who died–my sister’s husband.

Monday I got back from Lily Dale Assembly, about an hour outside Buffalo, New York. Opened in 1879, Lily Dale is not only a spiritual healing center, but also home to about thirty-five registered psychic mediums. It’s open to the public in the summer. I went with my friend Lindsay to experience mediumship demonstrations, hands-on spiritual healing, the old-growth virgin forest, the fairy garden, and the labyrinth. But mostly, I wanted to be with people like me, people who don’t think I’m a kook when I mention that I see dead people.

The first night I was there, as I got into bed, two people came to me. The first was a man, who looked a bit like Niles Crane from the TV show Frasier, except he was dressed in clothes from the turn of the last century. The other was a young girl in a sailor dress.

The next morning, I went downstairs and asked the owner of the house we were staying at what he knew of the history of the house. Without a word, he pulled up a photo on his phone and handed it to me. There was my guy, right in the center, standing on the steps of the house!

Later, the girl in the sailor dress came to Lindsay, who is a talented medium. She said the girl had been a student there, but she died young. The sailor dress was her favorite, but her mother didn’t like her to wear it. She came to me because I always notice little flowers and she loved them too, and because I teach children. She said she misses her teachers from Lily Dale.

I had similar experiences throughout the five days I was there. Everyone does. Lily Dale is absolutely magical. There are classes and presentations you can attend and mediums you can pay for an in-depth reading, or you can simply sit and chat with the other visitors.

There’s something wonderful about finding your people and feeling completely accepted.

I can’t say enough good things about my trip. I miss it already and I can’t wait to go back.

“Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?”

I love that line from the movie Elf.  So, let me ask you, what’s your favorite color?

Did you choose a favorite color when you were little and never give it a second thought? Or, when you saw my question, did you have questions of your own? Like Favorite color for what? Walls? Car? Clothes? Throw pillows?

Maybe your favorite changes from season to season or from year to year.

Take a moment to think. If your favorite color hasn’t changed in years, examine that. Why? Do you still favor it? Do you surround yourself with it? If not, maybe it’s your favorite in name only.

If your favorite changes, look at when.

I read once that women who are recently divorced tend to wear lots of either purple or white. Purple because it shows self-worth and individuality; white because it makes them feel fresh and open to new opportunities. They don’t make a conscious decision to wear purple or white, rather they are drawn to those colors.

If you suddenly find yourself saying something like, “Orange is going to be my color this summer!” check to see if your second chakra (the sacral charka, the one below your bellybutton), is unbalanced. This chakra is associated with emotions, sensuality, creativity, and birthing. When out of balance, you may feel either emotionally constipated or like you’re drowning in emotions. You might feel unable to receive pleasure or engage in unhealthy sexual expression.

Here are what it could mean if you find yourself drawn these colors:

Red: Red is associated with the root chakra. It is located at the base of the spine. When out of balance, you may feel literally out of balance or unable to navigate changes or challenges. You may not feel safe, secure, or stable.

Yellow: The third chakra is located in the solar plexus. If you lack confidence and self-esteem or if you don’t feel in control of your life, this chakra may be out of balance.

Green (and, surprisingly, pink): The heart chakra rules our ability to love and feel compassion.

Blue: Do you have something that needs to be said? Are you having trouble communicating? The fifth chakra is located at the base of the throat and is responsible for our ability to speak our truth.

Indigo: You can thank your third eye chakra for your gut instincts, your intuition. If your intuition is off and you can’t trust it, your sixth chakra needs some help.

Purple (and, maybe not surprisingly, white): The crown chakra is on the top of the head and governs our connection to the Divine. It also plays a part in your life purpose.

Surround yourself with the color or colors you feel drawn to on any particular day. Wear that color. Or find an object in that color and place it where you can see it. This simple act can help balance what is out of balance.

P.S. To watch Will Farrell as Buddy answering the phone click here.

P.P.S. On a practical note, if you want to repel mosquitos, wear white. It turns out they’re goth. Ok, that’s not true. But they are attracted to heat and white helps keep you cool in the sun since it reflects light.