Saturday, my daughter almost didn’t get married.

The hair stylist and the makeup lady arrived at 7:30, followed by my daughter Nora and a gaggle of girls and women. Nora was nervous and as time passed it got increasingly worse.

By the time the limo arrived, Nora was in a haze. Not good.

We got into the building next to the church and she had a panic attack. She was on the floor, sweating, puking, and just barely responding to questions. As I saw it, there were four options:

• Get into the church and get married
• Have Caleb, the groom, come and get her and then go to the church
• Have Caleb and the deacon go to her and marry her on the floor
• Or get married later.

I left to corral the troops while the maid of honor stayed and fanned Nora because she was drenched in sweat.

A half hour later, she sent for Caleb. That didn’t make her feel better. She sent word a bit later, asking if the deacon could marry her on the floor. He said no, it had to be in the church, but he could perform a private ceremony in the chapel. She agreed and they carried her into the chapel.

Meanwhile, we sent the guests home. We sent the guests home. Bye! See you at the reception!

Nora still couldn’t sit up, let alone stand. The deacon refused to marry her lying down. She managed to sit up, the maid of honor still fanning her. She muttered her vows and we carried her to the limo. She still wasn’t really responding. We thought she would feel better once she was married, but she didn’t.

We told the limo driver to take us to the hospital. We flew, taking corners on two wheels.

You better believe I called on my spirit team to keep me steady. I say this simple prayer:

I affirm my spirit. I affirm the source of spirit. I affirm my guardians, guides, angels and ancestors who work for my highest good. Be with me now. Guard me, guide me, show me your love. Thank you.

Nora got an IV of fluids and anti-nausea medication. She and Caleb made it to the reception a half hour late, but the regular Nora was back like she never had a complete freak-out.

Life presents us with trials and challenges, opportunities to grow and situations that are beyond our comfort zone. We don’t have to face them alone. We always have people who love us who we can ask for help. We also have our angels, our spirit guides, and the Conscious Universe (God, Spirit, whatever name we choose) to call on. We are so eternally loved.

Last Sunday, more people opened my newsletter than almost ever before. Of course they did. I had left a note to myself in it. Doesn’t it always seem that we make more mistakes when others are looking?

I was torn about leaving in a couple of sentences and meant to go back and decide. And then forgot.

How many times have you put off making a decision?

I know a woman who saves boxes thinking one day she’ll move. She’s been in her apartment for thirty years now, surrounded by boxes.

Another woman I know is considering leaving her husband. Meanwhile, she’s putting up with his trash-talking.

As for me, I kept putting off confronting the relative who had abused me as a child, which meant it was always on my mind. Once I finally said something, I was able to move past it.

The Two of Swords is about decision-making. It comes up when we find ourselves in a situation where neither choice seems particularly appealing, and we feel at a stalemate or in limbo. Like the woman on the card, we may choose to keep the blindfold on, hoping the problem goes away by itself, but unless we take off the blindfold and take action, there will be no progress.

By putting off the decision, we may think we haven’t decided when in fact we have. Marilyn is still in her apartment. Johanna is still with her husband. My newsletter went out with those sentences I was waffling about in it.

It’s too late for me to un-send last week’s newsletter, but it’s not too late for me to examine where in my life I’m waffling to the point where everyone can smell my maple goodness. Maybe you’d be willing to help me.

I’ve been thinking of teaching a class about angels—who they are, what the difference is between archangels and guardian angels, how we can get to know them, and how they can help us in both times of need and in everyday life. Would you be interested in a class like that? Reply to this email and let me know.

In the meantime, ask yourself what decision you’ve been putting off. How is that affecting your life? What do you need to do to remove the blindfold and get yourself out of yourself from limbo?

For my birthday, I made a cake that was way too delicious. It was almost like an angel food cake, with raspberry jam and fresh raspberries between the layers, then frosted with whipped cream that had pulverized dehydrated raspberries in it. Yum.

If that cake sat around my house, I’d be wearing it on my hips before the week was out.

I took it to a neighbor’s house. Her hips could worry about it.

Saturday, I realized that she still had my plate. I sent her a text and set off to meet her midway.

“How are you,” I asked. She shrugged. “What’s up?” I genuinely wanted to know. She is one of the friendliest and kindest people I know. Before we met I needed someone to French braid my granddaughter’s hair because I don’t know how. She was dancing in the Nutcracker in a couple of hours, and I was in a panic. I pleaded in our neighborhood’s Facebook group and this woman came to my rescue.

“Life,” she said morosely.

“Want to come over?” I asked.

She burst into tears and nodded.

I offered her something to drink as I rummaged in the refrigerator. I found two grapefruit White Claw drinks. Where the hell did those come from? I don’t drink White Claw. I’ve certainly never bought hard seltzer. And two of them? I thanked my angels as I poured the drinks into glasses. Angels are the only explanation I can come up with.

We talked for a couple of hours. Her life was feeling chaotic and overwhelming. I hope I did more listening than talking. I think I did.

She finally stood up to leave. “Maybe this is why I kept forgetting to bring your plate back,” she said.

Or maybe it’s why I followed my intuition and took the cake to her in the first place. It would have been easier to take it next door rather than two blocks over. Or why I got the notion to ask to get my plate when I did.

Follow your intuition. You never know where it might lead you.

Betty

Our dog, Betty, is a social butterfly. She goes to doggy daycare twice a week to play Bite Your Face, Can’t Catch Me, and other canine games. When I picked her up Thursday, the owner of the place asked me what I do. Uh-oh. Would she think I was a kook?

Instead, she thought I was joking. Maybe because I don’t dress like the gypsy stereotype.

“But, like, how do you do it?” she asked, holding out her hand for me to read her palm.

“Dogs sense energy, right?” I said. “They know how everyone’s feeling. They even know what’s coming up next.”

She agreed. “They even know when they’re going to be picked up before you pull into the driveway,” she said.

I’ve had dogs who knew the sound of my car. Betty? She barks like an intruder is on his way in every time I drive into the garage. I’ve heard that dogs know when it’s time for you to return from work, that they measure the amount of your scent is in the air. As it diminishes, they know it’s time for you to arrive home and give them a treat.

We can’t exactly ask our dogs how they know these things. And we can’t get into their Cocoa Puff-sized brains to find out, but my theory is they use all their senses in a way that is similar to what I do when I’m working with someone.

I might hear music or suddenly remember a line of a song. I sometimes taste food or a drink. I can smell perfumes or nature or hot asphalt. I might see a scene or a color. I feel pain in my body as if it’s happening to me, sometimes quite violent things like a gun shot or a heart attack.

I put words to what I’m experiencing and that starts a conversation. While I’m talking, I’m also clearing the energy.

According to Deepak Chopra, “In its essential state, our bodies are composed of energy and information, not solid matter. This energy and information is an outcropping of infinite fields of energy and information spanning the universe.” As I sense energy, I remember that behind all form is energy. Clear the negative energy or the energy that doesn’t belong and the healing begins.

Everyone senses energy differently. Some people can see energy patterns, some people see colors. Some people get a deep knowing or sense of things, and some people just use their imagination. There is no right or wrong way to sense energy. And there is no right or wrong way for angels, spirit guides, and dead people to send me signs and symbols. I try to remain open so I can receive the messages however they’re sent. Just like dogs do.

Even if you think you are not able to sense energy, you are in your own unique way. It will develop through time if you remain open, trust yourself, and stick with it. Just as catching a frisbee in mid-air with your teeth takes practice, so does reading and decoding energetic messages.

“They’re gone!” a client of mine exclaimed about some hemorrhagic complex follicular cysts. “The ultrasound showed no trace of them!”

A few months ago, we had been working together and I felt a sharp pain around her ovaries. I asked her what was going on. Did she experience pain when she ovulated? She said no, she didn’t.

I am not a doctor. I am not even a medical intuitive. But when I pick up on physical anomaly like this, I recommend the client see their doctor. It might be uncomfortable to explain why you’re there (“Um, a woman who does energy work thinks it’s a good idea…”), but it’s better than leaving something undetected until it’s too late.

The ultrasound was performed and the cysts on her ovaries were discovered. The doctor put her on birth control to try to control their growth. It didn’t help. More grew.

Meanwhile, she allowed me to clear her family’s energetic patterns.

Her family has a long history of sexual trauma. And although she herself had not suffered abuse, the damage was passed on to her energetically.  Just as we have an individual soul-purpose, story arc, and karma, so do our families*. Behaviors, patterns, strengths, and weaknesses are inherited along with eye colors, shoe sizes, and the ability (or inability) to roll your tongue.

Physical repetitive stress injuries, such as carpal tunnel syndrome, are injuries to muscles, nerves, and tendons caused by performing the same motion over and over. We experience similar effects when we (or our families) repeatedly engage in the same emotional or energetic behaviors such as addiction, suicide, chronic unemployment, or, in this case, sexual abuse.

By clearing this pattern from our energy, we can clear the negative physical effects we experience because of it.

Which is just what we did. I cleared her energy and led her through a series of guided healing meditations. The combination of energy work and visualization resulted in what modern medicine might call a miracle.

Simply put, we are energy. When we harness the power within us with intention, we can heal and create a new reality for ourselves, our offspring, and generations to come.


*To start exploring your own family’s emotional patterns, you may want to explore genograms (which is what these patterns are called) online or by finding a book at your local library or Amazon

Having trouble with your electronics? Travel plans falling through? Communication hijinks beyond your control? Mercury has stationed retrograde again.

If it feels like Mercury is retrograde half the time, you’re not far off. With the pre- and post-shadows added to the three or four times a year Mercury isn’t direct (the opposite of retrograde. For more on what that means, click here), it adds up to close to six months. Which turns out to be half of our lives.

And, to add to the fun, this retrograde could feel even more chaotic than usual. On April 21^st, when this phase started, Mercury was right next to Uranus, the planet of surprises and disruptions. It’s also happening during eclipse season, which tends to shake things up.

So, expect the usual shenanigans, but look to how you can use this retrograde energy as well. While Mercury appears to be going back over ground it’s covered, so should we.

• Pick up an old to-do list and finish anything that’s not crossed off.
• Revisit a dream or goal you left by the wayside.
• Question anything that’s not working in your life. What needs to change?
• Look at the limiting beliefs you hold. Break through patterns that are keeping you stuck.
• Do some shadow work such as asking what parts of yourself do you not like or keep hidden? And how can you integrate them?

Mercury will continue its retrograde path until May 14^th. Its shadow will influence us for another week or so after it stations direct. Until then, slow down. Allow extra travel time, reread your email and texts before hitting send, and watch for technical glitches.

But, most importantly, remember that this can be a period of reflection and course correction.

Let’s say you have a class reunion to go to…

Ok, let’s say I have a class reunion to go to. How do I want to look and feel going into that roomful of former classmates? Do I want to turn heads in the best possible way? You bet I do. Can I use that to motivate me to lose weight? Probably not. Sure, I can be vain. Yes, I’d like to cruise into that room with a body that’s at least reminiscent of my teenage self. But I’ve been to three high school class reunions already and my weight never budged knowing I’d be seeing old friends.

What provides us with motivation to accomplish something is deeply personal. Virtuous reasoning rarely works. That is, for example, looking at a BMI chart and seeing where some experts say we should be.

I recently lost about 35 pounds. My motivator was pain. Sitting on the couch crying because the bursitis was unbearable was a powerful inspiration. I didn’t change the way I ate to lose weight as much as I did to see if I could eliminate the constant agony. And what do you know—I lost weight in the process.

What’s a goal you have? What would you like to accomplish? Invent something better than sliced bread (or better than cold canned beer, as a friend of mine used to say)? Create the next Mona Lisa or be the next Banksy? Lose 20 pounds? Make a pile of money? Run a marathon?

The first step is to identify that goal. The second is to ask yourself why. For fame? Influence or power? Vanity? Legacy? Health? This is where you’ll need to be brutally honest. Dig deep.

Is it okay to do something out of vanity or a desire for influence or power? You betcha. Your emotions are your emotions, and they are what will spur you on to the finish line. You don’t have to reveal your motivation to anyone but yourself. It’s your unique secret superpower.

We all have our quirks. We may as well put them to use.

If feeling vain or whatever makes you uncomfortable, you can add some altruistic motivation. Who else benefits from your goal? My being pain-free (and losing weight) will allow me to run around with my grandchildren. Being the next Leonardo can put you in the spotlight and allow you to talk about causes that are important to you. Making a pile of money can allow you to be a philanthropist.

Once you find your real motivation, don’t just think about it. Write it down. Put it somewhere you can see it. Review it periodically to make sure your reasoning resonates. If it no longer does, rethink it. Reinvent it.

Then reinvent yourself into everything you ever dreamed of.