Betty

Our dog, Betty, is a social butterfly. She goes to doggy daycare twice a week to play Bite Your Face, Can’t Catch Me, and other canine games. When I picked her up Thursday, the owner of the place asked me what I do. Uh-oh. Would she think I was a kook?

Instead, she thought I was joking. Maybe because I don’t dress like the gypsy stereotype.

“But, like, how do you do it?” she asked, holding out her hand for me to read her palm.

“Dogs sense energy, right?” I said. “They know how everyone’s feeling. They even know what’s coming up next.”

She agreed. “They even know when they’re going to be picked up before you pull into the driveway,” she said.

I’ve had dogs who knew the sound of my car. Betty? She barks like an intruder is on his way in every time I drive into the garage. I’ve heard that dogs know when it’s time for you to return from work, that they measure the amount of your scent is in the air. As it diminishes, they know it’s time for you to arrive home and give them a treat.

We can’t exactly ask our dogs how they know these things. And we can’t get into their Cocoa Puff-sized brains to find out, but my theory is they use all their senses in a way that is similar to what I do when I’m working with someone.

I might hear music or suddenly remember a line of a song. I sometimes taste food or a drink. I can smell perfumes or nature or hot asphalt. I might see a scene or a color. I feel pain in my body as if it’s happening to me, sometimes quite violent things like a gun shot or a heart attack.

I put words to what I’m experiencing and that starts a conversation. While I’m talking, I’m also clearing the energy.

According to Deepak Chopra, “In its essential state, our bodies are composed of energy and information, not solid matter. This energy and information is an outcropping of infinite fields of energy and information spanning the universe.” As I sense energy, I remember that behind all form is energy. Clear the negative energy or the energy that doesn’t belong and the healing begins.

Everyone senses energy differently. Some people can see energy patterns, some people see colors. Some people get a deep knowing or sense of things, and some people just use their imagination. There is no right or wrong way to sense energy. And there is no right or wrong way for angels, spirit guides, and dead people to send me signs and symbols. I try to remain open so I can receive the messages however they’re sent. Just like dogs do.

Even if you think you are not able to sense energy, you are in your own unique way. It will develop through time if you remain open, trust yourself, and stick with it. Just as catching a frisbee in mid-air with your teeth takes practice, so does reading and decoding energetic messages.

“They’re gone!” a client of mine exclaimed about some hemorrhagic complex follicular cysts. “The ultrasound showed no trace of them!”

A few months ago, we had been working together and I felt a sharp pain around her ovaries. I asked her what was going on. Did she experience pain when she ovulated? She said no, she didn’t.

I am not a doctor. I am not even a medical intuitive. But when I pick up on physical anomaly like this, I recommend the client see their doctor. It might be uncomfortable to explain why you’re there (“Um, a woman who does energy work thinks it’s a good idea…”), but it’s better than leaving something undetected until it’s too late.

The ultrasound was performed and the cysts on her ovaries were discovered. The doctor put her on birth control to try to control their growth. It didn’t help. More grew.

Meanwhile, she allowed me to clear her family’s energetic patterns.

Her family has a long history of sexual trauma. And although she herself had not suffered abuse, the damage was passed on to her energetically.  Just as we have an individual soul-purpose, story arc, and karma, so do our families*. Behaviors, patterns, strengths, and weaknesses are inherited along with eye colors, shoe sizes, and the ability (or inability) to roll your tongue.

Physical repetitive stress injuries, such as carpal tunnel syndrome, are injuries to muscles, nerves, and tendons caused by performing the same motion over and over. We experience similar effects when we (or our families) repeatedly engage in the same emotional or energetic behaviors such as addiction, suicide, chronic unemployment, or, in this case, sexual abuse.

By clearing this pattern from our energy, we can clear the negative physical effects we experience because of it.

Which is just what we did. I cleared her energy and led her through a series of guided healing meditations. The combination of energy work and visualization resulted in what modern medicine might call a miracle.

Simply put, we are energy. When we harness the power within us with intention, we can heal and create a new reality for ourselves, our offspring, and generations to come.


*To start exploring your own family’s emotional patterns, you may want to explore genograms (which is what these patterns are called) online or by finding a book at your local library or Amazon

Having trouble with your electronics? Travel plans falling through? Communication hijinks beyond your control? Mercury has stationed retrograde again.

If it feels like Mercury is retrograde half the time, you’re not far off. With the pre- and post-shadows added to the three or four times a year Mercury isn’t direct (the opposite of retrograde. For more on what that means, click here), it adds up to close to six months. Which turns out to be half of our lives.

And, to add to the fun, this retrograde could feel even more chaotic than usual. On April 21^st, when this phase started, Mercury was right next to Uranus, the planet of surprises and disruptions. It’s also happening during eclipse season, which tends to shake things up.

So, expect the usual shenanigans, but look to how you can use this retrograde energy as well. While Mercury appears to be going back over ground it’s covered, so should we.

• Pick up an old to-do list and finish anything that’s not crossed off.
• Revisit a dream or goal you left by the wayside.
• Question anything that’s not working in your life. What needs to change?
• Look at the limiting beliefs you hold. Break through patterns that are keeping you stuck.
• Do some shadow work such as asking what parts of yourself do you not like or keep hidden? And how can you integrate them?

Mercury will continue its retrograde path until May 14^th. Its shadow will influence us for another week or so after it stations direct. Until then, slow down. Allow extra travel time, reread your email and texts before hitting send, and watch for technical glitches.

But, most importantly, remember that this can be a period of reflection and course correction.

Let’s say you have a class reunion to go to…

Ok, let’s say I have a class reunion to go to. How do I want to look and feel going into that roomful of former classmates? Do I want to turn heads in the best possible way? You bet I do. Can I use that to motivate me to lose weight? Probably not. Sure, I can be vain. Yes, I’d like to cruise into that room with a body that’s at least reminiscent of my teenage self. But I’ve been to three high school class reunions already and my weight never budged knowing I’d be seeing old friends.

What provides us with motivation to accomplish something is deeply personal. Virtuous reasoning rarely works. That is, for example, looking at a BMI chart and seeing where some experts say we should be.

I recently lost about 35 pounds. My motivator was pain. Sitting on the couch crying because the bursitis was unbearable was a powerful inspiration. I didn’t change the way I ate to lose weight as much as I did to see if I could eliminate the constant agony. And what do you know—I lost weight in the process.

What’s a goal you have? What would you like to accomplish? Invent something better than sliced bread (or better than cold canned beer, as a friend of mine used to say)? Create the next Mona Lisa or be the next Banksy? Lose 20 pounds? Make a pile of money? Run a marathon?

The first step is to identify that goal. The second is to ask yourself why. For fame? Influence or power? Vanity? Legacy? Health? This is where you’ll need to be brutally honest. Dig deep.

Is it okay to do something out of vanity or a desire for influence or power? You betcha. Your emotions are your emotions, and they are what will spur you on to the finish line. You don’t have to reveal your motivation to anyone but yourself. It’s your unique secret superpower.

We all have our quirks. We may as well put them to use.

If feeling vain or whatever makes you uncomfortable, you can add some altruistic motivation. Who else benefits from your goal? My being pain-free (and losing weight) will allow me to run around with my grandchildren. Being the next Leonardo can put you in the spotlight and allow you to talk about causes that are important to you. Making a pile of money can allow you to be a philanthropist.

Once you find your real motivation, don’t just think about it. Write it down. Put it somewhere you can see it. Review it periodically to make sure your reasoning resonates. If it no longer does, rethink it. Reinvent it.

Then reinvent yourself into everything you ever dreamed of.

If there were an expiration date stamped on the bottom of your right foot, would you look? Would you want to know when you’re going to die?

It doesn’t take a psychic to predict that no one reading this is going to live forever. At some point, your life is going to come to an end.

For some, it comes too soon. Others live to be one hundred or even older. We never know which we’re going to be.

Do you prioritize, plan, and make the most of your time? Or do you live as if you didn’t have an expiration date?

The truth is, we’re wired to not think about our end (if you’d like to explore this further, check out The Worm at the Core by Tom Pyszczynski, Jeff Greenberg, and Sheldon Solomon. They call this terror management theory). Our internal systems have been built with self-preservation in mind and the thought that we don’t make it out of this alive terrifies us.

But instead of being terrified by death, what if we embrace it?

Was there a time you should have died?

For me, yes, at least one. There was the time I was in the passenger seat of a car driving on icy and snowy roads in Minnesota. I fell asleep and woke up to find myself inches away from a metal post on the median. The car had slid off the highway and spun around a few times. I had been about twelve inches away from death.

Incidents like this gave my life more purpose and urgency. I don’t like to postpone anything. I jump into things with both feet.

The next time I’m floating above my body, I don’t want to feel I’ve left anything undone. I want no regrets. No might-have-beens.

What are you putting off, waiting for all the stars to align? Learning to speak Italian? Going to Italy until you’ve learned Italian? Love? Grad School? Buying sexy lingerie? Opening that $200 bottle of wine in your basement?

All those fun things can peacefully coexist with life’s responsibilities. Don’t wait for Death to pencil you in on his calendar because at that point it’ll be too late.

Life is time-bound. Experience life now while you have the chance.

I love going to the Kohler Waters Spa. The Stillness Bath is pure tranquility. I don’t worry about what time it is. I don’t worry at all. I go there as often as I can afford to, which is not as often as I would like.

When was the last time you were so absorbed in an activity that you lost track of time, maybe lost track of where you were, or even entered a different reality?

This can happen when we’re engaged in an extremely pleasurable activity, doing something we love, or having fun. It could be working on a project or hobby you enjoy, or giving yourself an indulgent treat because you soldiered through your colonoscopy or mammogram.

However it happens, it can be extremely beneficial. We are taken out of ourselves. We stop judging ourselves harshly. It takes us off the path that leads to tension and burnout. Instead, we’re rerouted to a path of rejuvenation where we have the strength to take on whatever our next big challenge might be.

We all need healthy, temporary escapes from time to time.

The key here is that they should be both healthy and temporary. We all feel better when we laugh at a few jokes. We can also feel better if we have a drink or two or binge on chocolate. But they’re all forms of escape. Spending time with family, friends, or in nature will enrich our lives. Drinking and overeating can result in feelings of emptiness and regret (not to mention nausea). My spa habit would threaten our mortgage if I indulged as often as I’d like.

What’s important is our motivation. Why are we looking to transcend the real world? Yes, we’re looking to foster positive emotions, but why?

When you examine your motivation for escaping, ask

1. Is my escape contributing to my long-term well-being?
2. Am I running toward something? Or am I running from something?

Things we might run toward include enrichment or self-development. Things we might run away from are negative thoughts, worries, and daily stressors.

In the end, we want to feel expansive rather than suppressive. 

As a wise man (named Ice Cube) once said, “Check yourself, before you wreck yourself.”

Last week, after I wrote about reminiscing, I sent the photo of me, my husband Chris, and our friend Dan on the boat in Turkey to both Chris and Dan. I feel I tripled my happiness because they also enjoyed reminiscing. Here’s what Dan wrote:

“Wow! It certainly was one of my best days too! Friends I’ve known and loved for years came halfway around the world to celebrate (and officiate!) our daughter’s wedding with us. That boat trip was amazing!”

I’m curious—did you try it? How did you feel? Do you think it’s a practice you could keep up? Something you might put on your calendar to do once a week until it becomes a habit?

Here’s another idea, one that’s for more visual people: curate the past. That’s just a fancy way of saying make a holiday jar or a small treasure chest or a scrapbook or photo album.

The idea is to make it manageable so that it brings to mind happy memories rather than making you feel you really should clear out the basement.

This can be tough, especially if you’re a saver (dare I say packrat?) A lanyard from an exciting conference can remind you of your professional successes. Every lanyard from every conference you’ve ever gone to is overkill.

When you go somewhere, collect a few small items during the trip, like a stone, a seashell, a postcard, and the hotel key. Put them in a small jar and place it somewhere you can see it.

You may have a wedding album, but any event can be worthy of small photo album. You can use a service like Shutterfly, or you can print them and create the album yourself.

If you like to draw, make a sketch book of a memorable time. Or, if you like to write, record vignettes and keep them in a binder or folder, somewhere you can pull them out and review them with ease.

Of course, if there’s something that lights you up, you can do more than simply save it in the basement or attic. Surround yourself with those activities artifacts. Put them out on display. Frame and decorate a wall with record albums from your favorite concerts, for example.

Here’s the secret sauce: Acknowledge any elements of your reminisce that were not fun. Were there challenging moments? How did they make you feel? Including what was not fun serves two purposes. It provides a backdrop to further appreciate the good times, and it provides valuable feedback about perhaps what not to do next time.

In Istanbul, after the boat ride, Chris and I took public transportation back to our hotel. Or we tried to. We got off at the wrong stop. And couldn’t find a taxi willing to drive into the bazaar, which was where we were staying. We had our phones, but spotty cell service. I get panicky when I’m lost. Next time I’m in a country where I don’t speak the language, I’ll bring a paper map.

But even with that hiccup, it was still the best day of my life.